Hi sweet
@DysphoriaKilledMe
I'm sorry to read about all this pain ❤
I can imagine reading you, what a Gender Disphoria feels like... Discomfort, loneliness, uneasiness, regrets of a body and a gender that you didn't have... I understand that you hate yourself, that you may feel like an intruder, or a mistakenly constituted being ❤
I'm sorry that I suffer like this ❤
If I'm wrong about what you're going through, I apologize and I don't want to constitute a false image of you...
Dysphoria is really a complex entity, where discomfort, desire to be different, all mixed with feelings of despair, depression, reigns in people's minds...
I know you are suffering a lot but, above all, know that Freud said that the human mind is both male and female. In this, we are both internally
Then, I don't know exactly what brings you to suffer like this, is it because the male gender disgusts you by their behaviour (violence, machismo, vulgarity, mentality) ? Is it because you have always been a kind, sensitive person and you don't recognize yourself in men today? Is it because of your shape? Is it because you have been subjected to reflections on your appearance that have deeply affected you in the past?
To be honest, I know that this is a very complex subject. I would never allow myself to just say "love you" or "accept you" because I know it's not that easy.
On the other hand, you should know that this mood, this crying, this unstable sensitivity that you feel today, may be simply the result of an increase in your neurobiological activity (generation and activity of neurotransmitters in the centre of the so-called limbic brain, i.e., the place of emotions)
I don't know if you see professionals, if you have prescriptions, but certain molecules could attenuate this emotional suffering
As far as the "self-view" side is concerned, I think that even if you have already done it, it could be interesting to understand why you see yourself like that, why you suffer so much from being born male.
"What do I not like about myself?" "Have I always hated being a man, tes, no, really ?" "Was there an event that caused my discomfort, my uneasiness?" "Even if I don't recognize myself in this gender, are there things that I have appreciated and could appreciate again today?" "What would I need to be happy and why would I need that?"
Even if you have to tell yourself that these questions are absurd, they would at least allow you, by answering sincerely, to understand in depth this malaise. You know, when you are anxious, when you suffer, the feeling is multiplied tenfold when you don't understand exactly why this discomfort exists. It's like physical pain, very often, it's the fear due to the shock that makes the feeling increase tenfold, but if a person who has been injured takes a deep breath, the pain calms down and the feeling diminishes.
It can have the same effect here! Even if I don't guarantee miracles, understanding your experience perfectly and answering to the questions while sadness is gone (like that, your answers will be more rational ans true), this can help you to relativize and attenuate this suffering ❤
In any case, I think it's because you're at the end of your rope and without hope today that you think that changing sex at your age is not worth it ❤
If you feel when you've thought this through that it's the only way to get better, then why not do it?
After all, age is not a factor in determining whether a choice is good or bad
In medicine, choices are made in relation to a "benefit-risk" balance, but when it comes to us and only us, the only thing that determines the quality of a choice is the will and conviction of the one who decides! ❤
You are brave to have endured all this ❤ Anyone would suffer as you are suffering today ❤
We love you, your suffering is legitimate ❤
Whatever you choose to do, keep us posted ❤
Love ❤