Resource Thread* Types & Signs of Abuse

[peacefulnights]

I was physically, emotionally, sexually abused growing up and I didn't like it. I started to get things like DPDR, anxiety, depression, OCD, severe autism, and BPD traits assigned to me. This is mainly for me to say it plainly but ego and control seem to be more important to abusers then the emotions/suffering of others.

I made a list, this is mainly for myself and public reference so I don't delete it later out of reaction to minimization. Feel free to use it however you like especially with pointing out abusers.

For ref my divorced parents do these things so it is not as extensive as it could possibly be, it's just the main things they usually do.

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1.
Emotional Abuse

• Making you feel scared, worthless, or bad about yourself consistently.
• Enjoying or taking satisfaction in your suffering or fear.
• Gaslighting: denying your reality or experience (e.g., saying you are "playing the victim").
• Blame-shifting: making you responsible for their actions or consequences.
• Invalidating your feelings and needs.
• Mocking, insulting, or belittling you.
• Using unpredictable behavior to keep you anxious or on edge.

2.
Control and Manipulation

• Withholding help, support, or resources (financial, professional, or emotional) to maintain power.
• Intermittent reinforcement: promising help, then taking it away to increase dependence.
• Dictating your choices, access, or opportunities for independence.
• Creating a cycle of fear to keep you compliant.
• Using compliance as a measure of your worth or obedience.
• Refusing to take responsibility for harm while expecting you to follow rules.

3.
Neglect

• Ignoring your emotional and psychological needs.
• Refusing to provide basic guidance or protection when appropriate.
• Failing to intervene when you are suffering or in danger.
• Not acknowledging or validating your experiences of abuse or trauma.

4.
Psychological and Cognitive Abuse

• Lying to authorities (CPS) or others to deny responsibility for abuse.
• Minimizing or dismissing your trauma as "play" or "acting."
• Using your vulnerability (autism, emotional needs) against you.
• Creating confusion about what is safe, normal, or acceptable.
• Undermining your ability to trust your own memory, perception, or judgment.

5.
Physical and Somatic Impact

• Inducing fear to the point of physical symptoms (vomiting, stomach pain, anxiety attacks).
• Using fear of punishment or abandonment as a tool to manipulate.
• Not protecting you from harm, or being the source of harm.

6.
Exploitation

• Using your dependency for their benefit (attention, ego, or control).
• Expecting obedience without regard for your wellbeing.
• Exploiting your efforts or labor without fair compensation or acknowledgement.

7.
Ego and Sadistic Tendencies

• Deriving satisfaction or power from witnessing your distress.
• Prioritizing their own ego and comfort over your safety or happiness.
• Treating you as an extension of themselves or a tool, not a person with needs.
• Ignoring or actively suppressing your autonomy to maintain dominance.

8.
Chronic Abuse Dynamics

• Maintaining abuse into adulthood to sustain control and dependency.
• Refusing to allow you independence or resources to support yourself.
• Repeating cycles of threat, fear, and withdrawal of support.
• Refusing accountability, projecting responsibility onto you.
• Creating long-term emotional and cognitive patterns of trauma (e.g., DPDR, hypervigilance).

 

[Dot]

Wld u b willng t/ cpy & pste & also mke a recvry sectn versn of ths & slf wll ask mods 2 add 2 recvry mterials