Time doesn’t heal shit…hate when people say move on or let it go

[hellispink]

I don't know if most people are just delusional. Or maybe it is me the delusional one. But I hate when they say move on or let it go, like i can handle being replaceable, like i can handle being insignificant and sad for the rest of my life. What do they actually move on from because my scars are forever with me physically and also internally. Most of my life has been so painful and it hasn't stopped hurting. Wanting to let go, fighting ain't enough , when will people stop lying to themselves and believing this bullshit. I hate myself for still being here in this world, i already decided for death, but i hang around , doing i dont know what . Pathetic i must be

 

[FuneralCry]

It's true that time doesn't heal anything, I believe that as time goes on the amount of suffering being experienced increases as we become more and more tired of existing. It's tragic how life can torture us in endless amounts of ways with no real relief from what we experience, those who believe that existing becomes more bearable are believing in delusions. It's sad how people invalidate all of the very real pain that exists in this world, only leaving this world would solve what I see as being the problem, which is life itself. It's such a cruel burden having the ability to suffer, the existence of life is the real horrific thing.

 

[Lost Magic]

I have never felt healed by time. Personally, things have only gotten harder over the years. I guess, it is down to what one would define as being healed.

 

[Lonerzepam]

I totally can relate to that. My parents, siblings, friends and even my psychologist always claim the same shit. Let the past behind you, time heals everything, move on with live. Like I get what they're saying and there's some truth behind it. But it's just extremely painfull nonetheless. Also time doesn't heal "everything". As you said there will almost always remain scars. However how big those scars are vary.

You sound like yours aren't easy to treat at all. Mine neither. Like I know I can't change my past and it's also true that I need to move on. For some people it basically means either move on or die. Atleast for me that's the cold reality. And I know that. But those phrases are so hard to swallow especially if the person quoting this has not experienced real trauma.

My parents have a calendar with family pictures on there. On the current photo page from last year are photos from them celebrating christmas. Without my presence. They all look so happy. Everytime I see it I ask myself. "Where were you on that day?" I can't exactly remember. But when I try to look back to that timeline I see mixed, blurred scenes and images of me having withdrawals, seizures, vomiting, selfharm, my ex-girlfriend, confusion, paranoia, psychosis, delusions, addictions, police, psychward, lonelyness, overdoses, ctb attempts etc. etc.

This has been going on for years. I have to live with the horrible consequences everyday. And I know I need to move on and improve my life or like I said die...but they say those phrases like it was nothing. And without real meaning. Cuz they just don't know...how fucked somebody can be. How deep down the rabbit hole actually goes. How much pain you have to endure everyday while they live a good live. It hurts even more.

I also decided to ctb months ago. But I'm still here like you. I'm running from myself everyday. Literally cuz I go jogging lol. And I try to improve so hard every fucking day. But I also tend to ctb. So I said to myself I'm gonna keep doing this till my meds are on the max dose possible. They're against my extreme perception disorder. My brain's just fucked. So I don't have a date said really but I keep moving on a little longer. But it sucks so much to be here. Seeing all the happy people. So painfull everyday.

Anyways I hope things may turn around for you and me for the better eventually. Maybe you can stick around a bit longer to see. But I know the phrase "things can only get better" sucks too and I respect any decision you might make.

Nonetheless I only wish you the best Sending hugs.

Holy shit this text got long.
I'm also venting a bit just so you know haha

 

[Darkover]

There is no set length or duration for grief, and it may come and go in waves. However, according to 2020 research , people who experience common grief may experience improvements in symptoms after about 6 months, but the symptoms largely resolve in about 1 to 2 years.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I got tired of those kinds of responses so I stopped sharing my trauma. But maybe it is unfair to share knowing they won't have anything novel to offer. Recovering from trauma is something that happens organically; it cannot be brute-forced.

