Venting This world is just cruel and unfair

[Sweet_Lullaby]

Just had a little episode that left me a bit more heart broken and pissed about this world.
I was just starting my work shift (I run a small cafe) when I had an old lady coming in. She was shaking and barely standing on her feet. Asked her what was wrong, if she needed an ambulance or something. But no, she just told me she was hungry, that she hadn't eaten in almost three days. I made her a few sandwiches, wrapped some pastries, prepared a big coffee with milk. She was so relieved and thankful. She told me she had been asking people for food, not money, but no one reached for her. She told me she asked one woman for food, and that the woman gave her a rock. One fucking rock...
What. The. Fuck. I wish I could find that despicable woman and throw the rock at her face..

 

[oopswronglife]

You are a good person. For me it's quite easy to determine that...when faced with suffering as you were, what do you do? Do you help or at least TRY to help? Or you immediately blame or make excuses or otherwise try to make it less or invalid and get angry at the victim? You chose well.

It's very hard to grow up and learn that MOST people don't care about others at all. It's not to say they are all wicked movie villains or something, those people do exist (rock lady sounds like one as that's just evil) though are not the norm. It's just that pervasive narcissism is the default and most move through life never really understanding that it's not just about them and that other people feel and need just as much as they do. They choose what makes them feel better or more satisfied over what is right and what is good most all of the time. It's easier to deny this when you life is sort of normal and you can live and distract and not need to count on people so directly. Becoming someone in need is a real awakening. It proves what people are...how they act when the pressure is on and when faced with suffering and they CHOOSE themselves at the expense of the victim or life in need. Immense effort goes into justifying this instead of just helping and making the world better.

I have been very fortunate to know a handful of people in my life who were caring and good. If not for them I'd probably be entirely convinced humanity was just horrible as a thing completely. I am not sure knowing it's a choice makes me feel any better because that just makes me long for what could be. I've tried to model myself after the good people I have known. I fall short often as most do, I am not sure how they were so good so much of the time honestly, but seeing how most people simply do not care and will choose to hurt or step over you if it makes them feel safer or better is just soul crushing.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

One fucking rock...

Wow. Seriously, wow. Don't know what to say. Some people really are *****. She's lucky she came into your cafe.

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

You are a good person. For me it's quite easy to determine that...when faced with suffering as you were, what do you do? Do you help or at least TRY to help? Or you immediately blame or make excuses or otherwise try to make it less or invalid and get angry at the victim? You chose well.

It's very hard to grow up and learn that MOST people don't care about others at all. It's not to say they are all wicked movie villains or something, but just that narcissism is the default and most move through life never really understanding that it's not just about them and that other people feel and need just as much as they do. They choose what makes them feel better or more satisfied over what is right and what is good most all of the time. It's easier to deny this when you life is sort of normal and you can live and distract and not need to count on people so directly. Becoming someone in need is a real awakening. It proves what people are...how they act when the pressure is on and when faced with suffering and they CHOOSE themselves at the expense of the victim or life in need. Immense effort goes into justifying this instead of just helping and making the world better.

I have been very fortunate to know a handful of people in my life who were caring and good. If not for them I'd probably be entirely convinced humanity was just horrible as a thing completely. I am not sure knowing it's a choice makes me feel any better because that just makes me long for what could be. I've tried to model myself after the good people I have known. I fall short often as most do, I am not sure how they were so good so much of the time honestly, but seeing how most people simply do not care and will choose to hurt or step over you if it makes them feel safer or better is just soul crushing.

Amazing choice of words. I agree 100% with you.
It's just so sickening the way some people behave. We don't know what the future holds. Today our lives can be alright, but with a few mistakes along the way, it can all change.
Small gestures go a long way. I'm not saying we can help everyone, but if we at least do something for the ones we can reach, it's a good starting point.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I posted this elsewhere but kinda on-topic so...
I once got locked up in a 'unit' a sort of waiting area before going onto a ward. It was okay but a jolt to have you freedom taken away and my physical condition worsened.
When they let me out, I got a taxi back home. I had no food in and was in no fit state to get any as I was pretty distraught.
My taxi driver walked me up the drive and came in and made me a cup of tea. He gave me his lunch. I burst into tears. I was so grateful. I could eat and be okay at least for one night until maybe I could get in touch with my brother. And that was only one meal. One little act of kindness that may have helped me continue.

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

I posted this elsewhere but kinda on-topic so...
I once got locked up in a 'unit' a sort of waiting area before going onto a ward. It was okay but a jolt to have you freedom taken away and my physical condition worsened.
When they let me out, I got a taxi back home. I had no food in and was in no fit state to get any as I was pretty distraught.
My taxi driver walked me up the drive and came in and made me a cup of tea. He gave me his lunch. I burst into tears. I was so grateful. I could eat and be okay at least for one night until maybe I could get in touch with my brother. And that was only one meal. One little act of kindness that may have helped me continue.

What a great man that taxi driver is. It may have been a small gesture for him, but it meant the world to you. How long ago was that? Are you in a better place now?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I saw alot of messed up stuff when I used to manage convenience stores. I had a guy take a huge fall out front one time and he was bleeding pretty bad from his head. As I was calling 911 for this poor gentleman there were people literally stepping over him to enter the store. I told them to get the fuck out and that I wouldn't sell them anything until the rescue squad came to help him.

Most people genuinely suck. But there are a few good ones still out there. Try not to lose too much faith in humanity.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

What a great man that taxi driver is. It may have been a small gesture for him, but it meant the world to you. How long ago was that? Are you in a better place now?

