Those who have N are the luckiest people that exist.

[FuneralCry]

I think that those who have N are so lucky, they can just exit this world peacefully, having the option of a peaceful death right there is the best thing possible that exists and is the best possible situation to be in ever. (Especially those who can go to an euthanasia clinic) Those who managed to get N are so privleged, they have nothing to complain about anymore unlike people who struggle with finding ctb methods. Like when the time is right for them they can just go, and if they plan to ctb at a later date they will continue to exist knowing that they have their N, it must be such a relief.

Those who have N really should be grateful as in this world so many people have to struggle to find ways to leave and may attempt risky methods worrying about the chance of a method potentially going wrong or experiencing so much pain in their last moments. I envy those animals who are able to get N legally, it's just so unfair how they are allowed that option while we have to suffer, we live in such a cruel horrific world which tries to force people to stay here and make it as difficult as possible for us to die. Of course those who are against suicide and want to restrict peaceful methods are insane.

But those who have N have the burden of existence taken away from them, they have a proper choice, they can just choose to wake again without any pain. That is just so wonderful to me, as to die solves all problems, yet it's a struggle for so many people to get there. All of the easily accessible methods have risks and this is terrifying to me. The only comfort in the world is in the thought of being dead, being on this website just makes me envious of those who have a peaceful exit. But suicide websites should never need to exist, and it's terrible that they do. A peaceful exit from this life should be a human right without all the stigma and secrecy. People act like it's a sad thing when someone dies but in reality they are the lucky ones for escaping this life. If I was gone then I wouldn't even have to think about this anymore.

 

[jodes2]

People who are gone are the truly lucky ones. Even with N, life isn't necessarily peachy

 

[Sad_Sack]

I couldn't agree more. I am absolutely envious of anyone who is in possession of N. To no longer have the extra worry and stress of finding which painful or uncomfortable method to use is priceless unto itself. To have on hand a simple way to just drink a small drink and peacefully go to sleep in minutes would be wonderful.

 

[BipolarExpress]

I wish I had N, too. I have SN, but that takes a lot more work than just swallowing a bottle of N and dying peacefully. (I honestly wish I were able to sign up for medical aid in dying or assisted suicide, but it's not legal in my state, and no US state has assisted suicide for non-terminal illness. I wish I lived in Canada or the Netherlands. *sigh*)

 

[Altvtysp]

Yeah I wish I had some phenobarbital just to numb the fuck out with let alone doing a pleasant overdose. I'm too much of a coward to go through a painful death so unless I get enough strength to throw myself off a high ledge I guess trying to order it from Mexico or China is the best bet. Or if I could get fentanyl I would use that instead.

 

[ksp]

Of course those who are against suicide and want to restrict peaceful methods are insane.

curious to know if pro-lifers are against animal euthanasia, and why?

---

 

[BipolarExpress]

I know at least one pro-lifer (anti-abortion and anti-suicide) who's against animal euthanasia. (Ironically, this person also supports the death penalty.)

 

[ksp]

I'm too much of a coward

i think we should stop calling ourselves 'cowards'
you are trying to fight against 4 billions years of evolution - your chances are slim to none
(i intend to make a thread called 'why suicide is the most courageous act in life')

 

[Forever Sleep]

While I know we all crave for 'N' as the 'gold standard' and I can't help but feel a pang of envy when I hear someone has it, I don't think it's entirely fair to call them 'privileged.'

People who live their lives without feeling the need to obtain N may be the most 'privileged'. Although I suspect you may well be right in viewing them as 'delusional', they likely suffered less.

ANYONE who finds life so bad that they are willing to forcibly end it can't be having it 'easy'. Those who are accepted at assisted suicide clinics (the most guaranteed place of receiving N) 'possibly' have it the worst because even the 'proffessionals' agree that their lives are at the intolerable stage. Still, I do see your point that living somewhere with more progressive ideas would be more privileged in this regard.

However, those who obtain it themselves are taking an enormous risk. Although it may be easier to obtain in some countries, as far as I'm aware I think it's still illegal isn't it? Plus, there's the worry of not being scammed trying to get it in the first place or it being intercepted in the post. I guess there's an element of luck or 'privilege' if they receive their goods but the fact is- they paid a shit load of money and took a big risk and it either worked or it didn't- in which case- they are likely under greater scrutiny by the authorities. If it's confiscated, it's an illegal substance which I'm guessing possibly means a criminal record and possibly being committed involuntarily- maybe? I don't know but it wouldn't surprise me.

Sorry to sound aggressive. I guess I just remember what a friend asked me- whether I believed in luck or whether we make our own luck. Just mean to say- people who have obtained N personally didn't buy it at their local convenience store- no questions asked. They didn't get it prescribed from their local doctor. They took a big risk and hoped for the best. They then have to trust that it's the genuine article... They may be in a better position to obtain it but I'm sure it wasn't/ isn't easy.

