Venting This is pushing me to the edge

[mentalhealthfighter]

I was dealing okay with depression. I got lithium and it helped with suicidal thoughts. I would read all day and that would make me feel productive. But now, due to benzo usage I also developed insomnia. I can't even read anymore because I'm too tired. I think this is just the end for me, I can't deal with both depression and insomnia because they strengthen eachother. Anhedonia is so strong now that all I do is lay in bed with mental pain. I dont know what to do anymore. Should I wait it out and see if my sleep improves? I've always been a very solid sleeper. Because right now I just feel like preparing my CTB or euthanasia.

 

[bed]

If you're unsure, i'd wait it out, especially if this is an emotional response rather than a logical one.

 

[AntHydra]

Since you know exactly what the issue is (insomnia), I believe you should try to work that out for a while longer. It might be worth it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is your decision. You have the right to exit this world at a time of your choosing. I understand it is hard to carry on when you have reached your limit. At least you have the option of euthanasia though. I wish I could have that. I'm sorry you are suffering, insomnia really is an awful thing. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[toforigivelife]

I was dealing okay with depression. I got lithium and it helped with suicidal thoughts. I would read all day and that would make me feel productive. But now, due to benzo usage I also developed insomnia. I can't even read anymore because I'm too tired. I think this is just the end for me, I can't deal with both depression and insomnia because they strengthen eachother. Anhedonia is so strong now that all I do is lay in bed with mental pain. I dont know what to do anymore. Should I wait it out and see if my sleep improves? I've always been a very solid sleeper. Because right now I just feel like preparing my CTB or euthanasia.

I'm sorry to ask such an obvious question, but have you spoken to your doctor about your insomnia?

Being exhausted and not being able to sleep - that is hell to deal with. I don't blame you for feeling the way that do.

But if the lithium was helping and if your doctor, a healthcare professional, a change in lifestyle, meditation, medication or therapy can help you with your insomnia then another solution is worth looking into before you make your final decision.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I'm sorry to ask such an obvious question, but have you spoken to your doctor about your insomnia?

Being exhausted and not being able to sleep - that is hell to deal with. I don't blame you for feeling the way that do.

But if the lithium was helping and if your doctor, a healthcare professional, a change in lifestyle, meditation, medication or therapy can help you with your insomnia then another solution is worth looking into before you make your final decision.

Yeah, I will get back to taking benzos so I can sleep for now. Youre right, I have to work this out before I move on to more drastic measures

 

[toforigivelife]

Yeah, I will get back to taking benzos so I can sleep for now. Youre right, I have to work this out before I move on to more drastic measures

Are you dealing with benzo addiction? Is that why you stopped taking them?

A few years ago I had a benzo addiction and went through the withdrawal process.

Any former addict will tell you that giving up booze or heroin is easy compared to the hell of benzo addiction and the withdrawal that comes with giving up benzos.

It's horrible.

If that's the case, if you are dealing with benzo withdrawal, then the tapering method is the best - and only - route to go.

Take what you need to feel better and get some rest.

Do this for maybe a week.

Once you feel rested and more comfortable start tapering. Take a little less of your normal benzo dosage.

Take this smaller dosage for a week or few days.

Then, if you feel like you can handle it, take a less than that reduced dosage.

And then keep doing that. Get used to the smaller dosage and then cut back a bit.

This is the way it's done and it's effective.

I don't know if you're addicted to benzos but if you have horrible insomnia due to benzo withdrawal then please do yourself a favor and taper instead of going cold turkey.

There is methadone for opiate and heroin addiction, medication for alcohol addiction but there is nothing for benzo addiction. There's no therapeutic replace drug for benzos.

Going cold turkey with benzos just doesn't work, tapering is really the only option.

 

[meetapple]

You mentioned in a previous thread that you were trying to get off of antipsychotics. Did you stop taking your antipsychotics? If so, that could be causing the insomnia.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

You mentioned in a previous thread that you were trying to get off of antipsychotics. Did you stop taking your antipsychotics? If so, that could be causing the insomnia.

No, I still take them.

Are you dealing with benzo addiction? Is that why you stopped taking them?

A few years ago I had a benzo addiction and went through the withdrawal process.

Any former addict will tell you that giving up booze or heroin is easy compared to the hell of benzo addiction and the withdrawal that comes with giving up benzos.

It's horrible.

If that's the case, if you are dealing with benzo withdrawal, then the tapering method is the best - and only - route to go.

Take what you need to feel better and get some rest.

Do this for maybe a week.

Once you feel rested and more comfortable start tapering. Take a little less of your normal benzo dosage.

Take this smaller dosage for a week or few days.

Then, if you feel like you can handle it, take a less than that reduced dosage.

And then keep doing that. Get used to the smaller dosage and then cut back a bit.

This is the way it's done and it's effective.

I don't know if you're addicted to benzos but if you have horrible insomnia due to benzo withdrawal then please do yourself a favor and taper instead of going cold turkey.

There is methadone for opiate and heroin addiction, medication for alcohol addiction but there is nothing for benzo addiction. There's no therapeutic replace drug for benzos.

Going cold turkey with benzos just doesn't work, tapering is really the only option.

Yeah that's what I'm doing. I tapered off to 0,25g to 0 and it caused the Insomnia. Now I'm taking 0,5g and will be doing that for a while.

 

[toforigivelife]

No, I still take them.

Yeah that's what I'm doing. I tapered off to 0,25g to 0 and it caused the Insomnia. Now I'm taking 0,5g and will be doing that for a while.

Good. Take your time. Start tapering when you're ready, set your own schedule and go as slowly as possible. I truly wish you the best.

 

[FutureNoomp]

There are all sorts of treatments for insomnia. Search them and wait it out.

 

[BobMorane]

why do you stop taking benzos, specially this small amount (0,25mg) if you plan to ctb anyway ?