Things are getting worse.

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I'm losing my mind as I type this. Not a single psychologists cares to return any calls. My doctors keep prescribing me bad meds.
I'm beginning to hear and see things. The world is turning against me. Everyone is rude.
I'm so angry yet so scared right now. I want to make the world suffer! I stopped being nice recently and started being the worst human alive! I'm so terrified of myself. Yet I can't feel anything, no remorse for telling a worker to go fuck themselves, nothing at all. I'm scared.
Things are falling apart. Reality slips away. My memories of old feel more real than right now.
I really need someone to talk to.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm sorry....

 

[Deleted member 8975]

Wow this could be me. Except after a few months of feeling this way and doing similar behavior, I am become numb and even more dead inside than I thought I was. It's like reality is breaking apart and I'm no longer sure what's real or if real is is real.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Wow this could be me. Except after a few months of feeling this way and doing similar behavior, I am become numb and even more dead inside than I thought I was. It's like reality is breaking apart and I'm no longer sure what's real or if real is is real.

Jesus. I really need to do something about this, wish euthanasia was an option.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Get professional help, they said...
It gets better, they said…

 

[Huntfish34]

I'm pretty damn close to that myself,. Battling my sick and morbid mind. It's gotten out of hand lately and I believe it will get me fired from my job sooner or later. I Fckn hate it,. Just wish I could pull the trigger already....

I wish you the best in whatever may happen.

 

[Crazy4u]

can you please check out online websites like talkspace, cerebral, teladoc,...etc? there are some counselors available for appointments.

It would be helpful to have your medical history and medications you take available so they can hopefully figure it out

I wish you the best

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. I'm sorry you are in so much pain, I understand that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I also wish euthanasia was an option, for me personally I am only still alive because ctb is so difficult. I just want to peacefully exit this world. I wish you the best.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I decided to cut my medicine in half. I'm going to gradually take myself off it in the coming months. Your comments gave me some clarity on my current situation, I now perceive it as almost die enough for me to undergo radical treatments. Can't wait to get brain surgery to fix the mess that's my mind

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I decided to cut my medicine in half. I'm going to gradually take myself off it in the coming months. Your comments gave me some clarity on my current situation, I now perceive it as almost die enough for me to undergo radical treatments. Can't wait to get brain surgery to fix the mess that's my mind

What kindsa radical treatments have been proposed for you?

For me, they told me they thought I should do ECT and it terrified me. I was like no way. Now..I feel as I've moved closer to death, I'm at a 50/50 shot of going through with ECT.

What kinds of meds have you been on?

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

What kindsa radical treatments have been proposed for you?

For me, they told me they thought I should do ECT and it terrified me. I was like no way. Now..I feel as I've moved closer to death, I'm at a 50/50 shot of going through with ECT.

What kinds of meds have you been on?

Some fancy new medical surgery that opens up my cranial skull to poke several prods into my brain and deliver a very controlled delivery of electro shock. This method isn't as dangerous nor as damaging as ECt, the shocks are being delivered to the parts of the brain that need it.

I've been on the usual generic meds. Seroquel is the latest one.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

Some fancy new medical surgery that opens up my cranial skull to poke several prods into my brain and deliver a very controlled delivery of electro shock. This method isn't as dangerous nor as damaging as ECt, the shocks are being delivered to the parts of the brain that need it.

I've been on the usual generic meds. Seroquel is the latest one.

ECT can be something done up to 10 times if needed. Is this surgery a one time thing? Could you tell me the name? I'm interested maybe for myself.

I've been on SSRIS (Sertraline and Escitalopram), SNRI (venlafaxine), and Saint Johns Wort (this is the only one that helped, the others did damage to me for a very long time after stopping and during). The last option is Wellbutrin.

Seroquel is a tranq right? May I ask what your diagnoses are?

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

ECT can be something done up to 10 times if needed. Is this surgery a one time thing? Could you tell me the name? I'm interested maybe for myself.

I've been on SSRIS (Sertraline and Escitalopram), SNRI (venlafaxine), and Saint Johns Wort (this is the only one that helped, the others did damage to me for a very long time after stopping and during). The last option is Wellbutrin.

Seroquel is a tranq right? May I ask what your diagnoses are?

The operation was conducted in Canada on a man who went through ECT and everything else. I forgot the name of it, but I came across looking for brain surgery to fix depression. It was a stunning success!
Seroquel was prescribed to me in order to combat psychosis. I'm still not familiar or at all unable to understand what psychosis really is. Seroquel can however cause hallucinations.

When I went through my recent psychotic episodes I decided to expose myself to morbid material. I couldn't find liveleaks anywhere but came across another site, lets just say that I felt instantly better. Especially the karma vids. I highly recommend that you don't turn to morbid material like I do. It can affect a wide array of people in different ways so I wouldn't risk it.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Why is everyone on this board so selfless, your all angels despite what the world did to you!
I love you all.
However, I'm quickly losing my wings, I can't be as selfless as you wonderful people. You're all awe inspiring and I love you all for that!
I'm fast approaching the Divide.
Wish me luck on this one please.
I'm fast approaching the Divide.
Wish me luck on this one please.

 

[Sherri]

Get professional help, they said...
It gets better, they said…

If only…

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

If only…

Just keep trying and things will get better they say.
Keep trying medications, one should work out they say.