This is gonna suck lol

[openBottomJeans]

No booze, no weed … just straight ctb via drowning. My SI is in high gear right now. I keep putting , and putting it off. Down to my last couple bucks , almost outta cigarettes, it might be time here soon

 

[fedup1982]

Drowning is not a good way to go at all, but then again, what is that is readily available? F life kill me

 

[amerie]

Drowning is not a good way to go at all, but then again, what is that is readily available? F life kill me

Yeah, if you survive the brain damage might be horrendous.

 

[openBottomJeans]

Drowning is not a good way to go at all, but then again, what is that is readily available? F life kill me

yep, it's the only option I got left

Yeah, if you survive the brain damage might be horrendous.

I don't plan on surviving. Not this time

 

[TransTaxEvader]

how do you plan to accomplish this?

 

[openBottomJeans]

how do you plan to accomish this?

Just pure will power and hope. Hope that I am strong enough to pull off the greatest challenge of my life.

I can't swim anyways, so unless my SI can forcibly make me swim , I think it's a sealed deal

 

[ankawannadie]

I hope you find peace.

 

[FishRain3469]

Ahh Fck, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I'd Have to be as drunkk and high as possible to even attempt a drowning. The SI must be Absolutely off the wall...

Thoughts and Prayers to you in Whatever may happen, Godspeed. ♥

 

[openBottomJeans]

I hope you find peace.

Thank you, friend

Ahh Fck, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I'd Have to be as drunkk and high as possible to even attempt a drowning. The SI must be Absolutely off the wall...

Thoughts and Prayers to you in Whatever may happen, Godspeed. ♥

Thank you friend. I wish I could enter the water drunk. I really do. But as soon as I hit the water I sober up. .. maybe it's worth a shot anyway

 

[DeadSouls]

Thank you, friend

Thank you friend. I wish I could enter the water drunk. I really do. But as soon as I hit the water I sober up. .. maybe it's worth a shot anyway

Definitely. AND high if you have the means. Anything to make it easier. Xoxox

 

[Nemaki Arber]

Hope you find peace, i unfortunately know how to swim or id consider this option too..

 

[openBottomJeans]

Definitely. AND high if you have the means. Anything to make it easier. Xoxox

I remember my second attempt, I was going to do just that.

I got super stoned, ended up having a panic attack on the way to go do it, ended up turning around. So if anything I think I will try drinking.
I've built quite the tolerance to it, so maybe I can get close to lethality b02 levels

Hope you find peace, i unfortunately know how to swim or id consider this option too..

Not knowing how to swim is what really pushed me to this option. I debated the charcoal, or SN method. Just never could find the right ingredients. So, water is what it became

 

[KimDokja]

Hope you find the peace you're looking for, my friend.

 

[openBottomJeans]

Hope you find the peace you're looking for, my friend.

Thank you. you have a kind soul

 

[brokenspirited]

May you find the relief you seek. Best wishes.

 

[TooManyChances]

I considered this method TWICE and both times, the SI was absolutely insane. The first time, I got to the coast, but I was beyond scared. Like nothing else when I saw the waves crashing against the rocks at night. The second time, I was driving and I had to turn around, my mind couldn't take it. I realized, drowning was not an option for me unless it was a river or some pacific shit like that (I still doubt I can do it).

Also, I had a deodorant can and a towel to make me pass out quickly, I still couldn't do it. Drowning is extremely reliable method because it's easy to access and works in half the cases, but the SI isn't worth it my friend. If you haven't looked into other methods, maybe it would be wiser to do so. Wish you the best.

 

[Ambien addict]

I am considering this, too. I can't go anywhere. There is a pool in my yard. Want to od on a bunch of pills, (I have before) and fall unconscious in pool. Wonder if it would work/ was so unconscious last 3 od's didn't wake up for days. would it work if I put meds by side of pool...took them all, passed out? I am afraid of going in pool first...everything BURNS my skin because of drug withdrawals. Have to take a pill to even shower!

 

[CatLvr]

My hairdresser years ago actually accidentally killed herself by being drunk and in the pool at her apartment complex. At least they deemed it an accident because she didn't leave a note and she hadn't said anything to anyone indicating she was "in crisis" as they say.

The girls she worked with said she had had a slamming day (did the hairdos for an entire wedding party) and said she was gonna go home and relax. Someone at the complex found her the next morning. ME said she apparently got drunk, passed out and slid into the pool and drowned. Her glass (I think it was vodka and water, which was probably ice at some point) was sitting at the edge of the pool. I don't recall if any drugs were involved but I do think she was on something for anxiety so it wouldn't surprise me if she had those in her system also.

 

[hippiedeath]

I got so drunk last night, I was lying on my back in my front yard completely unable to stand up. I assume that if I was in water at the same level of intoxication, I might drown. I was sipping on rum out of the bottle all night.

 

[openBottomJeans]

May you find the relief you seek. Best wishes.

Thank you tormentedhusk :)

I considered this method TWICE and both times, the SI was absolutely insane. The first time, I got to the coast, but I was beyond scared. Like nothing else when I saw the waves crashing against the rocks at night. The second time, I was driving and I had to turn around, my mind couldn't take it. I realized, drowning was not an option for me unless it was a river or some pacific shit like that (I still doubt I can do it).