Also, I hate to say it but animals don't ask for N. WE make the decision for them- sometimes I fully expect that it's financially motivated as well- think of all the un-adopted animals in shelters that get euthanized. Some of them likely are in terrible pain and would want to end it but some wouldn't. Really, when we kill animals, it is ALWAYS murder- because we haven't got their consent. In the majority of cases- yes- it's a 'mercy killing' but still... Also fully appreciate that you will argue that all life is bad because all life inevitably suffers but that isn't the view of ALL animals and ALL humans. Sometimes we take life because it suits us- whether the creature wants to live or not.

 

[Altvtysp]

i think we should stop calling ourselves 'cowards'
you are trying to fight against 4 billions years of evolution - your chances are slim to none
(i intend to make a thread called 'why suicide is the most courageous act in life')

I'm just really disappointed in myself for not being capable and getting it done. Yeah my first recent attempt was doomed to fail because it's a bogus way to CTB but this last one I really thought I was going to be successful. This isn't settled because I haven't done a method that will guarantee death but I'm not sure there are any besides like using a gun. I would go get a gun except I'm on a watch list for being previously hospitalized and I clearly have the appearance of someone who is actively trying to harm themselves. I dread what I'm going to be facing tonight and the next few days. Thanks again for the kind words they are really appreciated!

 

[Zegers]

People who live their lives without feeling the need to obtain N may be the most 'privileged'

For me luckiers are those who enjoy a good simulation and also those who leave without so much trouble. ctb is a draining, distressing, disquiet process.

 

[cattofiend]

I think of all those times I was working in veterinary surgeries and could so easily have gotten my hands on it. If only I knew back then what I'd need now.

 

[UnlimitedPain]

Once upon a time when I had dreams I was studying to be a vet even tho I never got close.

But I look back and think these days and think if only.

 

[damaged_soul]

I think of all those times I was working in veterinary surgeries and could so easily have gotten my hands on it. If only I knew back then what I'd need now.

Funny you mention that, I've seriously considered studying to become a vet just for the sole purpose of obtaining euthanasia drugs with which to kill myself. But becoming a vet would require a shit ton of work which I just don't have the motivation to do. Sigh

 

[Ta555]

Funny you mention that, I've seriously considered studying to become a vet just for the sole purpose of obtaining euthanasia drugs with which to kill myself. But becoming a vet would require a shit ton of work which I just don't have the motivation to do. Sigh

Vet nurse or tech maybe??

 

[aladdin]

You read my mind. The luckiest people to me are those who enjoy good physical/mental health till their final days.

 

[Pluto]

I committed to buying N from D during the NY Times fiasco that seemed to put this website in jeopardy, so credit belongs to them for giving me a push. It was expensive and risky but, like most people at that time, I didn't have any problems.

It is definitely peace of mind being empowered to leave when I need to. However, the sheer finality of the decision makes it difficult to commit, especially when I am routinely on an emotional rollercoaster alternating between hope and despair. So there has ended up plenty of suffering while I try and commit to one thing or another. But aside from that, this feels like a basic human right.

I previously bought SN when it was readily available from mainstream sources. It strikes me as pretty harsh the way suicide is now 'fixed' by blocking access to peaceful methods. A very strange way to purportedly make the world a better place. If I do attempt with my N, I have to do everything just right and shoot to kill, because it would be my only opportunity.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

if only i had a good veterinarian friend or something.

 

[FuneralCry]

curious to know if pro-lifers are against animal euthanasia, and why?

---

Some possibly could be and selfishly wish to prolong the suffering of animals until they die from natural causes, but it does seem to be the accepted view in society that it's the most compassionate thing to put our pets to sleep when they reach a very old age or an advanced stage of their illness to prevent future suffering.

And yet if a human was suffering in a low quality life these same people would be horrified at the thought of that person choosing to exit and would likely do everything to prevent it. This society is pro choice where it comes to animal euthanasia but not for humans and we are the ones who have the ability to choose to ctb after all. Where I live no human is allowed assisted suicide, it's completely illegal.

And yet many of these same people who are against legal assisted suicide would likely wish for N if they ended up with some horrific physical disease or something else that would make them wish to exit. This whole thing just irritates me how animals are allowed N and not us. Many people really are hypocritical in their attitudes.

 

[Silent.Tears]

I couldn't agree more. I can't describe in words the envy I feel when someone says they got N (I'm also happy for them tho). If I had N, I'd be drinking coffee, enjoying a great book rather than figuring out wtf I can use in this house for partial suspension. Things are very bad. :(

 

[ksp]

…die from natural causes

this mentality is incredibly hypocritical

this is the reason we don't have access to Nembutal

by that notion we should'n have medication, surgeries, doctors, or hospitals
i don't consider a heart transplant to be in any way 'natural'

so society dosn't respect the most basic human right bacause of contradictions

 

[damaged_soul]

Vet nurse or tech maybe??

