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SanguineShark

SanguineShark

I am the monster you created
Jun 23, 2023
220
While sitting alone, feeling lonely, depressed, ridden with anxiety.. I just, I don't know, I am considering just doing ctb tonight
I don't have a good method, just pregabalin, lamotrigine, xanax and alcohol
But t's not like I took my time to plan, it's more so a sudden push to the very edge

I don't see any hope with my life, so why just not end it right now, right? What's the point of prolonging my suffering when I can just let myself go?
Posing this very difficult question feels very weird, very specific. "Do I want to kill myself right now?"
It's a question that's plagued me for years, but I still had hope then, my life has only gotten worse as years pass by.
This question is special, I enjoy the total blackness it puts my mind into. Maybe it's a bit fucked up for me to say, but I've been depressed for years, there is no surprise that I got comfortable in this mental state.
 
Last edited:
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Reactions: pole and AlouA
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,616
I don't know how reliable that method would be, but to me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, it must be dreadful what you have to go through, I wish you the best.
 
Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,162
pregabalin The LD50 for rodents has been established to be greater than 5000mg/kg. Rat IV LD50 was also determined to be greater than 300mg/kg. In terms of humans, there exists a case report of a man who ingested 8,400mg pregabalin and eventually fell into a coma but was managed with supportive care alone until he regained consciousness.

lamotrigine LD50 = 205 mg/kg ( Rat )

xanax ld50 the dose that caused half of the rats to die — ranged from 331 to 2,171 mg per kilogram of body weight
 
A

AlouA

looking for CTB partner in SEA
Sep 19, 2023
106
While sitting alone, feeling lonely, depressed, ridden with anxiety.. I just, I don't know, I am considering just doing ctb tonight
I don't have a good method, just pregabalin, lamotrigine, xanax and alcohol
But t's not like I took my time to plan, it's more so a sudden push to the very edge

I don't see any hope with my life, so why just not end it right now, right? What's the point of prolonging my suffering when I can just let myself go?
Posing this very difficult question feels very weird, very specific. "Do I want to kill myself right now?"
It's a question that's plagued me for years, but I still had hope then, my life has only gotten worse as years pass by.
This question is special, I enjoy the total blackness it puts my mind into. Maybe it's a bit fucked up for me to say, but I've been depressed for years, there is no surprise that I got comfortable in this mental state.
I relate with what you said.. if only I'll meet someone with the same thoughts such as what i have then I'll be happy to end my life together with them as I'm too indecisive which method guarantee the most success and painlessness, but that's not very possible... I wish you the best with your decision đź«‚
 
SanguineShark

SanguineShark

I am the monster you created
Jun 23, 2023
220
I relate with what you said.. if only I'll meet someone with the same thoughts such as what i have then I'll be happy to end my life together with them as I'm too indecisive which method guarantee the most success and painlessness, but that's not very possible... I wish you the best with your decision đź«‚
I wish I could die with someone as well. I wish I found someone who would love me enough to die with me.
I don't know how reliable that method would be, but to me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, it must be dreadful what you have to go through, I wish you the best.
Thank you, I doubt I'll do anything, but it weighs on me hard
 
Last edited:
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Reactions: AlouA

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