Venting therapists are liars and I'm mad that I wasted my money & time on them (BPD related)

[glitterypearls]

I been in therapy for a long time, I was very active in BPD support type of places IRL and online on reddit. they kept saying how you can "recover" from BPD and how it's rare for a person with BPD to have suicidal thoughts. I thought it was my fault. I thought it was just me. till I joined here and realized that there is so many posts from people who have BPD. it's a common thing and it's not my fault. I'm going to quit therapy it never helped anyways but this opened my eyes on how they lie to us with their fake positivity and "just practice DBT and breathing exercises" what a load of bullshit lol

 

[Looking]

Weird they told you it was "rare" for borderline people to feel suicidal, counting the way the disorder causes emotional turmoil on the person.

I'm sorry to hear your experience with therapy being so.... so, so bad, and misguided and misinformed. I'm glad you found a community where you can find like-minded individuals.

 

[glitterypearls]

Weird they told you it was "rare" for borderline people to feel suicidal, counting the way the disorder causes emotional turmoil on the person.

I'm sorry to hear your experience with therapy being so.... so, so bad, and misguided and misinformed. I'm glad you found a community where you can find like-minded individuals.

they assume you can control your feelings and emotions. this disorder have so much stigma around it, everyone wanna act like it's easy and "let's be positive about it and don't forget your breathing exercises!" It's sad that it took me to reach a new low to find that it's not me, I'm not weak for not being able to control things. It's just the common experience if you don't have a perfect environment. thank you for your nice comment

 

[sadjenny]

Oh yes! I was diagnosed BPD when I was younger. I've been in therapy and on medication for 20+ years. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, tranquilizers, mood stabilizers. Boy howdy.

Therapy is useless for the core wound of most with BPD. It's my belief that DBT is largely for the benefit of other people in your life: making you more "manageable" or less "crazy". But still the torrent of pain and emotions is in you. You just learn to gaslight yourself that the suffering isn't so bad.

It isn't your fault you feel the way you do! You didn't choose it. It's not a personal failing.

 

[BasqueClown]

they kept saying how you can "recover" from BPD and how it's rare for a person with BPD to have suicidal thoughts.

Unfortunately they lied to you. A colleague of university died by suicide and a friend in common told me that she was diagnosed with BPD two years ago.
I know your frustration about the lying therapists and doctors. I recently discover that I was misdiagnosed and consequently make more harm than helping me. Also, reading the reviews on Google of the psych ward I was forced to entry, I'm not the only one who was mistreated there.
So I know and get your frustration because I feel kinda same thing. Psychiatry is a mess about getting the proper diagnosis.

 

[syl_stone]

In my country at least, therapists I've talked to never mentioned BPD not being assosiated with suicidal behaviors. The fact that BPD is "not forever" is true, though it doesn't mean that it's curable - most patients just stop experiencing symptoms closer to 40-50 yers, which is a terribly long time to wait. One of my friends who was diagnosed with BPD manages to function with her pills, though it is still painfully obvious that something is off with her. If have it in you to try to find another therapist, it might benefit you. But I know that sometimes it can be impossible.

 

[sadjenny]

I am bewildered that people are told BPD is not associated with suicidal thoughts. I thought it was even in the diagnostic criteria, though I could be wrong. I know it at least mentions a tendency toward self harm, and maybe that's what I'm thinking of.

 

[Toji]

i hated therapy, they always tried to give me the most pointless and ineffective solutions.
writing in mood boards and tracking your moods, i honestly don't even know how to describe my moods some days i feel completely emotionless some days i just wanna cry until i can't no more.
another reason i hated them was i always had to keep switching therapists they always had me explain my situation over and over until i got so tired i stopped going. it felt so repetitive there wasn't any actual help or advice, the "help" more about asking why i feel like this my answer "i don't know" because i truly don't know.
they said all of their meetings are one to one and confidential so i told them about all of my thoughts and how i harm myself which completely backfired and ended with me being forced into a mental institution for a whole month and family finding out about what's been going on with me, which gave me severe trust issues and never attended therapy again, the mental institution traumatised me making me even worse the staff was verbally abusive and the constant screaming from other patients was enough to give me night terrors for a while. in the end all the therapists did to "help" me was just give me a strong antidepressant prescription which did nothing at all but make my emotionless state even worse.

 

[DerOesi]

I have the same thoughts about therapy. I feel like therapists dont really care about youre wellbeing and just give vague anwers. Talking to friends and relatives helped me much more tbh.

 

[JudasIscariot]

Suicidal thoughts in those suffering with BPD is absolutely common, not rare at all; suicidal tendancies and fixations in Borderlines is referred to as a "way of life" due to how intense the thoughts regarding suicide are. DBT is an awful therapy that only does more harm than good. There is a method used to identify cults, referred to as the BITE model; it describes the level of influence that cults have on the mind of a vulnerable person. DBT literally fits the BITE model. It's absolutely disgusting and I can only hope that such harmful therapies are outlawed soon enough. Sorry you've had this experience.

Oh yes! I was diagnosed BPD when I was younger. I've been in therapy and on medication for 20+ years. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, tranquilizers, mood stabilizers. Boy howdy.

Therapy is useless for the core wound of most with BPD. It's my belief that DBT is largely for the benefit of other people in your life: making you more "manageable" or less "crazy". But still the torrent of pain and emotions is in you. You just learn to gaslight yourself that the suffering isn't so bad.

It isn't your fault you feel the way you do! You didn't choose it. It's not a personal failing.

