J

Jolene79

Experienced
Jun 16, 2023
205
I am in such turmoil with how fast I'm declining physically yet I am nowhere near knowing how I could end this situation. I came here naively thinking I would find out about taking some pills and then all done.
Now I think about what my poor family have to contend with not only because of my loss but because of the awful stigma. If I thought these hideous conditions would kill me I'd hold out but in the true horror of my situation I see complete incapacitation, humiliation and all that comes with this yet no death. I am already sensing people around me getting pissed off that I'm not just better already. If I had cancer they wouldn't do that. I prey for cancer. My pain and debilitation is so severe, no human could comprehend the sensations I am experiencing.

I wish I could make it look an accident to save my loved one. That leaves jumping and drowning which I won't be able to do. I think alot about taking lots of meds then jumping off a cliff. I don't think I could do it. This is so horrific. Does anyone ever get away with making it look an accident
 
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Kitana

Kitana

Member
Nov 16, 2022
10
Right now I'm just thinking about consuming poisonous plants like the taxus plant. Hope I can get my hands on this plant and then I hopefully can leave this world.
 
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J

Jolene79

Experienced
Jun 16, 2023
205
Right now I'm just thinking about consuming poisonous plants like the taxus plant. Hope I can get my hands on this plant and then I hopefully can leave this world.
I imagine that would be a horrible way to go. I have had a bowel perforation, sepsis from that and my large intestine removed from disease. Stuff to do with ingestion of poison would probably be a bit harder in my situation.
I see your method tho. I hope you have been able to research it so you don't suffer terribly ❤️
 
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hmskms

hmskms

trying to escape a world governed by sociopaths.
Jun 12, 2023
96
i am less than interested in making my death look more appealing to "people" i couldnt give two-and-a-half fucks about.

im fine with letting anyone clean up after me. whatever """"trauma"""" they inherit they deserve
 
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J

Jolene79

Experienced
Jun 16, 2023
205
i am less than interested in making my death look more appealing to "people" i couldnt give two-and-a-half fucks about.

im fine with letting anyone clean up after me. whatever """"trauma"""" they inherit they deserve
I can totally understand that feeling. I don't really care too much for the impact on others outside a special few and one incredibly important to me.
I hope whilst you are still around there is someone you feel gives a shit about you 🙏
 
HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
I don't care what my family thinks it is their fault anyway for treating me badly and letting me in this hell, I hate them, maybe they can grasp a little fraction of the pain I feel constantly when they see my corpse, those idiots don't care one bit how I feel but are scared of me ctb so dumb I hate them.

It seems hard to make it look like an accident, maybe you could write an goodbye letter so they can understand your reason?
i am less than interested in making my death look more appealing to "people" i couldnt give two-and-a-half fucks about.

im fine with letting anyone clean up after me. whatever """"trauma"""" they inherit they deserve
I can't understand how it could be traumatic to find a suicide corpse, in what dream world do happy people live that they find a corpse traumatizing?
 
Kitana

Kitana

Member
Nov 16, 2022
10
I imagine that would be a horrible way to go. I have had a bowel perforation, sepsis from that and my large intestine removed from disease. Stuff to do with ingestion of poison would probably be a bit harder in my situation.
I see your method tho. I hope you have been able to research it so you don't suffer terribly ❤️
Thank you for that information ❤️ its honestly hard to get alot of information I just know people died from that plant.

It was a chosen method for me because it's something to obtain easily in my country
 
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