Things are working out, still suicidal

[cantdecidenameeven]

Doing much better in life than I was a year ago, still suicidal. I want to do more, but a lot of obstacles in the way. Hard to fight through them, knowing suicide is within reach

I want to hopefully leave this country soon, and I might if things keep working out

I'm very scared shit will hit the fan again, and again, I'll be nothing. I'll not talk myself out of it then, it will be my end sadly.

What stopped me before was religion, left, now it's my family. But my family have demonstrated countless times that they don't care much about my feelings, so I'm growing a bit insensitive to theirs. I still care about them, but I'm more open to just ending it now.

ps. fuck islam

 

[timf]

For some people suicidal ideation can become a coping strategy. It can be a way of keeping a sense of control. Even when circumstance improve, it may be hard to let go of something that has helped in the past. It can be helpful to give consideration to the development of the newer skills that may be more useful in the long run.

There was a joke in the Army about a guy who wanted to get out. He started riding an imaginary bicycle. The psychiatrists said he was hopeless so they gave him a discharge. As he was leaving the base he parked his imaginary bicycle against the fence. The guard asked him what he was doing and he said, "I don't need it any more".

Hopefully you won't need "suicide" any more.

 

[wantingdignity]

It can take a while to let the option go.

If it's sticking around for this long, and does sound like you want to make a change. Maybe change "I don't want to live" to "I don't want to live like this."

I feel you too. It sucks when loved ones do not seem to care that we're suicidal

 

[spark]

Doing much better in life than I was a year ago, still suicidal. I want to do more, but a lot of obstacles in the way. Hard to fight through them, knowing suicide is within reach

I want to hopefully leave this country soon, and I might if things keep working out

I'm very scared shit will hit the fan again, and again, I'll be nothing. I'll not talk myself out of it then, it will be my end sadly.

What stopped me before was religion, left, now it's my family. But my family have demonstrated countless times that they don't care much about my feelings, so I'm growing a bit insensitive to theirs. I still care about them, but I'm more open to just ending it now.

ps. fuck islam

I'm so happy to hear that things got better for you.
It's hard, I know. Life wont magically turn around from one day to the other,
change most of the times comes slow but steady.
I honestly don't have much to say,
but I sincerely wish you all the best and I hope you're gonna be fine

 

[cantdecidenameeven]

I'm so happy to hear that things got better for you.
It's hard, I know. Life wont magically turn around from one day to the other,
change most of the times comes slow but steady.
I honestly don't have much to say,
but I sincerely wish you all the best and I hope you're gonna be fine

They're starting to fall apart again. But I'm still better than when I made this account. I'm just not sure if I want to keep fighting anymore

Thank you for your kind words. Thanks everyone

 

[spark]

> I'm just not sure if I want to keep fighting anymore
I feel you. Fuck, I am literally sitting here crying and losing my shit right now, knowing that I will die within the next few days.
I hope you can find the strength. Or that you'll at least find a way out that feels good for you.

 

[timf]

I'm just not sure if I want to keep fighting anymore

"Fighting" can be tiring. You might want to experiment with some additional strategies. For example, a "flanking maneuver" might be to do something unusual such as going to a zoo, a go-kart race track, go fishing, or visit a museum. Sometimes a diversion can break up a gathering gloom.