Venting There is no way out but suicide

[imastain]

I'm not even sure as to where to begin with this. I am in so much pain and I am suffering so bad. Every moment is agonising and awful. I have zero ambitions. Zero motivation. I am in so much emotional pain all the time. I don't know how to put it into words. But I'm sure people on here are familiar with that feeling. I feel nothing but utter despair and agony and I can't take this anymore. I have been holding onto life because of my parents but I refuse to do it anymore. They are as selfish for wanting me around as I am for wanting to leave.

I tried to sell my body to a doctor in exchange for fent patches so that I could CTB. I couldn't go through it because he refused but I don't know what I am going to do. I feel so trapped. Like there is no escape. I am hurting so much. I can't even find consolation and relief in the idea that I'd have CTB'ed soon. It has to happen rn or there can be no relief for me. It's come to an end for me and I want to stop existing so so bad.

Someone please say something to me. I am in so much pain.

 

[kelimackie]

hi, I feel your pain, I came to the same conclusion about my parents. it's going to hurt them, but me being here hurts even more. I wish you find the peace you're looking for

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Hey, I'm sorry you're hurting so much and life has been so so shitty to you. I hate that people who are in so much agony don't even have an easy way out of the hellhole that is this life. Society is fucked. I can only suggest researching other methods to ctb on here if you can't access the fent patches. I don't want to force you to do anything because ultimately what you do and when you do it is your choice. And you shouldn't feel guilty about your parents- they're the selfish ones for not understanding the absolute agony you're in and the fact it's hard enough to ctb as it is without them adding to it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's dreadful and torturous feeling so trapped in this existence, it's horrible how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace despite all the suffering existing causes. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.