Venting Tired of the constant abuse of life. My will to death surpasses my will to life.

[Vivir_O_No]

This is a post to let you know that I will try again in about 5 or 6 hours. If I don't update this post it means that I have indeed accomplished my goal.

The pleasure of dying.

"Death is not an evil, because it frees us from all evils, and although it takes away good things, it also takes away our desire for them. Old age is the supreme evil, because it deprives us of all pleasures, leaving us only the appetite for them, and brings with it all sufferings. Yet we fear death and desire old age".
- Giacomo Leopardi

I believe that deep down there is a certain pleasure to be found in dying. It is the pleasure of liberation from a life that constantly binds us and abuses us, and that in spite of everything, we are forced to be grateful for this abuse as smiling martyrs. It is in the liberation from this decadent body, from need, and from all that comes with being human that I find true liberation. It can also be a source of pleasure for the empath; one who finds it unbearable to live in a world where one causes pain to the other.

I will now meditate, imagining my death, and in it the pleasure of being liberated. I forgot to mention that if one is curious, death can also mean the pleasure of knowledge, of finally knowing what all this chaos is, because even the fact that nothing happens represents an answer.
--
I tried partial hanging again. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!! HOW AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO THIS? SHIT. This is so hard. I do really need something to lower my inhibition. Fuck, I do need more preparation for this.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Same, my will to die also surpasses my will to live but, in my case, I never had a will to live in the first place as life is absolutely abhorrent and cruel. In fact, it isn't even a will to live but rather a will to survive as, lets be honest, 99% of humanity are merely surviving rather than living. Death is absolutely beautiful and blissful whereas existence is the direct antonyms of that. There's nothing beautiful about existence as it is just torturous survival from birth to death along with the chance of getting fucked massively by life's whims and mere chance. I hope you manage to find peace soon by escaping this hellish existence

 

[Vivir_O_No]

Goodbye guys.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, for me personally non-existence truly is all that's desirable as only then will I be unable to suffer and unable to be harmed in any way, I only hope to never exist again where all is forgotten about for me. I'd never wish for the cruelty and futility of being burdened with this existence, I also feel so tired of it all, in my case I never would have chose any of this but anyway I hope that you find what you are searching for.