Things don’t get better. It’s a myth.

[uglyzuko]

Don't believe the lies that things will get better. There's a good chance you won't, unless you're one of the universes favorites. I believed that lie. That small whisper of a lie stopped me from succeeding with my attempt twice. I had a nugget of belief that maybe my life will get better; I will move out and go to college in three months and start my life anew. Make friends. No longer be lonely.

but no. Life doesn't get better. It'll probably get worse, even.A year ago I was homeless living in the bedroom of my family friend with my mother and baby sister.An exact year later — same week and everything! — my family got evicted again, we are homeless, and living in my father's friend's apartment.The only guy I thought capable of loving me is cheating on me. My phone iscompletely broken and I can'tafford to buy a new one. I found out my father's cheating on my mother again. I realized I was unlovable and will never find love.

everything is falling apart. Next time I get the opportunity to kill myself (I don't even have a fucking house to die in. I'm homeless!) I will fucking do it. I won't hesitate.this was a sign thst this planet is for me, life is not worth living, and things will get worse.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

I'm so sorry to hear your living conditions have gotten worse, I really think you can get through this. If you can't, I understand and don't blame you.

Have you tried signing up for income assistance in your country?
It helped me alot personally

I'm sending you good energy and hope you pull through, I believe you're a good person (judging from reading your post) who's just surrounded by bs. You seem stronger than the bs though that's why I'm saying all these things. Your story is very powerful and if you overcome it imagine how insane that would be.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Don't believe the lies that things will get better. There's a good chance you won't, unless you're one of the universes favorites. I believed that lie. That small whisper of a lie stopped me from succeeding with my attempt twice. I had a nugget of belief that maybe my life will get better; I will move out and go to college in three months and start my life anew. Make friends. No longer be lonely.

but no. Life doesn't get better. It'll probably get worse, even.A year ago I was homeless living in the bedroom of my family friend with my mother and baby sister.An exact year later — same week and everything! — my family got evicted again, we are homeless, and living in my father's friend's apartment.The only guy I thought capable of loving me is cheating on me. My phone iscompletely broken and I can'tafford to buy a new one. I found out my father's cheating on my mother again. I realized I was unlovable and will never find love.

everything is falling apart. Next time I get the opportunity to kill myself (I don't even have a fucking house to die in. I'm homeless!) I will fucking do it. I won't hesitate.this was a sign thst this planet is for me, life is not worth living, and things will get worse.

Hey Love. No one can promise that things will get better, they can even possibly get worse. But one thing I can say is that sometimes they do get better. But when/if we ctb, we just will never know...I understand it's so hard to see the light when ur surrounded by darkness. I don't see the light in my present circumstances either. I'm so sorry ur living situation is so messed up. I'm hoping u will stick around long enough to get even a glimpse of light..we r here for u.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Hey Love. No one can promise that things will get better, they can even possibly get worse. But one thing I can say is that sometimes they do get better. But when/if we ctb, we just will never know...I understand it's so hard to see the light when ur surrounded by darkness. I don't see the light in my present circumstances either. I'm so sorry ur living situation is so messed up. I'm hoping u will stick around long enough to get even a glimpse of light..we r here for u.

Can you tell me a bit more on your situation? You seem like a lovely person

 

[Dead beat dad]

Don't believe the lies that things will get better. There's a good chance you won't, unless you're one of the universes favorites. I believed that lie. That small whisper of a lie stopped me from succeeding with my attempt twice. I had a nugget of belief that maybe my life will get better; I will move out and go to college in three months and start my life anew. Make friends. No longer be lonely.

but no. Life doesn't get better. It'll probably get worse, even.A year ago I was homeless living in the bedroom of my family friend with my mother and baby sister.An exact year later — same week and everything! — my family got evicted again, we are homeless, and living in my father's friend's apartment.The only guy I thought capable of loving me is cheating on me. My phone iscompletely broken and I can'tafford to buy a new one. I found out my father's cheating on my mother again. I realized I was unlovable and will never find love.

everything is falling apart. Next time I get the opportunity to kill myself (I don't even have a fucking house to die in. I'm homeless!) I will fucking do it. I won't hesitate.this was a sign thst this planet is for me, life is not worth living, and things will get worse.

