These suicidal thoughts have been repeating in my head all day every day

[Hahem]

List of common thoughts:

"Suicide is the only true way out
Suicide is the only way I'm getting out of this one
There is only one way out in life
And you know it
It doesn't matter how hard
There's no way I'm getting myself out
There's no way out
But I guess that's life
Doesn't matter how hard you try
But that's life
You try and try and try but then for what?
In the end, it doesn't even matter
Do you wanna know the thing I find funny about life? It doesn't even matter how hard you try; in the end, nothing matters, and that's where it hurts
Losing count of the days
Those days were you realize what life is all about
No point in even trying
It is over
It was rigged all along
Rigged since the start
No point in even trying
No true way out
On the edge
No way I'm getting myself out of this one
Cornered by all sides
No exit in sight
No way out in sight"

I am kinda ashamed to admit
To be honest, these thoughts keep repeating inside my head every day of my life and I just got used to them
I even repeat them alongside the music I hear
Deep inside, I know this isn't normal behaviour in the slightest and I think I should fight back those thoughts but I end up giving in. Maybe I should tell my psychiatrist.
Does anyone else suffer something similar? What to think of this?
Any help is appreciated.

 

[feelinggloomy]

My son spoke that way. He was considered chronically suicidal. That did not make me think he was abnormal: rather, he was profoundly depressed. He could not escape his thoughts and would say it's not it it's when. He needed to end his pain. And he did. Now those thoughts bounce around in my head 24/7. I don't know what to tell you coz I don't know much about anything. I can only say that it's hard and I'm sorry and I hope my son had someone on a forum like this to talk to to feel less lonely. Someone like you who could relate

 

[CTB Fella]

My son spoke that way. He was considered chronically suicidal. That did not make me think he was abnormal: rather, he was profoundly depressed. He could not escape his thoughts and would say it's not it it's when. He needed to end his pain. And he did. Now those thoughts bounce around in my head 24/7. I don't know what to tell you coz I don't know much about anything. I can only say that it's hard and I'm sorry and I hope my son had someone on a forum like this to talk to to feel less lonely. Someone like you who could relate

I'm known as being "extremely high risk."

Regarding taking one's life.

I fucking love the fact that certain "family" members will be mentally fucked, once I've gone. That's actually one of the factors that keeps me trying.

And believe me, I am fucking trying.

If I see your son in heaven, I'll tell him how you're feeling. Depending on how he feels, I hope he'll reach out to you x.

 

[Hahem]

My son spoke that way. He was considered chronically suicidal. That did not make me think he was abnormal: rather, he was profoundly depressed. He could not escape his thoughts and would say it's not it it's when. He needed to end his pain. And he did. Now those thoughts bounce around in my head 24/7. I don't know what to tell you coz I don't know much about anything. I can only say that it's hard and I'm sorry and I hope my son had someone on a forum like this to talk to to feel less lonely. Someone like you who could relate

I'm so sorry for your son and I appreciate your comment, it made me feel less alone on this. I hope we can both get out of this one I'm wishing you the best.