Thought it would be easier

[Treeline589]

I know I've wrote about how hard it is to CTB. I thought it would be easier than this. You hear about how every 11 minutes someone kills themself. Why can't I just end it? I see these stories about how people CTB and I just get more jealous. There has to be a way to end it today, I don't want to have to go to work again tomorrow pretending that I am ok.

 

[Dot]

 

[FuneralCry]

I never knew how difficult ctb actually was until I started researching it. More than anything I wish it was easier to exit, if it was easier to leave I would already be gone. I would love to fall asleep and never wake again. I understand how you feel, I have also had enough of life.

 

[Darkover]

if it was easy to ctb everyone would be doing it, a slave to the system then you die.

 

[Rational man]

I also believe at the individual level, some people like me cannot be medically cured so i know how others have died. the same is coming to me unless i die suddenly. Faced with sickness, weakness, loss of dignity, controlled by the medics who cannot ethically assist me to die, the day Will arrive when i decide ive had enough. I have my plan worked out and i can leave this world of pain. I have no si because there is NOTHING.to survive. Why would i choose a painful, rotting stinking slow death?

 

[CommitSudoku]

Reading, "I don't want to have to go to work again tomorrow pretending that I am ok," is painful, I feel the same. I ended up drinking with lunch which I haven't in a long time and passed out and when I woke up a bit ago I've just had an awful nausea since thinking how close I am to having to start another week. I also can feel jealous hearing of the success of others, I'm happy for them but hate myself more. I'm not sure if you live alone or have a car, I dream of either and being able to flood said space with gas fumes and just fall asleep and die peacefully. I actually need to research more into these. Best of luck to you, I hope we can all have success in those endeavors most important to us sooner rather than later.