Hi friend, I'm sorry to hear about how hard things are.
You clearly have strength, from your narrative it looks like you've been dealt a shit hand but have been able to play the cards somewhat deftly.
You have shown you have strength and resolve, qualities that so many don't (irrespective of whether they're suicidal or not).
I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm firmly rooted in the "life is shit" camp, but you seem to have a strength which is a start.
You're kind and care about others, can you be that to yourself? Easy to say not easy to do when all you see are skies of black.
Sometimes those we want to love and inspire us just don't (again my camp 100%), do give up on yourself because of them.
I wish peace friend, where ever your path takes you.
DBD

 

[Lostandfound7]

Can you tell me a bit more on your situation? You seem like a lovely person

Awww ty..well I'm here cuz I found out 7 months ago that my husband of 13 yrs had an affair last yr. It totally turned my life upside down n has brought me to a place that is so dark n scary for me. I hit a breaking point a few wks ago n was ready to ctb.Everyday is a struggle but I'm trying. I'm living in constant mental torment but it has gotten better the past 2 wks..my school work is what keeps me occupied..

I wanna hang myself now
I wanna hang myself I have exercise vands
Bands

Hey sweetie.Not sure that will work n might end up doing more damage..talk to us

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Awww ty..well I'm here cuz I found out 7 months ago that my husband of 13 yrs had an affair last yr. It totally turned my life upside down n has brought me to a place that is so dark n scary for me. I hit a breaking point a few wks ago n was ready to ctb.Everyday is a struggle but I'm trying. I'm living in constant mental torment but it has gotten better the past 2 wks..my school work is what keeps me occupied..

Hey sweetie.Not sure that will work n might end up doing more damage..talk to us

I'm really sorry to hear that, as a loyal person myself it always got to me and I would have to smoke weed litterally to cope with the fact that I got cheated on.

But meeting other women really helped cure that aswell

Have u tried tinder lol or forgiving your ex husband if you're still in love with him? I don't mean to dig into your personal life but I just wanted to help

 

[Lostandfound7]

No its fine to ask..Well I have "forgiven" him n we r in counseling but it still hurts like hell n I don't think I will ever get back trust. I have moved into our guest room cuz I don't even wanna sleep in the same bed with him. He keeps apologizing but it's gonna take a min..I feel like the only way I will feel totally better is if I cheat but don't wanna do that either..idk..

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

No its fine to ask..Well I have "forgiven" him n we r in counseling but it still hurts like hell n I don't think I will ever get back trust. I have moved into our guest room cuz I don't even wanna sleep in the same bed with him. He keeps apologizing but it's gonna take a min..I feel like the only way I will feel totally better is if I cheat but don't wanna do that either..idk..

I'm sorry but you're so loyal and it's great. He's a lucky guy and trust me, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It will take time,
but I think it will be worth it for you to stay around

 

[Lostandfound7]

I'm sorry but you're so loyal and it's great. He's a lucky guy and trust me, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It will take time,
but I think it will be worth it for you to stay around

Ur encouragement means a whole lot to me cuz I struggled with that for a long time. I couldn't understand how someone could say they love u n still cheat on u.I now understand it is in fact possible..ty so much..I really appreciate Ur kind words
* What brings u here? If u don't mind me asking..

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Ur encouragement means a whole lot to me cuz I struggled with that for a long time. I couldn't understand how someone could say they love u n still cheat on u.I now understand it is in fact possible..ty so much..I really appreciate Ur kind words
* What brings u here? If u don't mind me asking..

Ofcourse!! I mean it, men make mistakes all the time and sometimes we need to experience what we DONT want to know what we DO want. It sounds bad but it's true. Has he stuck around the whole time?
If so you gotta admit that sounds like a man who loves you very much

I'm actually here because I was searching for methods to ctb until I had a profound experience (also SN is impossible to get in Canada) and decided not to kill myself because there were so many people who had worse lives than I did

 

[Lostandfound7]

Ofcourse!! I mean it, men make mistakes all the time and sometimes we need to experience what we DONT want to know what we DO want. It sounds bad but it's true. Has he stuck around the whole time?
If so you gotta admit that sounds like a man who loves you very much

I'm actually here because I was searching for methods to ctb until I had a profound experience (also SN is impossible to get in Canada) and decided not to kill myself because there were so many people who had worse lives than I did

Yeah he as stuck around the whole time n apologizes profusely everyday, but on the other hand, I'm just not getting the emotional support that i need...
Wow that's awesome! Yeah although I have many issues going on on my side, I still see many others going thru so much more..Makes me feel like crap..