That's a thought, but I wouldn't be able to support myself with such a low salary and my parents would be extremely disappointed in me

 

[Sunny-Pia]

Hmm...would they still be considered lucky if its few yrs past expiration?

 

[SamTam33]

It confuses me when people share that they have it but are holding on to it in case they get up the nerve or decide to use it one day.

It's like me saying I don't have any food and people replying that they have a double-stocked pantry just in case there are food shortages.

Me saying I need $300 to pay my car note and people replying that they have 5k under their mattress for a rainy day. Good for you?

I guess I haven't been around long enough to understand the purpose of saying you have something others want... But you have no immediate plans to use it.

 

[BipolarExpress]

It confuses me when people share that they have it but are holding on to it in case they get up the nerve or decide to use it one day.

It's like me saying I don't have any food and people replying that they have a double-stocked pantry just in case there are food shortages.

Me saying I need $300 to pay my car note and people replying that they have 5k under their mattress for a rainy day. Good for you?

I guess I haven't been around long enough to understand the purpose of saying you have something others want... But you have no immediate plans to use it.

I think some people just want bragging rights.

 

[Barteljaap]

I agree with Forever Sleep, the real lucky people are those who never seriously contemplate suicide and never have to go through this battle.

There is no point hating on other suicidal people. They still have to deal with SI. The fear of failure and fear of suffering might not be there with N, but they still have the fear of annihilation. Or else everyone who has N would be drinking it straight away and not posting about it more than just to say goodbye.

 

[hopeless302]

At this rate, I'm willing to accept some pain if it guarantees an end to my worthless life. I hate having to jump through hoops just to find peaceful and effective methods to CTB. Even finding out this freaking site existed was an ordeal because most mentions of it were censored in the articles I read.

 

[Alnilam]

I just wanted to go quietly, peacefully and painlessly. I'm dead set on ending it. The last thing I need on the list is SN, I happily would've settled for that now that I can afford everything but now even that is hard to come by--there's no way of getting in the US now, the only sites that advertise is are scammers. Too little too late I guess..

 

[Pluto]

It's like me saying I don't have any food and people replying that they have a double-stocked pantry just in case there are food shortages.

Me saying I need $300 to pay my car note and people replying that they have 5k under their mattress for a rainy day. Good for you?

Are you saying that people with N must all die immediately, or else give their stock away? The first problem with your analogy is that donating spare food is not the same as being a supplier of a death drug, and God only knows how many years I'd be imprisoned for. Secondly, the A$1,500 it cost is a lot of money for me, especially for something that isn't even readily available to replace it.

N is not a perfect solution. A former member failed in an attempt because she was overwhelmed by the taste. She had to purchase a second batch of N to try again with a modified method, this time successfully. May she rest in peace.

The availability of solutions will come and go. Right now, it's definitely a low point. Tomorrow could be different. If it were me, I would start researching a variety of alternatives like F.

There is no point hating on other suicidal people.

Thank you for saying this. It's hard to have perspective within an echo chamber. My life has been marked by torment, desperation and isolation. There are probably luckier people out there.

 

[Koppite]

I think that those who have N are so lucky, they can just exit this world peacefully, having the option of a peaceful death right there is the best thing possible that exists and is the best possible situation to be in ever. (Especially those who can go to an euthanasia clinic) Those who managed to get N are so privleged, they have nothing to complain about anymore unlike people who struggle with finding ctb methods. Like when the time is right for them they can just go, and if they plan to ctb at a later date they will continue to exist knowing that they have their N, it must be such a relief.

Those who have N really should be grateful as in this world so many people have to struggle to find ways to leave and may attempt risky methods worrying about the chance of a method potentially going wrong or experiencing so much pain in their last moments. I envy those animals who are able to get N legally, it's just so unfair how they are allowed that option while we have to suffer, we live in such a cruel horrific world which tries to force people to stay here and make it as difficult as possible for us to die. Of course those who are against suicide and want to restrict peaceful methods are insane.

But those who have N have the burden of existence taken away from them, they have a proper choice, they can just choose to wake again without any pain. That is just so wonderful to me, as to die solves all problems, yet it's a struggle for so many people to get there. All of the easily accessible methods have risks and this is terrifying to me. The only comfort in the world is in the thought of being dead, being on this website just makes me envious of those who have a peaceful exit. But suicide websites should never need to exist, and it's terrible that they do. A peaceful exit from this life should be a human right without all the stigma and secrecy. People act like it's a sad thing when someone dies but in reality they are the lucky ones for escaping this life. If I was gone then I wouldn't even have to think about this anymore.

It's not N, but I kick myself daily that I didn't buy powdered fentanyl/carfentanyl when it was still available from China.

The irony is that apparently Myanmar is an absolute treasure trove for Fentanyl and I'm in Thailand. But I don't know anyone in 'that world' over here and with my luck any overtures I made would get me sent to Thai prison, which, miserable as my life is, is markedly worse.