Nephis

Nephis

“Death should take me while I am in the mood.”
Sep 3, 2018
280
When I say there is no hope for me I mean it, currently I'm being put on trial for something that happened when I was younger and currently that ball isn't
in my court. Today I just found out that they are probably allowed to use evidence that really is just a sure fire shot for me to be put in prison for a while.
my life is pretty much over after this, and I mean that in the most literal way possible, my chances of actually surviving any jail time is slim, the reason? I'm trans, most trans people are
sent to the prison that matches their assigned gender at birth. And well I'm MTF so that means I'm going to a male prison looking like a woman...statistics show that most who go to
prison this way are raped and beaten....I don't want to go through that, I don't want to, I really don't want to, and even if I tough it through that finding a job afterwards with that on my record will be next to impossible, my life is over...I want to die before then. I don't want to have to deal with the possibility of having a death worse than any botched suicide attempt. This is the U.S...We don't help people get better or help them back into society as a normal citizen, we punish them and put them through what is essentially slavery in the prison system and don't pay any attention for when someone keeps somehow ending up back in the prison system. This is my story, the start of my end that I don't want. I don't want to die, but I'd prefer dying any other way then the idea of what could happen to me. And I don't want to live through the things I will have to deal with afterwards. Thank you all for reading this far, I've been a member here for years, at one point when I was younger I was suicidal but I had gotten better, only to end up coming back for reasons I didn't even think would have happened, for a death I now have to seek that I never wanted, but I now need.
 
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Reactions: Rational man, cgrtt.brns, Source Energy and 2 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,946
That sounds like a really horrific situation to be trapped in, this world certainly is so hellish so I hope that you find the freedom you search for.
 
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Nephis

Nephis

“Death should take me while I am in the mood.”
Sep 3, 2018
280
How long do you have to go to jail?
Not sure yet, things aren't exactly very clear yet but I don't think it's looking good but even 1 year would be terrible
 
Georg

Georg

Experienced
Feb 25, 2023
263
even 1 year would be terrible
Yes, especially if you don't have anything to look forward after this year. Humans can go trough a lot of suffering for some time if they still have hope things are going to get better. But without any kind of hope, you only want to die
 
Caoine01

Caoine01

Experienced
Feb 23, 2023
212
Maybe you shouldn't see it so blackly. Of course, if you get in trouble with the law, you have to pay for it. You don't even have to do anything wrong for it. That with the MfF is of course stupid. The judiciary is just 50 years behind society. If your lawyer is smart, however, he will know how to use it for you. And finally, you will probably not be locked up immediately after the verdict, but will first be released again. I would definitely wait until then with the CTB.
 

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