Time is almost gone for me and here I am

[chocolatebar]

When I first realized that my life was gone and found my method, I decided to try doing something with the remaining of my life.
Now, here I am, with almost no time left and I couldn't do anything in this time.
A complete waste...
I don't even have enough privacy to browse ss those days

 

[CommitSudoku]

What did you want to try but ended up not being able to do? I'm sorry it couldn't happen. It really hurts when it can seem like none of our time is actually our own, or else what we have is ruined by ourselves and just filled with pain or other negativity/lack of anything. I have time now, but there's just nothing at all that even appeals to do so the time will be wasted until the next day I dread gets here with nothing changed. I'm sorry to hear you didn't have enough privacy to even come here as well, it must have been hard living in such circumstances. Best wishes whatever you do going forward.

 

[chocolatebar]

What did you want to try but ended up not being able to do? I'm sorry it couldn't happen. It really hurts when it can seem like none of our time is actually our own, or else what we have is ruined by ourselves and just filled with pain or other negativity/lack of anything. I have time now, but there's just nothing at all that even appeals to do so the time will be wasted until the next day I dread gets here with nothing changed. I'm sorry to hear you didn't have enough privacy to even come here as well, it must have been hard living in such circumstances. Best wishes whatever you do going forward.

thanks for your kind words

I tried moving away from this house, finding a job, a good relationship, traveling etc. In the end, I'm still chained to this place, working in something I hate and not living a single good moment in my days

 

[hopelessgirl]

When I first realized that my life was gone and found my method, I decided to try doing something with the remaining of my life.
Now, here I am, with almost no time left and I couldn't do anything in this time.
A complete waste...
I don't even have enough privacy to browse ss those days

How did you realise your life was gone? What method are you going for?

 

[chocolatebar]

How did you realise your life was gone? What method are you going for?

I'm not young anymore and that means I can't to anything else in my youth, because it's gone. Time is gone. And I don't want to live as someone older, not without living my youth

I originally wanted to use CO, but I'm going for SN because it's easier to control and acquire what is needed

 

[hopelessgirl]

What is living youth? Why can't you live a new "youth" but life reinvented as old. If you don't mind me asking. Yeah sn is my method as well.

 

[chocolatebar]

What is living youth? Why can't you live a new "youth" but life reinvented as old. If you don't mind me asking. Yeah sn is my method as well.

things are different... my body is different. I can feel every small detail of change. The people around me are different, they don't want to experience things the way I do, but to live a "mature" life. The younger ones won't accept me well in their circles because, well... I'm not one of them anymore...

even the world is different now...

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

things are different... my body is different. I can feel every small detail of change. The people around me are different, they don't want to experience things the way I do, but to live a "mature" life. The younger ones won't accept me well in their circles because, well... I'm not one of them anymore...

even the world is different now...

Just how old are we talking about here?

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

thanks for your kind words

I tried moving away from this house, finding a job, a good relationship, traveling etc. In the end, I'm still chained to this place, working in something I hate and not living a single good moment in my days

Sorry to hear that. I can relate. I'm currently not working (medical leave) because I hated what I was doing at that job. In meantime I'm trying to get another job.

 

[km0990]

things are different... my body is different. I can feel every small detail of change. The people around me are different, they don't want to experience things the way I do, but to live a "mature" life. The younger ones won't accept me well in their circles because, well... I'm not one of them anymore...

even the world is different now...

I empathize with you I feel similar

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering, this life is just so depressing. I know that it can be awful living a miserable existence. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[chocolatebar]

Just how old are we talking about here?

I prefer not to tell my age, because someone older might feel fad seeing me talk this way about my age. I feel so bad when I see someone younger complaining...
I hope you understand

Sorry to hear that. I can relate. I'm currently not working (medical leave) because I hated what I was doing at that job. In meantime I'm trying to get another job.

Same situation here. Going for another medical leave and looking for another job, but asking myself why I'm still doing it when it's so late...