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O

offbalance

All I want is peace
Dec 16, 2021
208
How do you feel, and is there anything you plan to do in the weeks before you finally CTB?

Me, I don't have the energy to do much these days besides isolate. I kind of want to go nuts and hook up with a bunch of people and do a bunch of psychedelics, walk around nature and eat some good food but I don't have the energy or will.
I'll probably treat my CTB day itself like any other day, listening to some music. I don't know if I want to play music as I die because that might activate SI.

I feel oddly calm, excited and also still wondering what awaits on the other side. I've thought about CTB for too long to really feel much notable emotion about it really.
 
Last edited:
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Ww42

Ww42

Experienced
Feb 24, 2024
280
Im very excited to be gone. I plan on listening to my favorite music, and to lay in a grassy field and die under the sunset on a nice 60 degree day.
Im very excited to be gone. I plan on listening to my favorite music, and to lay in a grassy field and die under the sunset on a nice 60 degree day.
 
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DEATH IS FREEDOM

DEATH IS FREEDOM

Death is the solution to unsolvable problems.
Sep 13, 2023
607
I am in a state of panic and desperation. Chronic health problems make me desperate. Fear makes me panic. It is hard to write here. If I get desperate enough, I should dare to die. I wish I had never been born.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
1,786
How do you feel, and is there anything you plan to do in the weeks before you finally CTB?

Me, I don't have the energy to do much these days besides isolate. I kind of want to go nuts and hook up with a bunch of people and do a bunch of psychedelics, walk around nature and eat some good food but I don't have the energy or will.
I'll probably treat my CTB day itself like any other day, listening to some music. I don't know if I want to play music as I die because that might activate SI.

I feel oddly calm, excited and also still wondering what awaits on the other side. I've thought about CTB for too long to really feel much notable emotion about it really.
Similar in that I would love to live it up, but I'm just too tired. I'm trying to finish up a few things at work so I leave less of a mess but the motivation is waning. I'm still working out and trying to eat well because physical health is still very important to me (the irony). I have a trip planned in a few weeks which is the only reason I've made it this far. I'm considering that my big send-off to myself. I'll go enjoy it then come back and leave this Earth forever. I don't have any special plans for my ctb day but mostly because I don't live alone and don't want to rouse suspicion.

I keep going between resigned, exhausted, peaceful calm, and "Am I really doing this?" I keep trying to wrap my head around not being alive anymore. About the concept of "forever" after this life. It makes me dizzy. Never feel afraid though. I know whatever Death holds, it can't be worse than what life has for me.
 
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gantaigarashi

gantaigarashi

Wageslave
Aug 1, 2023
138
How do you feel, and is there anything you plan to do in the weeks before you finally CTB?

Me, I don't have the energy to do much these days besides isolate. I kind of want to go nuts and hook up with a bunch of people and do a bunch of psychedelics, walk around nature and eat some good food but I don't have the energy or will.
I'll probably treat my CTB day itself like any other day, listening to some music. I don't know if I want to play music as I die because that might activate SI.

I feel oddly calm, excited and also still wondering what awaits on the other side. I've thought about CTB for too long to really feel much notable emotion about it really.
I'm planning to CTB on 2nd week of June. I've taken PTO on 1st and 2nd week of June to go crazy with hookers since I'll be receiving year end bonus on the end of may. I'll spend almost all ny money fucking hookers.

Even now I'm doing just, that every week I'm going around and having sex with new escorts. I've always been an ugly loser guy with no social skills, so before i CTB I wanna have tons and tons of sex. Obviously not with regular women since I'm too repulsive lol.

Also I sometimes work out and strech so that sex can be easier.
 
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justcallmeJ

justcallmeJ

<3
Nov 9, 2023
418
Im planning to ctb tomorrow, i have done many things the past few weeks i liked, ate my favorite foods and just layed in bed with music mostly. But idk how i feel it all just feels weird but i think im ready. Mostly im worrying about what gonna after after death, its a big dive into the unknown ;(
 
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billie

billie

take me back to the night we met
Mar 31, 2024
623
Before I leave this world in a few weeks or months I still have to read a lot of books from my wish list
 
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etherealgoddess

etherealgoddess

perseverance is inevitable success
Dec 8, 2022
194
How do you feel, and is there anything you plan to do in the weeks before you finally CTB?

Me, I don't have the energy to do much these days besides isolate. I kind of want to go nuts and hook up with a bunch of people and do a bunch of psychedelics, walk around nature and eat some good food but I don't have the energy or will.
I'll probably treat my CTB day itself like any other day, listening to some music. I don't know if I want to play music as I die because that might activate SI.

I feel oddly calm, excited and also still wondering what awaits on the other side. I've thought about CTB for too long to really feel much notable emotion about it really.
I'm not really planning to CTB soon, but I'd say I definitely have problems with getting into depressive episodes. However, I'm having tons of fun hooking up with people and love it LOL
 
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lotus11

lotus11

Specialist
May 18, 2019
344
I mostly feel happy about it and relief
 
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