Discussion Things you can do to make it easier on your loved ones

[nomoredolor]

Disclaimer: there's not much that can be done and what can be done may only ease their pain .001% if that. This thread is more to make us feel .001% better by doing something to try to ease the pain of our loved ones. This could be practical details or emotional "support." If you're like me you have no desire to hurt the people in your life. You've stayed as long as you have for them and not for you. You see no other way out and deeply regret being the future cause of their anguish. You carry the shame and guilt of what you're going to do to them daily.

Please share below ideas or what you're doing to ease things ever so slightly for your loved ones. I'll get us started:
- leave a letter letting them know it's not their fault and they couldn't have affected the outcome
- I already signed a contract with the funeral home and bought a cemetery plot
- make a list of people to notify when you die

Thanks in advance for your contributions.
Anna

 

[CallmeWill4719]

It's not something I like to think about but feeling suicidal has been such a huge part of me it's hard not to. I don't know how I would do it but I would let my fiance know that he was the best person to ever come into my life and I'm sorry for not being strong enough to keep going. Like you said, It's not because they're not enough It's just because there's so much years of baggage from our joke society or toxic people.

 

[grapevoid]

- bought an urn, and some mini ones so my family can split the ashes in case anyone feels they need them. I had a few engraved for specific people.
-wrote out details about my wishes for my celebration of life/ashes etc
- saved enough money to pay for my cremation, shopped around and left details for a good place to have me cremated
-I set up a few emails for specific people a few years back where I have emailed photos of us, memories etc and put the log in info in their letter.
-wrote personal letters for everyone close to me.
- plan to spend a day, or time with the people closest to you before your date so they feel like they got to see you one last time? Idk that's my plan anyway

Honestly there is so much. I have done so much prep for when I cbt. Even just little things like organized my house, purged bullshit that wasn't needed etc so they will have less to go through. I know we can't erase the pain completely but I've worked really hard to leave things in the most favorable way possible to ease the responsibility of my family while grieving.

 

[nomoredolor]

This is super helpful and creative. I love the email idea really very tender. It sounds like you have been preparing for a long time. I wish you peace in your living and dying endeavors and appreciate you taking the time to comment. Hugs.

Did you write your own obituary?

Anna

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm leaving individual letters for my family. I'm planning out what I want to happen after I die so they wont have to do too much. I'm leaving my savings to my nephew and my life insurance to my younger brother (if he decides that he does not want it then it'll all go to my baby nephew). I'm organizing a blog type thing to talk about my memories and for my loved ones to gather and be able to talk to each other. Compiling all the photos that I can. Along with individual letters, I'm going to make individualized flash drives full of pictures of me and the person I'm leaving it to, along with voice notes/videos reminding them that I love them. It's taking me a very long time to get through, I only have a few months left so I don't know how much I'll actually complete though.