This year will be my last try

[Mbound]

Does anyone else have a plan like this? Now that I am in the process of purchasing the N, (and if that doesn't pan out I guess SN will have to do) I feel like I can finally breathe and put some finality behind my goals.

The truth is that I know my wonderful, loving parents will be completely and irreparably destroyed if/when I ctb, so I owe it to them to give it one last chance. But I don't feel trapped like I did before discovering this site and the PPH, what I mainly feel right now is empowered and not like a passive player in my own life anymore, which is how I've felt for pretty much forever. The hopelessness is tempered by me taking substantive action to decide my own fate, even if it's in a form most people would consider anything but positive. I don't have any expectations at this point. I'll try my best and if I fail then I fail. But if and when I write that note and say I tried everything I need it to be true.

If it weren't for them I'd be gone, I'd have probably looked into all this seriously a long, long time ago. I know I would have. Does anyone else plan on sticking around for a year or more?

 

[No_more]

I've gone on an extreme diet like an anorexic to ctb. It might take more than a year. I can't die yet as I want to look after my animals but I'm dieting now to start the process.

 

[Mbound]

I've gone on an extreme diet like an anorexic to ctb. It might take more than a year. I can't die yet as I want to look after my animals but I'm dieting now to start the process.

Leaving my animals will be incredibly difficult for me. At least I know they have someone else who will love and take care of them. :(

Are you already thin? I think dying from anorexia can take years and years. I mean, look at Eugenia cooney. She's been deathly thin for like over 5 years.

 

[No_more]

I can't leave my animals. Theres no guarantee someone will look after them. Starvation is the only form of suicide that appeals to me. All the other methods seem to gruesome or difficult . I'm overweight at the moment but before this I was underweight. I'm going to keep trying.

 

[Jen Erik]

Does anyone else plan on sticking around for a year or more?

I don't know what I am waiting for, because I feel ctb is inevitable for me absent some massive change in my financial outlook for the future. Living in poverty is not acceptable to me, and that's where I am heading right now. But I feel like I've given myself a year, at most, to get going.

 

[Empty Smile]

The starvation method should not take no more than at least 6 to 8 months. The biggest mistake people make when going this route, is they drink water, or another liquid. Just a few sips can make you live a day or two longer.

Eugenia cooney. She's been deathly thin for like over 5 years.

I'm not sure who this is, but if she hasn't eaten that long and is still living, there is something keeping her alive.

Voluntary Stop Eating and Drinking(VSED) is the only legal form of suicide in the US, as nobody can force you to eat or drink, this includes doctors (unless the court has ordered them to feed you through needle).

I had considered this method, but have not ever put it in motion.

 

[Mbound]

The starvation method should not take no more than at least 6 to 8 months. The biggest mistake people make when going this route, is they drink water, or another liquid. Just a few sips can make you live a day or two longer.

Eugenia cooney. She's been deathly thin for like over 5 years.

I'm not sure who this is, but if she hasn't eaten that long and is still living, there is something keeping her alive.

Voluntary Stop Eating and Drinking(VSED) is the only legal form of suicide in the US, as nobody can force you to eat or drink, this includes doctors (unless the court has ordered them to feed you through needle).

I had considered this method, but have not ever put it in motion.

When I hear starvation i didn't think eating literally nothing, more like under 200 calories a day. 6-8 mos of eating literally nothing sounds like the worst form of torture to me. And I'm pretty sure they do use feeding tubes on people who do this fairly often. Eugenia prob has been living off under 400 calories a day for 5+ years.

You would die if you had no water for like a week though. That seems a lot faster, but just as terrible. Idk it just seems like a really drawn out and painful way to go.

 

[Tally]

Does anyone else have a plan like this? Now that I am in the process of purchasing the N, (and if that doesn't pan out I guess SN will have to do) I feel like I can finally breathe and put some finality behind my goals.

The truth is that I know my wonderful, loving parents will be completely and irreparably destroyed if/when I ctb, so I owe it to them to give it one last chance. But I don't feel trapped like I did before discovering this site and the PPH, what I mainly feel right now is empowered and not like a passive player in my own life anymore, which is how I've felt for pretty much forever. The hopelessness is tempered by me taking substantive action to decide my own fate, even if it's in a form most people would consider anything but positive. I don't have any expectations at this point. I'll try my best and if I fail then I fail. But if and when I write that note and say I tried everything I need it to be true.

If it weren't for them I'd be gone, I'd have probably looked into all this seriously a long, long time ago. I know I would have. Does anyone else plan on sticking around for a year or more?

I like your attitude of giving it one more go in your eyes. As I have said in a previous post, my family are well aware of my life of extreme hardship, and I am fortunate to be able to talk to them about this. I know that they will be so hurt if I go, but at the same time, they know I would be at piece.

I have decided to put a time limit on life, and If I feel no different by then, then can leave. They will know this, and know that in this time, both them and me, have done everything to change things. I have my method of dying, and am both comfortable with the method, and dying. Death really holds no fear form, and actually it is the only thing in life that I feel positive and happy about.

Good luck with however you use your one last try !!!!!!

 

[Alec]

Does anyone else have a plan like this? Now that I am in the process of purchasing the N, (and if that doesn't pan out I guess SN will have to do) I feel like I can finally breathe and put some finality behind my goals.

The truth is that I know my wonderful, loving parents will be completely and irreparably destroyed if/when I ctb, so I owe it to them to give it one last chance. But I don't feel trapped like I did before discovering this site and the PPH, what I mainly feel right now is empowered and not like a passive player in my own life anymore, which is how I've felt for pretty much forever. The hopelessness is tempered by me taking substantive action to decide my own fate, even if it's in a form most people would consider anything but positive. I don't have any expectations at this point. I'll try my best and if I fail then I fail. But if and when I write that note and say I tried everything I need it to be true.

If it weren't for them I'd be gone, I'd have probably looked into all this seriously a long, long time ago. I know I would have. Does anyone else plan on sticking around for a year or more?

I'm giving it a last chance as well. And coincidentally I'm planning to give it only one year and no more. And I totally get how you feel!

 

[JadedGray]

I plan on dying within the next year, no later than spring 2020. I don't want to still be here by next summer. I didn't want to be here this summer, but things didn't work out. At least I have plenty of time to plan and prep before I CTB. I don't expect anything to change this final year, but I'm trying to improve my physical health so at least it's easier to get through the days in the meantime. If not, then I'll try to get everything to CTB sometime this year.