Venting Tired of everything. I want it to end soon.

[Artificial-Angel]

Everyday of my life has felt the same. Nobody in my life has ever really actually cares or wants to be around me. None of my family gives a single shit about me. All my friends don't really give a shit about me and in the end have not been there; last one yelled at me for emotional around him. everytime I find someone who I think actually likes me in any romantic way only wants to fuck me and leave. Never had a real girlfriend. Im acearo and im jealous at anyone who can feel real attraction. I think there is something innately wrong with me that everyone else sees that I cannot. I'm probably just insufferable to be around. Hate having to work just to live and afford estrogen so I don't totally hate myself. I want to just disappear but have yet to pull the trigger, I just need to convince myself a little bit more and find a way im comfortable with.

 

[Withered]

Please forgive me, but it sounds like you are young and emotionally dysregulated on account of the misfortune you have experienced in your life. It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself of a reality in which you are disposable so that the avenue of CTB seems more viable, reasonable, and inevitable. Don't try to convince yourself. That's how people do things they regret. If CTB is what's best for you, it will manifest itself as an inevitability regardless of your state of mind. I implore you to exhaust all the resources you have to stay alive; if nothing works, and life still begets torture, then and only then is it time to even consider making plans.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I can relate in a lot of ways. It sucks.