 

[makethepainstop]

I don't know if most people are just delusional. Or maybe it is me the delusional one. But I hate when they say move on or let it go, like i can handle being replaceable, like i can handle being insignificant and sad for the rest of my life. What do they actually move on from because my scars are forever with me physically and also internally. Most of my life has been so painful and it hasn't stopped hurting. Wanting to let go, fighting ain't enough , when will people stop lying to themselves and believing this bullshit. I hate myself for still being here in this world, i already decided for death, but i hang around , doing i dont know what . Pathetic i must be

Pathetic? No merely a human who is in excruciating pain. Sometimes for the agent of time to heal wounds, it takes a great deal of time. For some it may take decades, depending on the scope and depth of the pain felt.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

The cliché 'time heals all wounds' gets under my skin too because, in my experience, it doesn't always apply to trauma and other situations. I wouldn't say that trauma has left me with scars - a scar can only form if a wound has healed, scars are just an ugly reminder of what you went through but they're not painful. I think having c-ptsd and unresolved trauma is more like having an un-treated, open, festering wound that spreads and infects your whole body over time. And being re-traumatised is like someone jabbing at the open wound, even a gentle poke is enough to cause unbearable pain.

Whether or not time can heal someone depends on what happens to them during that time. It's much more difficult to heal if you're still stuck in the same environment or situation, if you have unhealthy coping mechanisms or distractions, if you're stuck in a cycle of abuse or neglect, or if you didn't get the help you needed at the time. At some point it can become too late to heal no matter how much time passes by.

 

[sevenkarmas]

My mom (the therapist) said something similar and I pushed back. She's fond of that and "things will work themselves out", as well as "they will eventually have to pay for what they are doing". I've never cursed in my mom's presence before, but I did. I called bullshit - It's words people say when they don't know what to say. It's filler. I know she's trying to be helpful, but it feels like sandpaper on an open wound.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Time healed me quite a few times. Getting over a lost love is hard, lengthy, and painful, but, eventually, the chemicals in your brain that are associated with that love subside, and things get easier and most can move on. You just have to be willing to ride it out. It's just one of the many knocks in life that most have to deal with.

 

[CTB Dream]

Ya ya know no sense say other, all no sense this injury damage say movon say time heal all ignorant. This life all damage there nothing mean heal time movi make worse make die people spevied lie say ok ok all lie. This person say nonsense prolife although show otherwise, movon no sense ,injury damage all ignore nobody see all say social nonsensia all say no meaning word. One make injury damage say movon time heal yea all joke life nonsense

 

[Reallysad]

I totally can relate to that. My parents, siblings, friends and even my psychologist always claim the same shit. Let the past behind you, time heals everything, move on with live. Like I get what they're saying and there's some truth behind it. But it's just extremely painfull nonetheless. Also time doesn't heal "everything". As you said there will almost always remain scars. However how big those scars are vary.

You sound like yours aren't easy to treat at all. Mine neither. Like I know I can't change my past and it's also true that I need to move on. For some people it basically means either move on or die. Atleast for me that's the cold reality. And I know that. But those phrases are so hard to swallow especially if the person quoting this has not experienced real trauma.

My parents have a calendar with family pictures on there. On the current photo page from last year are photos from them celebrating christmas. Without my presence. They all look so happy. Everytime I see it I ask myself. "Where were you on that day?" I can't exactly remember. But when I try to look back to that timeline I see mixed, blurred scenes and images of me having withdrawals, seizures, vomiting, selfharm, my ex-girlfriend, confusion, paranoia, psychosis, delusions, addictions, police, psychward, lonelyness, overdoses, ctb attempts etc. etc.

This has been going on for years. I have to live with the horrible consequences everyday. And I know I need to move on and improve my life or like I said die...but they say those phrases like it was nothing. And without real meaning. Cuz they just don't know...how fucked somebody can be. How deep down the rabbit hole actually goes. How much pain you have to endure everyday while they live a good live. It hurts even more.

I also decided to ctb months ago. But I'm still here like you. I'm running from myself everyday. Literally cuz I go jogging lol. And I try to improve so hard every fucking day. But I also tend to ctb. So I said to myself I'm gonna keep doing this till my meds are on the max dose possible. They're against my extreme perception disorder. My brain's just fucked. So I don't have a date said really but I keep moving on a little longer. But it sucks so much to be here. Seeing all the happy people. So painfull everyday.

Anyways I hope things may turn around for you and me for the better eventually. Maybe you can stick around a bit longer to see. But I know the phrase "things can only get better" sucks too and I respect any decision you might make.