Also, I had a deodorant can and a towel to make me pass out quickly, I still couldn't do it. Drowning is extremely reliable method because it's easy to access and works in half the cases, but the SI isn't worth it my friend. If you haven't looked into other methods, maybe it would be wiser to do so. Wish you the best.

Gosh that sounds scary. Maybe I'll do more research into the deodorant can thing.

I've researched other methods, particularly the tent method. However I was never able to find the right tent for the job. Everything else would've been fine.
For me I think drowning is the best case scenario. Yes it's going to be super scary .. but what isn't anymore ? This world sucks.

My hairdresser years ago actually accidentally killed herself by being drunk and in the pool at her apartment complex. At least they deemed it an accident because she didn't leave a note and she hadn't said anything to anyone indicating she was "in crisis" as they say.

The girls she worked with said she had had a slamming day (did the hairdos for an entire wedding party) and said she was gonna go home and relax. Someone at the complex found her the next morning. ME said she apparently got drunk, passed out and slid into the pool and drowned. Her glass (I think it was vodka and water, which was probably ice at some point) was sitting at the edge of the pool. I don't recall if any drugs were involved but I do think she was on something for anxiety so it wouldn't surprise me if she had those in her system also.

There were times when I was staying at hotels where I definitely had the opportunity to do this sort of thing.
I just didn't want to risk getting found out, kicked out, and drunker than a skunk on the street lol.
If I could make this look like an accident I most certainly will , I'm just not sure it'll be deemed as one, given my track history lol

I got so drunk last night, I was lying on my back in my front yard completely unable to stand up. I assume that if I was in water at the same level of intoxication, I might drown. I was sipping on rum out of the bottle all night.

That was me 3 nights ago. Bourbon did me in pretty well. Maybe I'll try again for tonight.
I think if I could get my tolerance up and consume enough alcohol the water might not sober me up

 

[CatLvr]

There were times when I was staying at hotels where I definitely had the opportunity to do this sort of thing.
I just didn't want to risk getting found out, kicked out, and drunker than a skunk on the street lol.
If I could make this look like an accident I most certainly will , I'm just not sure it'll be deemed as one, given my track history lol

Bless your heart. I used to work in the "hospitality industry" and someone like was my biggest fear. I would have spent the rest of my life wondering what I could have done to prevent that.

I kinda look (and act, I guess ) like everybody's mom and I cannot tell you how many times some random guy would come up to the front dest and next thing I know I would be hearing their life's story. Lol I made a few friends that way over the years. I did have one guy come back in the next night and tell me thank you. When I asked him what for he said I had stopped what I was doing and spoke to him. He was on his way to his truck to get his gun. I'm not gonna lie -- I lost a few tears while we talking after he told me that. I have no idea where he is now, but I hope he is happy. He seemed like such a solid guy. But the world was dumping on him like crazy. I guess you can sympathize with him, too, huh??

However and whatever happens, I hope your journey is painless and you find the peace you seek. The world just is not a kind place. If you want to talk, my PMs are open. Be gentle with yourself -- just because the world is mean to you doesn't mean you have to be mean to yourself.

 

[openBottomJeans]

Bless your heart. I used to work in the "hospitality industry" and someone like was my biggest fear. I would have spent the rest of my life wondering what I could have done to prevent that.

I kinda look (and act, I guess ) like everybody's mom and I cannot tell you how many times some random guy would come up to the front dest and next thing I know I would be hearing their life's story. Lol I made a few friends that way over the years. I did have one guy come back in the next night and tell me thank you. When I asked him what for he said I had stopped what I was doing and spoke to him. He was on his way to his truck to get his gun. I'm not gonna lie -- I lost a few tears while we talking after he told me that. I have no idea where he is now, but I hope he is happy. He seemed like such a solid guy. But the world was dumping on him like crazy. I guess you can sympathize with him, too, huh??

However and whatever happens, I hope your journey is painless and you find the peace you seek. The world just is not a kind place. If you want to talk, my PMs are open. Be gentle with yourself -- just because the world is mean to you doesn't mean you have to be mean to yourself.

The last sentence you wrote really stuck with me…
"Just because the world is mean to you doesn't mean you have to be mean to yourself"

It's funny, because my entire existence that's exactly the principals I've been following. I've been the shining star in a dark room.

Like you said earlier, about how you're the mom of the group. I'm usually the dad of the group .. .. I make sure the boys are fed, hydrated, and taken care of. I bring out cold waters when they're thirsty, and fry up mozzarella sticks when they're hungry.

In every friend group I've been apart of, I'm always the empathetic one. Always looking out for my buddies.

I had a buddie like that when I lived in Utah. The first, and last person I can truly say took care of me when I was too messed up to care for myself. He carried me to bed when I was too drunk to walk. He held my hand when I was throwing up, reassuring me that everything would be okay.

I wish I could meet more people like that in the world. But unfortunately my time is coming, faster than I'd like it to, but I can only procrastinate the ending for so long.

The boys ive met out here are truly great people. I'm happy they've accepted me as one of them - even if it's for a little while

 

[lil dwayne]

Best of luck brother