Thursday is my day

[Hatari]

I'm going.

This Thursday.

Fought this for years. Can't fight anymore.

My now ex gf cheated, denied it, called me a liar, called my old boss to make me look stupid, and now I have nowhere to go and no one. She stopped loving me years ago.

Going to go.

Thursday.

Rope. Closet.

The pain is too much.

Time to be out of pain.
I was strong tonite and told her it was done and I couldn't take her ignoring me anymore.

I can't afford this place.

Can't afford to move.

But I can afford to go.

Just fade away.

No more pain.

 

[sivvie]

I'm so sorry you've suffered so much.. you deserve peace and happiness. I hope this isn't an impulsive decision, and I hope you'll be okay, no matter where you end up. Sending many hugs and much love. <3

It's never too late to turn back, okay? If you don't feel sure, or don't want this, you don't have to go through with it. We'll be here.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry it's come to this. I wish you peace.

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

The cheating mate is a rough one. Been there, done that, ended up homeless near the bus line. Rough times indeed. Sympathies.

 

[Hatari]

I'm so sorry you've suffered so much.. you deserve peace and happiness. I hope this isn't an impulsive decision, and I hope you'll be okay, no matter where you end up. Sending many hugs and much love. <3

It's never too late to turn back, okay? If you don't feel sure, or don't want this, you don't have to go through with it. We'll be here.

I've wanted to go for so long. Every time I stopped myself I regretted it, not this time.

I have no one and nothing, my existence is pointless.

 

[waitingforrest]

I really wish that didn't happen to you, but life is cruel, especially those who are already hurting. I hope you finally find peace from the pain.

 

[miserableforever]

I'm going.

This Thursday.

Fought this for years. Can't fight anymore.

My now ex gf cheated, denied it, called me a liar, called my old boss to make me look stupid, and now I have nowhere to go and no one. She stopped loving me years ago.

Going to go.

Thursday.

Rope. Closet.

The pain is too much.

Time to be out of pain.
I was strong tonite and told her it was done and I couldn't take her ignoring me anymore.

I can't afford this place.

Can't afford to move.

But I can afford to go.

Just fade away.

No more pain.

I'm so sorry.

 

[Depressed Cat]

I'm so sorry that you're going through hell and don't have anything left.

I don't wish to violate the rules and discuss methods, but have you carefully thought about what you mentioned and done the calculation? For if it fails you could end up with permanent damage and suffer even more. Please double & triple check that it is good enough to succeed.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best and hope you find peace.

 

[Onthe29th]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Sometimes, we just have terrible people in our lives and losing your job/career or anything you worked for can be devastating. Now, was your job an at will employer? Those can terminate you for any reason or no reason and it's completely legal for them. Check the laws in your state and the facilities policy to see if they're an at will employer. Also, try to get unemployment.

Can you stay at a hotel or a motel for a while? You could also try your local shelter. I just discovered that some mental institutions also house people who are homeless and link them with programs to get them back on their feet but the one place I know only keeps about 10 people. Halfway houses keep former inmates that have no place to go so I don't see why they couldn't help homeless people too.

What about doing Uber , Lyft, DoorDash or any of those type of jobs where you make your own hours. There's also task-rabbit where you can help people do all types of odd tasks like assembling furniture, cleaning and helping people move.

Your feelings are completely valid and lots of people find themselves in your position because for the same reasons. Losing a spouse, betrayal, job loss, financial instability…it's a lot but people can come back from that with support if they can find it. Just know that no matter what, this site will still be here to support you if you need it.

 

[Hatari]

Rehearsals today and tomorrow.

Departure Thursday.

I just can't.

After 9 years, she threw me aside like an empty can for someone younger and more fun.

I'm done. Spent. I have no comebacks left.

I'm going to be with my first 3 cats and my grandparents.

I'm going.

I can't.

Talked myself out of it too many times.

I can't take the pain.

I can't take feeling so stupid and old and unloved.

I can't.

I'm so sorry that you're going through hell and don't have anything left.

I don't wish to violate the rules and discuss methods, but have you carefully thought about what you mentioned and done the calculation? For if it fails you could end up with permanent damage and suffer even more. Please double & triple check that it is good enough to succeed.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best and hope you find peace.

Thank you. Been researching for months.

 

[Crazy4u]

I am sorry for your suffering. Whatever happens on Thursday, I wish you find peace

 

[Hatari]

Correction: Friday. I won't be home alone tomorrow, so I won't be able to rehearse in the bedroom comfortably. So....Friday is the day.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are in so much pain. This life can be very horrible. I'm sorry that things are so hopeless. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Hatari]

The rehearsal went well. A few loose ends to tidy up.


There is so much darkness.

So much.

Pain.

Loss.

Of time wasted.

To open yourself to someone only for them slowly rip it to shreds over a period of 5 years.

Only to then "flirt" with a "friend" when we all knew the truth.

Words came out of your mouth, scrambling words, but the body language said all that needed to be said.

Even then you couldn't be honest?

You saw me at my lowest point.

You saw me soar to the heights with you at my side.

Couldn't you have been truthful?

Faithful?

Or just left before sending me down the rabbit hole of 5 long years of...

What did I do?

Why can't we work on this?

What do you mean you have no interest?

