Venting Theres no hope.

[cylus46]

Ill never get better.
Ill never be happy.
Ill never not feel alone.
Ill never find that special someone.
Ill never find a career that makes me happy.
Ill never wake up happy.
Im a useless, pathetic, sack of shit.
A failure of a man.
No one loves me.
I cant wait for my fucking life to end.

 

[Griever]

 

[dontwakemeup]

It's a hard reality to accept, but you're not alone! I'm sorry friend.

 

[rs929]

While I do agree that life sucks, what is your evidence to be so certain that things won't get better?

 

[cylus46]

While I do agree that life sucks, what is your evidence to be so certain that things won't get better?

It's just a trend in my life. Since I was born my father left, my mom married my step dad who was a abusive pos, because of him my mom and me along with my 3 siblings were homeless and i was 6. Then i had to move around my whole life, my mom herself tho I respect for her ability to push through and be a working machine was a terrible parent and abusive herself both physically and mentally. I was bullied and almost choked to death by bullies and my mom solution was teaching me to fight and then I just ended up fighting constantly. And thats just up till age 12. Then onward I had a bunch of foot problems from behind flat footed and I have pectus excavatum which is a indentation in the chest bone which made me insecure and in pain and short of breath every growth spurt I had but we could afford to get surgery to fix it so I just thugged it out. Now days as a adult it's harmless to me which is good ig. Then nearing graduation from HS I had plans to get into the military but I had health issues that ruined it. And my ex at the time was very mentally abusive to me, leading me to starve myself down to 94lbs (as a 5'11 grown man that's very bad) and she broke up with me after I gave my all to her. And by the way im just skimming over the half of it.

Now 2 years later I'm 20 and I have a even worse mental health. I'm stuck at home with mom. And I'm just so tired now.
I do think things could get better but I just feel so heavy and I'm not able to function on a basic level anymore and I have so many issues that I can't even tell people all of it. I mean I told you 1/4 of it and it's a fucking novel.
Things could get better but 20 years in it's never gotten better.