 

[uglyzuko]

Hey Love. No one can promise that things will get better, they can even possibly get worse. But one thing I can say is that sometimes they do get better. But when/if we ctb, we just will never know...I understand it's so hard to see the light when ur surrounded by darkness. I don't see the light in my present circumstances either. I'm so sorry ur living situation is so messed up. I'm hoping u will stick around long enough to get even a glimpse of light..we r here for u.

I just think it's so lazy and disingenuous for people to be parroting the cliche mantra "things will get better" when it doesn't, or if it does, it's after years of suffering. Who wants to continue to suffer for the slim chance your life might get marginally better? Why would I continue watching a show that's not entertaining or uninteresting, when I'd rather just quit after the fifth episode?

like, if I killed myself five years ago, it'd be great. I've been suffering for years with the hope it'll get better but in five years nothing had changed, maybe even gotten worse. I'm not gonna wait around for some magical life switch when the universe clearly doesn't give two shits about me. As soon as I have the chance, I'm going to hang myself.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

I just think it's so lazy and disingenuous for people to be parroting the cliche mantra "things will get better" when it doesn't, or if it does, it's after years of suffering. Who wants to continue to suffer for the slim chance your life might get marginally better? Why would I continue watching a show that's not entertaining or uninteresting, when I'd rather just quit after the fifth episode?

like, if I killed myself five years ago, it'd be great. I've been suffering for years with the hope it'll get better but in five years nothing had changed, maybe even gotten worse. I'm not gonna wait around for some magical life switch when the universe clearly doesn't give two shits about me. As soon as I have the chance, I'm going to hang myself.

You sound extremely intelligent and like a sweet person, I personally am rooting for you to pull thru just know that. Try writing poetry or creating art, you don't have to be inclined in any way to be creative, it can be taught. It may give your life meaning same way it did mine

The last recommendation I can make is smoking weed, it actually saved my life when I was suicidal at a young age. It really did give me a reason to live

Yeah he as stuck around the whole time n apologizes profusely everyday, but on the other hand, I'm just not getting the emotional support that i need...
Wow that's awesome! Yeah although I have many issues going on on my side, I still see many others going thru so much more..Makes me feel like crap..

What's important is that you can see that your life isn't hopeless and I'm so happy for that. I have a feeling that your husband means what he says, try sitting down with him and just saying how you feel.

I always suggest this but do you smoke weed? It saved my life

Don't feel bad because you still have a chance at happiness and it isn't so far away. Like I said, im incredibly jealous that you found the person you love and have been together for 13 years.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Don't believe the lies that things will get better. There's a good chance you won't, unless you're one of the universes favorites. I believed that lie. That small whisper of a lie stopped me from succeeding with my attempt twice. I had a nugget of belief that maybe my life will get better; I will move out and go to college in three months and start my life anew. Make friends. No longer be lonely.

but no. Life doesn't get better. It'll probably get worse, even.A year ago I was homeless living in the bedroom of my family friend with my mother and baby sister.An exact year later — same week and everything! — my family got evicted again, we are homeless, and living in my father's friend's apartment.The only guy I thought capable of loving me is cheating on me. My phone iscompletely broken and I can'tafford to buy a new one. I found out my father's cheating on my mother again. I realized I was unlovable and will never find love.

everything is falling apart. Next time I get the opportunity to kill myself (I don't even have a fucking house to die in. I'm homeless!) I will fucking do it. I won't hesitate.this was a sign thst this planet is for me, life is not worth living, and things will get worse.

Finally someone that said it

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Finally someone that said it

Look we all have each other
We shouldn't give up on that

If any of you guys need to talk I will happily give out my phone number on here

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Look we all have each other
We shouldn't give up on that

That's one of the main reasons people here find comfort and more in peace than to commit suicide right away

 

[Mizzmini45]

They only got worse for me to.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

That's one of the main reasons people here find comfort and more in peace than to commit suicide right away

I understand that completely but as a person that's no longer suicidal
It's painful to see all these lovely people including yourself wanting to harm themselves or be put out of their misery. If the pain is too great I understand, but if they can find the strength to persist then they can do anything in this world. I genuinely believe that.

