Hey, just wanted to give my two cents. Nothing amazing happened my whole life, health-wise or financial-wise. The people I cared for passed away before I spent enough time with them. The people that do exist now have some sort of health issue, including myself. Financially, my family's a complete mess. Too many debts, too little income. I know there's potential for good things to happen, and they have happened, but unfairness is constantly overtaking fairness. I might have a good thing happen here and there, but mostly it's all been bad. But, just when I went into a lot of depression and became suicidal, good things started happening. It's almost like something doesn't want me to attempt.
What I mean by all this, is that maybe good things will happen to you soon as well. And you mention you don't have it in you, why not? Unless you're absolutely sure things won't get better, maybe just try and see if they will? Instead of wanting that hope, maybe watch some films with your friends, chat with your family, or do something you like?
Now, I'm not at all a positive guy. In fact, I'm super pessimistic about things, and usually suicidal. But I feel like maybe there is a chance for you to get better? I'm trying every single day. Recently I brisk-walked for like 10 minutes listening to my favorite music and it felt great. Now I became super lazy again. Maybe getting better is more about overcoming that depression or laziness?
Let me know what you think of this. If you truly think things will not get better, then you're probably right.