This hole's become my whole life. It keeps getting worse.

[greyblue_bian]

Last time I was here, I was talking about how I had thrown myself into the sex industry (via becoming a sugar baby) because I no longer feel any strong passion or incentive to work towards the things I wanted before. A man that I thought I was compatible with didn't have the money (I'm assuming) to even being doing this in the first place. Just yesterday, I found out he was a real pedophile with photos of little girls. I reported him on the site I met him on and the NCMEC. I think I may give up on even trying to pursue anyone in any sexual or romantic way until I CTB. I'm also running out of money and I'll just barely be able to afford the SN and the other things I'll need to get with it for this to work and if it doesn't, I'll be left with less than $50 to my name. I still need to get my will done and I've started putting my things in totes to hopefully make things a little easier. I've heard about the law that's about to be passed on making the sale of SN illegal in the U.S. and it's only adding to this feeling that I have to leave now. Things keep getting worse because I've grown careless about the time that passes and I let my money just slip out of my hands. I couldn't care less about my safety, but I'm hoping that man is arrested or found out or something because I don't want him to find out I reported him and hurt the people I know or get more pictures and exploit those girls anymore.

I'm tired and I'm done. If the police don't take any initiative on this and he finds out I reported him, I just hope out of everything he could and might do, he only hurts and hopefully kills me. Just as long as that's where it ends.