Discussion Those of you who have partners, do you talk to them about suicide?

[Pops]

If you do then how do you go about it? I can barely comprehend how to make this post on it let alone think about having any kind of conversation about it with my gf. I'd never leave this world if it meant leaving her alone but it doesn't mean I don't have feelings around the topic.

 

[WornOutLife]

I don't have a gf anymore but when I did, I told her all about my suicidal thoughts, depression and bipolar disorder.

She was very sad at first but she understood how I felt. Also, she suffered from depression so, that made things easier.

I guess I was lucky to have such a supportive partner but in the end, my love for loneliness won.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Nope.
Makes an difficult situation even more awkward.
Not fair on them. Did it in the past and didn't turn out well

 

[Carrotcake]

I do. I don't want to leave my partner suddenly or with questions. I want him to be prepared, so it will hopefully be less painful.

The starting point of these conversations have been talking about my depression and suffering. Explaining how at a certain point, I won't be able to handle it anymore. He expressed that he can see how much I am suffering, and that he understands that I can't keep doing this forever (although he still beliefs that there is a solution out there, that a happy ending is possible).

He appreciates me telling him about it. I still don't really know how much he wants to hear, so I drop like little bombs of information on him and see how he responds. Dropping the excited "omg I found poison that will give me a peaceful death"-bomb was a bit much. So I'm keeping to the forum for that kind of detailed stuff now, haha. But if he has questions I answer honestly.

 

[Pops]

I don't have a gf anymore but when I did, I told her all about my suicidal thoughts, depression and bipolar disorder.

She was very sad at first but she understood how I felt. Also, she suffered from depression so, that made things easier.

I guess I was lucky to have such a supportive partner but in the end, my love for loneliness won.

Yeah I'm bipolar too, she knows that and she supports me during depressive episodes. She also works with children who have severe mental health issues which feels like A) she'd either understand and know how to have the conversation better than me or B) it'd start feeling like work and put too much pressure on her. Idk, I think I'll suffer in silence for now. I'll hold out for a hypo phase instead lol.

I do. I don't want to leave my partner suddenly or with questions. I want him to be prepared, so it will hopefully be less painful.

The starting point of these conversations have been talking about my depression and suffering. Explaining how at a certain point, I won't be able to handle it anymore. He expressed that he can see how much I am suffering, and that he understands that I can't keep doing this forever (although he still beliefs that there is a solution out there, that a happy ending is possible).

He appreciates me telling him about it. I still don't really know how much he wants to hear, so I drop like little bombs of information on him and see how he responds. Dropping the excited "omg I found poison that will give me a peaceful death"-bomb was a bit much. So I'm keeping to the forum for that kind of detailed stuff now, haha. But if he has questions I answer honestly.

I'm glad I found the forum last night tbh (well, turns out I already had an account from years ago that I forgot about), it's nice knowing I can be open here. I was on the SS subreddit before it went down, then ran a few different discord servers for a couple years after but over time people either left or ctb'd. Good to know there's still a corner of the web for us to talk.

 

[Beautiful Angel]

I do usually say something I was in a relationship now I'm not I think it's the worst move to tell them they do not understand it the only place I was ever understood is on this site I actually get everybody on here

 

[Isisnefert]

Hago. No quiero dejar a mi pareja de repente o con preguntas. Quiero que esté preparado, así que espero que sea menos doloroso.

El punto de partida de estas conversaciones ha sido hablar de mi depresión y sufrimiento. Explicando cómo en un momento dado ya no podré manejarlo. Expresó que puede ver cuánto estoy sufriendo y que entiende que no puedo seguir haciendo esto para siempre (aunque todavía cree que hay una solución, que un final feliz es posible).

Me agradece que le cuente sobre eso. Todavía no sé realmente cuánto quiere escuchar, así que dejo caer como pequeñas bombas de información sobre él y veo cómo responde. Dejar caer el emocionado "Dios mío, encontré veneno que me dará una muerte en paz" -bomb fue un poco demasiado. Así que me quedo en el foro para ese tipo de cosas detalladas ahora, jaja. Pero si tiene preguntas, las respondo con sinceridad.

Same

 

[avenueofbrokendreams]

Well, if they have experience with mental illness in any form (loved ones, they have it themselves, etc), then its not too bad, though it is always frightening and saddening to some degree to hear these heartbreaking words from the mouth of someone you care for enough to dedicate yourself to. If they dont have any reference for these things, then I think it is not only hard for them to understand but it scary. So is anything new really, but this subject is sensitive as death is very permanent and humans have evolved to have that SI to be insurmountable (most of the time).

From personal experience, Ive dated both people who have no experience with depression or anxiety, and then some who very much did (even more than my severely depressed butt), yet all of them considered me to have too much baggage in the end. So if you do mention it, then perhaps dont dwell on it. Dont delve into details (unless they insist on knowing), and if its really bad, perhaps tell them in broad terms (e.g "My depression is really bad lately and I have thoughts of hurting myself that wont go away" versus "I keep picturing myself slitting my throat"). Maybe even tell them to let you know in case you ever unknowingly talk about it too much.

In a perfect world, your partner would be someone who, if they cannot understand what youre going through, would at least sympathize and be compassionate.

This is all just my two cents.

 

[Moose.000]

I do. But what I share is minimal. Never enough to raise an active suspicion. If and when the day does come I don't want to encounter interference because I shared too much information... If that makes sense

 

[smithy]

I am currently debating with myself about this topic.
On the one hand I think it's unfair to give that weight to someone else.
On the other... if my partner would be having these feelings I would want to know. It's a difficult topic.