Nonetheless I only wish you the best Sending hugs.

Holy shit this text got long.
I'm also venting a bit just so you know haha

Could not have said this better myself and I am in the exact same boat .
Everyday is so hard and I wish my luck would change.seeing everyone happy and settled down is hard to take and I am trying really hard to change and improve but doing it alone is the hardest thing I've ever done.ctb is so tempting but it's getting a proper way to do it that's hard

 

[Lonerzepam]

Could not have said this better myself and I am in the exact same boat .
Everyday is so hard and I wish my luck would change.seeing everyone happy and settled down is hard to take and I am trying really hard to change and improve but doing it alone is the hardest thing I've ever done.ctb is so tempting but it's getting a proper way to do it that's hard

Sorry you feel the same bro/sis. Ctb is one of the hardest things someone can do. Overcoming SI.

So in many cases recovery seems like a much better/easier option. But there are also cases where recovery takes the same, or even more amount of strenght than actual ctb. And that decision is very difficult but has to be made. My respect to you that you still take the strenght you have left and try to actually recover not knowing if it's even worth it. I'm sorry though you have to go through it alone. Everyone deserves some kind of help. I'm doing the same but I can be glad that I have support from my family.

The good thing about recovery is though if you really on to it, you can see or feel minimal results everyday. And even if you don't notice actively they're here. If you take it really seriously (like I do now), you get into some sort of pattern and it gets a little easier everyday to complete it. But ofcourse you have to do it EVERY DAY.
EVERY FUCKING DAY.
That's the real hardpart. There'll also be fallbacks/relapses. But eventually you'll might see some results. And also...if you put this amount of effort into recovery everday you'll eventually tend more to recovery than ctb cuz first you'll feel better and second you might think to yourself "if I ctb now all this amount of effort and shit I put into it would all have been for nothing if I kms now...". So those ard the good parts of recovery. But it's really hard to get into it especially if you're alone. But you might be able to nonetheless. I see judging from your response that you still have some fire left in you and you're trying to hold on to the tyniest bit of thread that you can find. Like I do. I wish you best of luck on your journey friend whatever it might be.

Maybe I should have posted this in the recovery section. I already see the shitstorm coming lmao

 

[asadghostgirl]

I don't know if most people are just delusional. Or maybe it is me the delusional one. But I hate when they say move on or let it go, like i can handle being replaceable, like i can handle being insignificant and sad for the rest of my life. What do they actually move on from because my scars are forever with me physically and also internally. Most of my life has been so painful and it hasn't stopped hurting. Wanting to let go, fighting ain't enough , when will people stop lying to themselves and believing this bullshit. I hate myself for still being here in this world, i already decided for death, but i hang around , doing i dont know what . Pathetic i must be

I feel the same way being stuck hanging around when time doesn't fix anything - usually it's just made things worse.

 

[Bengal]

I have a degenerative neurological illness. Time does the opposite of healing.

But nobody has been in your shoes. Listening to most shit that comes out of the mouths that are fully healthy and mentally well tends to be frustrating and annoying.

I don't know what you're going thru so I'm not going to tell u things will get better. I don't know and how could i

I do wish u the best (whatever that is)

 

[Wannagonow]

In my experience, time does not heal anything. It seems to just add to my frustration and pain. Over the years I've learned not to share the depths of my depression as well as my desire to ctb. That way they can continue to pretend they don't know I'm in a bad place and I don't have to hear how things will get better or time heals all wounds.

 

[lachrymost]

Time has healed for me before, but I don't want to spend life waiting for old wounds to close, while new ones are continually inflicted.

 

[jamie_]

unresolved trauma is more like having an un-treated, open, festering wound that spreads and infects your whole body over time

Very true, I wish people were aware of this. They perhaps wouldn't just cut you off.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

One thing is for sure. Like, scientifically. Time doesn't heal chronic diseases. "Khronikos" in Greek means "of time". Some problems are actually permanent and time is what literally defines them.

 

[SexyIncél]

They always tell you to be passive. And they make sweeping grand statements with zero evidence, normalizing irrationality and making everyone nearby dumber

What CAN fix things is... fixing things

 

[coolintheshade]

People say those things because it's the 'diplomatic' response society continues to try and normalize.