The way I see it is if a person can find the will to live, they can succeed in anything (other than music industry just being honest, personal experience)

 

[Lostandfound7]

I just think it's so lazy and disingenuous for people to be parroting the cliche mantra "things will get better" when it doesn't, or if it does, it's after years of suffering. Who wants to continue to suffer for the slim chance your life might get marginally better? Why would I continue watching a show that's not entertaining or uninteresting, when I'd rather just quit after the fifth episode?

like, if I killed myself five years ago, it'd be great. I've been suffering for years with the hope it'll get better but in five years nothing had changed, maybe even gotten worse. I'm not gonna wait around for some magical life switch when the universe clearly doesn't give two shits about me. As soon as I have the chance, I'm going to hang myself.

Ok. First, I'm not parroting any "mantra" or giving anyone false hope. Sometimes situations do change for the worse, sometimes for the better. Of course, it's up to the person if they wanna "stick it out" n continue to live..Second, of course life sux for many of us, but sometimes certain conditions won't allow u to just ctb (children, parents, spouse,etc), so it's not like u can just change the show, per se. Third, there r many times when the situation gets way worse, BUT there r also countless situations where the person's life took a compete turn for the amazing. Fourth, this is MY opinion, which I'm entitled to...
What's important is that you can see that your life isn't hopeless and I'm so happy for that. I have a feeling that your husband means what he says, try sitting down with him and just saying how you feel.

I always suggest this but do you smoke weed? It saved my life

Don't feel bad because you still have a chance at happiness and it isn't so far away. Like I said, im incredibly jealous that you found the person you love and have been together for 13 years.
[/QUOTE]
Ty but I probably should have waited, tbh..

You sound extremely intelligent and like a sweet person, I personally am rooting for you to pull thru just know that. Try writing poetry or creating art, you don't have to be inclined in any way to be creative, it can be taught. It may give your life meaning same way it did mine

The last recommendation I can make is smoking weed, it actually saved my life when I was suicidal at a young age. It really did give me a reason to live


What's important is that you can see that your life isn't hopeless and I'm so happy for that. I have a feeling that your husband means what he says, try sitting down with him and just saying how you feel.

I always suggest this but do you smoke weed? It saved my life

Don't feel bad because you still have a chance at happiness and it isn't so far away. Like I said, im incredibly jealous that you found the person you love and have been together for 13 years.

Ty, but I probably should have waited tbh..Yeah we have sat down for MILLIONS of hrs n spoke. It doesn't always turn out too good..lol..Too much pain on my side n too much guilt n shame on his..

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Ok. First, I'm not parroting any "mantra" or giving anyone false hope. Sometimes situations do change for the worse, sometimes for the better. Of course, it's up to the person if they wanna "stick it out" n continue to live..Second, of course life sux for many of us, but sometimes certain conditions won't allow u to just ctb (children, parents, spouse,etc), so it's not like u can just change the show, per se. Third, there r many times when the situation gets way worse, BUT there r also countless situations where the person's life took a compete turn for the amazing. Fourth, this is MY opinion, which I'm entitled to...
What's important is that you can see that your life isn't hopeless and I'm so happy for that. I have a feeling that your husband means what he says, try sitting down with him and just saying how you feel.

I always suggest this but do you smoke weed? It saved my life

Don't feel bad because you still have a chance at happiness and it isn't so far away. Like I said, im incredibly jealous that you found the person you love and have been together for 13 years.

Ty but I probably should have waited, tbh..

Ty, but I probably should have waited tbh..Yeah we have sat down for MILLIONS of hrs n spoke. It doesn't always turn out too good..lol..Too much pain on my side n too much guilt n shame on his..
[/QUOTE]

Have you thought about doing the things that made you happy together? The things that made you fall in love in the first place?
I think that could be great therapy

I was going to suggest MDMA or Ecstacy but realized that's dangerous

I'm glad you guys talk I think the fact that he still feels ashamed is very powerful in itself and it speaks volumes about how much he regrets it. Please don't give up on your marriage

 

[Lostandfound7]

Lol! @ecstasy or MDMA..no we haven't tried those..lol..afraid of street/synthetic drugs..So we do try to go out n just take a breather..the issue is more so with me n the psychological torment n lack of trust. Also PTSD from the whole incident..
So what brings u here??

