J
Jolene79
Experienced
- Jun 16, 2023
- 205
I am in such turmoil with how fast I'm declining physically yet I am nowhere near knowing how I could end this situation. I came here naively thinking I would find out about taking some pills and then all done.
Now I think about what my poor family have to contend with not only because of my loss but because of the awful stigma. If I thought these hideous conditions would kill me I'd hold out but in the true horror of my situation I see complete incapacitation, humiliation and all that comes with this yet no death. I am already sensing people around me getting pissed off that I'm not just better already. If I had cancer they wouldn't do that. I prey for cancer. My pain and debilitation is so severe, no human could comprehend the sensations I am experiencing.
I wish I could make it look an accident to save my loved one. That leaves jumping and drowning which I won't be able to do. I think alot about taking lots of meds then jumping off a cliff. I don't think I could do it. This is so horrific. Does anyone ever get away with making it look an accident
Now I think about what my poor family have to contend with not only because of my loss but because of the awful stigma. If I thought these hideous conditions would kill me I'd hold out but in the true horror of my situation I see complete incapacitation, humiliation and all that comes with this yet no death. I am already sensing people around me getting pissed off that I'm not just better already. If I had cancer they wouldn't do that. I prey for cancer. My pain and debilitation is so severe, no human could comprehend the sensations I am experiencing.
I wish I could make it look an accident to save my loved one. That leaves jumping and drowning which I won't be able to do. I think alot about taking lots of meds then jumping off a cliff. I don't think I could do it. This is so horrific. Does anyone ever get away with making it look an accident