What do you mean You're happy without that in our lives?

Do you know when I put my hand on your shoulder you recoil?

Do you know how this is breaking my heart?

Broke my heart.

I wasted so much time.

So much.

When all you had to do was be honest. Be open.

Good luck living with that.

Because it will bite you in the ass one day very soon.

 

[subj]

"Because it will bite you in the ass one day very soon."

I realize there is a lot going on in your life. But if it only the relationship you sound angry as in the above statement you made. No ex partner is worth giving up your life for. F... him or her .

 

[Hatari]

"Because it will bite you in the ass one day very soon."

I realize there is a lot going on in your life. But if it only the relationship you sound angry as in the above statement you made. No ex partner is worth giving up your life for. F... him or her .

I'm broken. I have no comebacks left.

I'm going. No more talking myself out of it.

Can't take the pain.

 

[Hatari]

My first 3 cats are waiting for me.

I have family waiting for me.

The girl that got away only to pass away is waiting for me.

One of my oldest friends is waiting for me.

I cannot wait for Friday.

No more pain.

No more doubt.

Just.

Peace.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Good luck Hatari.

 

[Hatari]

Good luck Hatari.

Thank you. Can't wait. Todays practice went well. One more full day of practice to make sure all is set up properly and I'll be all set.

 

[Dead Meat]

I wanna wish you everlasting peace and tranquility Hatari. Lots of Love to you

 

[Maaizr]

this happens way too often man

good luck and bless your heart may your soul find peace and everlasting rest, @Hatari

and fuck that bitch..

 

[koweday]

Your words ring true with me, and remind me of a position I was in not too long ago. I once heard this quote and have always loved it; I feel it describes me and I think it may ring true for you as well:

"For those most sensitive among us, the noise can be too much."

I am sending you so much love. I hope you find everything you long for in the great beyond

 

[miulake]

Goodbye dear. Be blessed. Hope you succeed on Thursday.

 

[Hatari]

Goodbye dear. Be blessed. Hope you succeed on Thursday.

Friday is the day but thank you!

this happens way too often man

good luck and bless your heart may your soul find peace and everlasting rest, @Hatari

and fuck that bitch..

Indeed. Lord knows I made my share of mistakes. Big ones. I lied about money, I was a neat freak, I have issues with anxiety and depression.

I was always faithful and I never even looked at anyone else.

Cheating takes the cake. I can't look past that. Especially after 5 years of not even touching me, and squirming away when I went to touch her.

Can't wait to be out of pain.

 

[steviewonder]

Fairwell, Hatari. May you fly in peace. 🕊

 

[Hatari]

Fairwell, Hatari. May you fly in peace. 🕊

Thank you all so much.

Final all-day rehearsals tomorrow.

Then, Friday is departure day.

Will report in for one last time or two after my final rehearsals.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry you're in such pain, Hatari.

I hope you find peace.

 

[Hatari]

I'm sorry you're in such pain, Hatari.

I hope you find peace.

Thank you. Final rehearsals begin in a few moments.

Departure planned for any time from mid-morning on tomorrow, once I have the house to myself.

Will lock up, barricade the bedroom door, and then away I go, across the rainbow bridge.

To be thrown away without so much as a tear, after 9 years, after 5 years of trying, begging, pleading to work on our issues only to be met with indifference.

Only then to read the texts I read, to see how she felt about someone else, all while ignoring me.

Only to make me feel stupid when confronted about it.

Oh, that's how I talk to my friends.

Well, if that's what you want to believe.

I couldn't get honesty.

Even then.

It's too much.

Can't come back from this.

I've been strong on the outside this week, but inside, I am destroyed.

Destroyed.

I have tons of friends rallying to my side, even her son (not from me) and I am closer than ever.

I just can't.

If I can impart some words of wisdom on everyone, it is this:

• Stay true to yourselves.
• Trust your gut.
• Be kind to animals.
• Don't waste your time on the wrong people.
• If you suspect something in your gut, go with it. Odds are, you're right.
• Keep your secrets, don't open up fully to even your soul mate. They'll hold it against you one day.
• Love one another.

Will report one final time after today's practice.

 

[Hatari]

Just completed two hours of rehearsals.

Quite successful. I even have a second idea that just occurred to me as a backup if need be.

Definitely felt the effects (or is it affects) begin to kick in. I could have left today if I had just....leaned forward...a bit more.

I found the spot, all is set up as it should be.

The spa channel on SiriusXM playing in the background makes for a calm atmosphere.

Tomorrow, I will lock the front door, and lock and barricade the basement door with a chair.

I will make sure my cats have plenty of everything.

All computers will be turned off. All smart cameras unplugged in the bedroom.

As my ex, the one who wouldn't touch me for 5 years only to find solace with telling another man that he was the best part of her 2021, and how she couldn't wait to see his handsome face, still resides here, I will eventually be found.

My cats will be taken care of. She's only unkind to her significant others, not animals.

She can sell my stuff for all I care. I won't need it where I'm going.

Will practice some more, but I am more confident than ever that I have this set.

 

[Foresight]

Much love your way, just human to human. You have the choice until the end.

Thank you for being so considerate and thoughtful for your cats. It's apparant you are a considerate and thoughtful person all in all. Well wishes.