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Lol! @ecstasy or MDMA..no we haven't tried those..lol..afraid of street/synthetic drugs..So we do try to go out n just take a breather..the issue is more so with me n the psychological torment n lack of trust. Also PTSD from the whole incident..
So what brings u here??

I completely understand, I don't blame you for not doing them it's probably a good thing cause you never know what youre really taking.

I think it will just take time, you have to remember that he probably won't make the same mistake ever again after seeing how it affected you. Weird question but do you guys still show each other affection? It's an important question because that does wonders for the brain and body, like cuddling etc

And I'm here because I was originally going to ctb and even figured out a way that I could in Canada but after reading so many posts I realized I have it alot better than some people and it was like a switch flipped inside my head. I still get intrusive thoughts that I should kill myself etc but I remember that what good is it if I'm dead if I could've helped lovely people on here get over their issues. This forum really helps with my mental health personally, the community of people here are so kind including yourself and litterally cannot find a community like it anywhere else

I hope youre able to work through your psychological and trust issues. It took me years and alot of pot to get over my trust issues

 

[sadgirl2002]

I don't think it will get better, my life has been constant pain and suffering and it only got worse over the years.

 

[Epsilon0]

Not only do things not get better, but they get increasingly worse.

And on top of that, the older we get, the clearer we see how futile and ugly everything is.

There's no winning this game called life. God is playing dice, and we are forever losing.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I completely understand, I don't blame you for not doing them it's probably a good thing cause you never know what youre really taking.

I think it will just take time, you have to remember that he probably won't make the same mistake ever again after seeing how it affected you. Weird question but do you guys still show each other affection? It's an important question because that does wonders for the brain and body, like cuddling etc

And I'm here because I was originally going to ctb and even figured out a way that I could in Canada but after reading so many posts I realized I have it alot better than some people and it was like a switch flipped inside my head. I still get intrusive thoughts that I should kill myself etc but I remember that what good is it if I'm dead if I could've helped lovely people on here get over their issues. This forum really helps with my mental health personally, the community of people here are so kind including yourself and litterally cannot find a community like it anywhere else

I hope youre able to work through your psychological and trust issues. It took me years and alot of pot to get over my trust issues

Yes, hopefully he won't do it again. n I'm purposely making it hell for him so that he remembers the pain he has caused n how he has destroyed his marriage, temp.
He doesn't deserve any cuddling right now..lol..he tries but I don't reciprocate. I'm not feeling it so don't wanna fake it..
I'm so happy that given life another try n that ur here n using ur wisdom to help counsel others!

 

[Whitewash11235814]

Yeah, lol.
I'm in a permanent predicament.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Yes, hopefully he won't do it again. n I'm purposely making it hell for him so that he remembers the pain he has caused n how he has destroyed his marriage, temp.
He doesn't deserve any cuddling right now..lol..he tries but I don't reciprocate. I'm not feeling it so don't wanna fake it..
I'm so happy that given life another try n that ur here n using ur wisdom to help counsel others!

Lol I don't blame you, well when you're ready to open up to him fully I think that would be a good idea. Small steps ofcourse but I think that will help you find reasons to not ctb

But definately do not fake it, when the time is right, remember you hold all the power but I'm sure a part of you wants to see him happy with you again

That makes me so happy that I helped you, you have no idea. You're doing a great job helping others too, don't let people talk you out of it.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Yeah other reasons too, not just him, but I'm in a better place today than I was 2 wks ago..I'm just taking it one day at a time so I don't spiral out of control again..I really appreciate your counsel..I have really developed a love for the ppl here..

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Yeah other reasons too, not just him, but I'm in a better place today than I was 2 wks ago..I'm just taking it one day at a time so I don't spiral out of control again..I really appreciate your counsel..I have really developed a love for the ppl here..

I'm so glad to hear that, I hope tomorrow is an even better day for you!! Me aswell, even the people struggling often don't realize how wonderful they are