I was so touched, truly. Never forget that. it was just under a year ago.
No I'm actually in a worse place now, physically and well, yeah actually the physical place I'm in is worse in many ways lol. Weirdly, I'm sort of doing better emotionally as long as the shrink stays away from me. But I'm weird. Push me and I fight back harder, at least up up to a point. It's a bit fragile though. Thanks for asking. What brought you to this strange place?

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

I was so touched, truly. Never forget that. it was just under a year ago.
No I'm actually in a worse place now, physically and well, yeah actually the physical place I'm in is worse in many ways lol. Weirdly, I'm sort of doing better emotionally as long as the shrink stays away from me. But I'm weird. Push me and I fight back harder, at least up up to a point. It's a bit fragile though. Thanks for asking. What brought you to this strange place?

I'm sorry to hear that. What do you mean by worse physically? Is it something you can change, or are you talking about irreversible damage? I hope there's something you can do about it. You said that mentally you are in a better place right now, so I wish you can find the streght to get better physically

I stumbled upon the forum when searching Google for ways to CBT. I'm 95% sure I'm going through another depression episode, and this forum seems like a a comforting place to be, without judgements when it comes to suicide. Some people aren't cut for this world, I guess I'm just one of them

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm sorry to hear that. What do you mean by worse physically? Is it something you can change, or are you talking about irreversible damage? I hope there's something you can do about it. You said that mentally you are in a better place right now, so I wish you can find the streght to get better physically

I stumbled upon the forum when searching Google for ways to CBT. I'm 95% sure I'm going through another depression episode, and this forum seems like a a comforting place to be, without judgements when it comes to suicide. Some people aren't cut for this world, I guess I'm just one of them

It appears to be nothing I can change. Despite that I'm still trying. I'm like the Duracell Bunny, me Just stubborn I guess. But I'm not invincible and I have my limit.
Depression is awful, lived with it all my life. You can't cure it and have to accept it into yourself and come to terms with it. I kind of did by the age of around 40 but by that time my coping mechanism (booze) had destroyed my health. Ironic.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Just had a little episode that left me a bit more heart broken and pissed about this world.
I was just starting my work shift (I run a small cafe) when I had an old lady coming in. She was shaking and barely standing on her feet. Asked her what was wrong, if she needed an ambulance or something. But no, she just told me she was hungry, that she hadn't eaten in almost three days. I made her a few sandwiches, wrapped some pastries, prepared a big coffee with milk. She was so relieved and thankful. She told me she had been asking people for food, not money, but no one reached for her. She told me she asked one woman for food, and that the woman gave her a rock. One fucking rock...
What. The. Fuck. I wish I could find that despicable woman and throw the rock at her face..

What a kind thing to do, bless you brother. Its a shame that the kind people of the world like you don't have more means to help and those that have the means don't have the capacity to be kind.
Respect brother.
DBD

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

It appears to be nothing I can change. Despite that I'm still trying. I'm like the Duracell Bunny, me Just stubborn I guess. But I'm not invincible and I have my limit.
Depression is awful, lived with it all my life. You can't cure it and have to accept it into yourself and come to terms with it. I kind of did by the age of around 40 but by that time my coping mechanism (booze) had destroyed my health. Ironic.

Booze and drugs aren't the best coping mechanism, but they sure seem to help escaping reality. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to chat or vent. Can't promise to answer right away, but you won't be ignored.
All the best!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Booze and drugs aren't the best coping mechanism, but they sure seem to help escaping reality. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to chat or vent. Can't promise to answer right away, but you won't be ignored.
All the best!

I appreciate the thought and the same goes to you.

 

[TAW122]

I agree with you, the world sucks and it's cruel. People like to "act" like they care, but in reality, their actions show otherwise. It's really easy for people to say "I care" (without sincerity) and then do nothing (or very little) to help the people who want to survive and those that wish to live. I call those people virtue signalers, basically padding their own egos and having the society (masses) give them validation rather than make a real difference. I felt the same anger too, though I would refrain from doing that mostly because I don't want to get into (legal) trouble.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Some people aren't cut for this world, I guess I'm just one of them

I'm sure that the woman you helped out with the food would disagree with this. I don't know if it will help or not, but maybe you could remind yourself of that every time you feel like you don't belong in this world, unless your health becomes so bad that life is unbearable, then do what you need to take care of yourself. It would suck if you ctb too soon because then there would be one less good person in the world, when thousands of assholes are being born every day.

 

[Final Escape]

Omg! That is so fucked up. See how well these government safety nets work? If anyone is expecting the government to care for u in old age this is why u should really have an alternative like either raising kids who will be around for u or being able to save for your retirement, or have a good ctb method ready for when u cannot survive independently anymore. If u raise your kids right they will take care of u in old age. Many parents at least these days were not so good to their kids and that's one reason their kids don't want to help them in old age. The state run schools tend to ruin the loyalty of children to their parents because u spend a huge amount of time around other unrelated adults and kids and so your loyalty to your parents can be lessened but this is precisely what the rulers want. For kids to think of the government as what u are loyal to not your parents.

 

[BlackPoppet]

Just had a little episode that left me a bit more heart broken and pissed about this world.
I was just starting my work shift (I run a small cafe) when I had an old lady coming in. She was shaking and barely standing on her feet. Asked her what was wrong, if she needed an ambulance or something. But no, she just told me she was hungry, that she hadn't eaten in almost three days. I made her a few sandwiches, wrapped some pastries, prepared a big coffee with milk. She was so relieved and thankful. She told me she had been asking people for food, not money, but no one reached for her. She told me she asked one woman for food, and that the woman gave her a rock. One fucking rock...
What. The. Fuck. I wish I could find that despicable woman and throw the rock at her face..

that was a very sweet gesture! You are a decent person. Bless your heart!