Definitely agree with this. Most psychiatric prescriptions and therapies, especially when pertaining to BPD or other severe disorders, are only for the benefit of others. DBT sounds incredibly harmful, literally seems like those in DBT have to "trick" themselves into feeling a different way, which is fundamentally flawed. Notice how DBT never applies to any abusers, only those who are suffering. I find "radical acceptance" pretty disgusting too, as it forces patients of DBT to shove their feelings down for the benefit of others. DBT is awful, useless. You illustrated a lot of my thoughts in your comment!

 

[Danielwc]

Most therapists and Dr's have no personal experience, they will just do courses and/or read books. They become convinced that makes them experts and nothing you say may contradict them. Mental health treatment is still in its infancy and full of outdated ideas. They are not yet listening to patients and finding out what works and what doesn't. In the U.S. there are around 132 suicides a day and rising, I'd say that's a real pandemic. Whatever these health professionals are doing it isn't working.

 

[spacehardware]

Therapy is useless for the core wound of most with BPD. It's my belief that DBT is largely for the benefit of other people in your life: making you more "manageable" or less "crazy". But still the torrent of pain and emotions is in you. You just learn to gaslight yourself that the suffering isn't so bad.

I've been through 18 months of dbt and this is spot on. My pain is still unmeasurable, my trauma hasn't gone anywhere, the visibility of my emotions is simply subdued. I am less of a drain on the system because I don't wind up in a&e constantly needing treatment for self harm. Imo burying my emotions the way dbt taught me to has only served to make me more suicidal. My coping mechanisms, albeit destructive, kept me alive for a long time. I'll be much less of a drain on the system soon, ctb pending.

 

[sadjenny]

Notice how DBT never applies to any abusers, only those who are suffering.

Tremendously powerful statement.

 

[Zetsubou]

They seriously told you that? I don't even have BPD and I thought it was common knowledge that it causes suicidal ideation. I'm sorry your therapists failed you.

 

[JudasIscariot]

Tremendously powerful statement.

Thanks so much, you too illustrated my beliefs in your comment. It's sad that there is only a minority of people that sees DBT as the abusive cult that it is.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I readed about the therapy method you mentioned - I don't think it's useful because the traumatic episodes can be quite intense. What might actually help, is to relive those past moments when you felt those feelings for the first time. I have succefully used this method myself, and journaled about it a lot:

 

[EndlessNight]

Therapist is one of the most useless professions out there. They solve almost nothing that you would if you talked to any other person and the fact that you have to pay to talk to them makes everything robotic and cold. I only see my psychiatrist/therapist because I need medication, but other than that I don't see any use on them and all the advice they gives to me dont help at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

Therapy just sounds like a way to profit from people's suffering to me, a complete waste of time, I'm not even surprised that you found it to be useless.

 

[Dominicka]

I been in therapy for a long time, I was very active in BPD support type of places IRL and online on reddit. they kept saying how you can "recover" from BPD and how it's rare for a person with BPD to have suicidal thoughts. I thought it was my fault. I thought it was just me. till I joined here and realized that there is so many posts from people who have BPD. it's a common thing and it's not my fault. I'm going to quit therapy it never helped anyways but this opened my eyes on how they lie to us with their fake positivity and "just practice DBT and breathing exercises" what a load of bullshit lol

Wow. You were told it's rare for BPD'ers to be suicidal? What a crock of shit. I hate the medical community so gd much.

 

[theboy]

I don't think psychiatry and therapies are nonsense. It is true that many treatments and diagnoses are wrong. Besides, the classic "Big Pharma" conspiracy theory does not do the pharmaceutical industry any favours. However, it has been proven scientifically (and from patients' opinions) that it has helped them to overcome or treat mental problems.

 

[warmsand]

I don't think psychiatry and therapies are nonsense. It is true that many treatments and diagnoses are wrong. Besides, the classic "Big Pharma" conspiracy theory does not do the pharmaceutical industry any favours. However, it has been proven scientifically (and from patients' opinions) that it has helped them to overcome or treat mental problems.

agreed for the most part. therapy is useful for most "normal" people or people who have support systems and reasons to live. in other words, people who really are just suffering from a chemical imbalance and nothing more.

in my opinion, the idea that therapy is useful for everyone is BS. lots of suicidal people are just dissatisfied with things outside of their control. their disorders, their minds, the way they view the world, the way the world views them, etc. no amount of therapy can fix those things.

 

[theboy]

agreed for the most part. therapy is useful for most "normal" people or people who have support systems and reasons to live. in other words, people who really are just suffering from a chemical imbalance and nothing more.

in my opinion, the idea that therapy is useful for everyone is BS. lots of suicidal people are just dissatisfied with things outside of their control. their disorders, their minds, the way they view the world, the way the world views them, etc. no amount of therapy can fix those things.

It is true
People who claim that no therapy works for them is because it doesn't really work for them but the doctors insist that they continue to live. It is unfortunate.

¿What is BS?

 

[warmsand]

¿What is BS?

BS is short for bullshit haha

 

[theboy]

BS is short for bullshit haha

ah okay

 

[Viranamari]

It's odd that they said most people with BPD aren't suicidal. If anything, it might be the opposite. Therapy is rarely useful so I'm not too surprised you didn't benefit from it. They say things like," You can only change if you wan to change," but in reality, it's way more difficult than that. Their advice barely helps and personally, only the medication might be useful. Anyways, I hope things get better.

 

[shinohara]

I was suggested DBT since I apparently have "borderline tendencies" (ie. self harm and "emotional dysregulation") and it was so god damn awful. CBT is pretty useless (for me) and EDMR was kind of just nothing.
ofc there's a million other therapy styles you could try but I don't really blame you if you're fed up with it

 

[chocolatebar]

how it's rare for a person with BPD to have suicidal thoughts

What? It's literally the condition with the highest suicide rates.