butterscotch
Member
- Apr 20, 2020
- 46
deal with it. deal with the depression, suicidal urges, all of that. i have to sit here and experience it, and there's no way out. there's nothing i can do, there never has been for all these years. just suffer, with no way out.
i'm considering, for the first time in a long time, standing in front of a train.
i never think about it, because i have a strong feeling it will be far from instant death, and i don't want to traumatize anyone.
but i have no money, no car, no gun, i'm too fat to hang myself and i don't even have rope. i can't mix household chemicals because that threatens the lives of others, i don't have access to the top of some tall building. i never have any options, and apparently it's my fault anyways.
but i'm lucky. there are train tracks very close by.
apparently, this garbage method is all i've got. i should go do it. but i feel like i'll just be dragged by train wheels and survive with half my limbs cut off. this method is trash. and it's all i have
i'm considering, for the first time in a long time, standing in front of a train.
i never think about it, because i have a strong feeling it will be far from instant death, and i don't want to traumatize anyone.
but i have no money, no car, no gun, i'm too fat to hang myself and i don't even have rope. i can't mix household chemicals because that threatens the lives of others, i don't have access to the top of some tall building. i never have any options, and apparently it's my fault anyways.
but i'm lucky. there are train tracks very close by.
apparently, this garbage method is all i've got. i should go do it. but i feel like i'll just be dragged by train wheels and survive with half my limbs cut off. this method is trash. and it's all i have