glyph
Year Zero
- Jan 22, 2023
- 15
I feel really shitty today. I'm so tired of feeling like an absolute nothing. I hate myself so much I can't look at myself in the mirror or go out, I can't comprehend how people can talk to me without throwing up. I can't socialize. Yet I still can't accept the fact that I'll always be alone, that I've wasted my youth on self-hatred. I just don't know what to do, at this point I don't think that there is anything there for me, I'm a mistake and should have never been born. I don't know what to do.
The worst for me is that I can't stop being jealous of others, I wish I were anybody else but me. I can't look at other random people outside, all of them have something inside, something that makes them human, brings a smile on their face. Even if they have problems I still envy them. The majority of them have someone they could share their life with. And I can't. Because I'm the biggest fucking fuck up. No matter what I do I just can't change, i can't stop hating my own being.
The worst for me is that I can't stop being jealous of others, I wish I were anybody else but me. I can't look at other random people outside, all of them have something inside, something that makes them human, brings a smile on their face. Even if they have problems I still envy them. The majority of them have someone they could share their life with. And I can't. Because I'm the biggest fucking fuck up. No matter what I do I just can't change, i can't stop hating my own being.