restless.dreams
Experienced
- Feb 7, 2024
- 230
I hear people say this all the time, but ... really? Because every time I've tried to open my heart up to someone, I find out they only ever wanted one thing -- and it wasn't love. It wasn't love when I was too drunk or high to say no. It wasn't love when I was used, hurt, and abandoned by the one person who meant everything to me. I still daydream about finding a woman to spend the rest of my life with, but I know it's never going to happen. How could anyone ever want me when my mind, heart, and body are so broken? I'm too insecure, too sensitive, too much for anyone. I know I'm a mess and I push people away. I don't know how to be someone who deserves to be loved.
I know being in a relationship won't fix my trauma and mental illness. It's selfish to even want this when I'm so broken that I'll just hurt anyone who gets close to me. Even so, I can't help but wish there were someone out there for me. The loneliness is too much to bear.
I know being in a relationship won't fix my trauma and mental illness. It's selfish to even want this when I'm so broken that I'll just hurt anyone who gets close to me. Even so, I can't help but wish there were someone out there for me. The loneliness is too much to bear.