Story Things are falling into place

[Chiyuki99]

and I'm starting to feel less and less afraid. I simply do feel exhausted and tired and I am looking forward my exit next month. I'm tired of fighting and giving it all and I've accepted that this is apparently the end for me.

Yesterday I rekindled with an old friend of mine, who I had strong feelings for and who I haven't talked to since 2016, and he apologised for his actions back then. It was so nice to talk again with my old crush and I am so proud of the person he has become. I feel happy and I feel like things are falling into place, it will be the right moment for me to cbt.

And that's it for now. I will try to spend my last weeks on earth calm and at peace. There is many people who will be upset, some might even be devastated, after my death but I am positive they will recover from it fast. I feel more and more at peace.

 

[SummerDreamer]

I'm happy for you that you are feeling less afraid. Sometimes it hurts to think about the people you're leaving behind, but if you feel at peace with your fate it can make the last days you have left a lot more bearable. Sending love <3

 

[Chiyuki99]

Yesterday I was at the point of telling my boyfriend what's up and why I'm only crying and laying in bed lately. But I was scared of telling him and ended up answering "It's okay, don't worry" and he immediately started getting mad at me. He said he didn't have time to deal with shit like that and thought I was cheating on him ot something because several times he aggressively asked "Do you have something to tell me?"

That hurt because it is not the first time he got angry at me for crying and being upset, but maybe I just really suck at being a good girlfriend. And I am sure after my death he will find a woman who will make him happier than I ever could.