Therapist wanting me to go on walks.

[Redleaf1992]

Hey all,

Not sure on the point of this post, guess I'm just ranting.

I've been seeing this psychologist for little while now, and I do like her she seems really knowledgable about psychology etc.

One thing she pushes me to do is to go on a walk everyday to interact with the real world etc etc. which I totally get and understand.

I feel though that she doesn't realise it's sometimes easier said than done. Like for most people its really easy but have Im low its really hard to push myself particary after a long day.

I usually go on a walk just outside of the town centre but the river has recently flooded the park outside where I walk. I told her this, and she mentioned that she needed to walk her dog so I drove somewhere else. I know how walks flipping work, but it was hard enough pushing myself to walk round the park nvm go drive somewhere.

I guess perhaps she doesn't understand how it actually feels when depressed, just understand the psychology well. It just makes me feels embarrassed or ashamed when I say I didn't go on a walk ok X days, feels like I'm a kid not done my home work.

Like past few days I failed to go on a walk (Barely out of bed yesterday), and I think I'll just lie rather than say failed again.

Anyone had similiar with their therapists?

 

[chester]

Have you told your therapist all this? If so, how did she react? The harsh truth is not every therapist is right for everyone. I'm not saying this is the case, but it might be.

 

[imahauntu]

I would if ilI could, go for it reflection cleara your mind

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I think EVERY therapist suggests to take a walk. It must be one of the first things they learned in school. Easier said than done. I don't even want to leave the house

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I guess perhaps she doesn't understand how it actually feels when depressed, just understand the psychology well.

That's a bit like the hen and egg problem - what comes first? I understand how difficult it is to get up and do sth - there are benefits for us when we go outside and have a relaxed walk, it's certainly sth positive in the long run. But what comes first?

It's a vicious cycle that is so difficult to break up.

 

[YouLookSoCool]

Tbf you do feel better after taking a walk, I'm trying to get out for a 3km walk on my lunch break, like that's only 30mins out of my 24hr day! But like you say, easier said than done I've done nothing all day, but binge, doing as little as possible at work and just waiting for 5pm

 

[-Link-]

I guess perhaps she doesn't understand how it actually feels when depressed, just understand the psychology well. It just makes me feels embarrassed or ashamed when I say I didn't go on a walk ok X days, feels like I'm a kid not done my home work.

Like past few days I failed to go on a walk (Barely out of bed yesterday), and I think I'll just lie rather than say failed again.

It is critically important in therapy to be as honest and forthcoming as possible. I encourage you to tell her the full truth of whatever you're unable to do. Really think about this and consider what thoughts or feelings are blocking you from doing what you had set out to do. The answer to this is more than "barely being out of bed" -- you want to try to figure out the thought processes and physical reasons why you were barely out of bed on a particular day.

I'd also suggest telling her you're feeling embarrassed or ashamed about this to a point where you're hesitant about communicating it at all. The embarrassment and shame -- even with a therapist, of all people -- is an important component in the bigger picture of what all you're dealing with.

The therapist needs to know these things in order to be in the best position to be able to help you.

You're not "failing" at all here. The very fact you're posting about this here is an indication you're taking it seriously. And that you've identified these feelings of embarrassment and shame -- these are important insights that you've figured out, so obviously you've been giving this a lot of thought. What more could anyone ask of you?

 

[Hvergelmir]

I guess perhaps she doesn't understand how it actually feels when depressed, just understand the psychology well. It just makes me feels embarrassed or ashamed when I say I didn't go on a walk ok X days, feels like I'm a kid not done my home work.

I think you're better off being honest about it.
Lying will just tell her that she's successful in pushing you into more healthy habits.

You're most likely better off trying to follow the suggestions to the best of your ability. Taking walks won't solve everything, but it's readily available for free. Consider it a healthy activity at your disposal, rather than a duty. Do push yourself, but there's no need to apply unhealthy amounts of pressure.

 

[Life_and_Death]

It just makes me feels embarrassed or ashamed when I say I didn't go on a walk ok X days, feels like I'm a kid not done my home work.

hey, i wanted to tell you that its ok, that thats normal. i think that your mindset alone is a huge improvement and something to be proud of. you want to, youre trying and thats amazing even if you arent entirely succeeding to the extent you feel you should be.

i personally found this to be the answer for me an eating/mental health in general. yeah i should be eating, yeah its good for me. but sometimes (a lot of times) its not that easy. my mind falls back down into its "im not interested" pit. my body rejects from not enough food, "too much" food, or just too much of the same foods. and sometimes id take breaks from eating that would cause me to get sick (again...)
but because i started taking it easy on myself "well at least i tried" i found it to be easier. it doesnt fix itself over night but i am starting to eat better more frequently

so i just wanted to drop by and congratulate you on your self awareness. i know it might not feel like it, but youre doing really good.

 

[Redleaf1992]

Thank you everyone for the responses!

Have you told your therapist all this? If so, how did she react? The harsh truth is not every therapist is right for everyone. I'm not saying this is the case, but it might be.

I do like my therapist had so many therapists who couldn't help me at all, at least this one feels really knowledgeable. Guess I just wish she didn't make it seem like these were things I should be able to do with no problems. She wanted/suggested I read this specific book and I'm just thinking to myself that I can rarely motivate myself to play a video game never mind read a educational book. But then part of the reason I like her is that she is less affirmative and more straight, I cant stand therapists who give you that soft calming voice like makes me feel life a victim or child, so guess it's all part of the compromise.

That's a bit like the hen and egg problem - what comes first? I understand how difficult it is to get up and do sth - there are benefits for us when we go outside and have a relaxed walk, it's certainly sth positive in the long run. But what comes first?

It's a vicious cycle that is so difficult to break up.

Yeah for sure, I do at times I get out of the cycle and go for walks for a number of days straight, and it is easier to stay active when your already active. But I guess one bad moment/tired day and you can end up on the couch not wanting to move again, stuck in the cycle.

It is critically important in therapy to be as honest and forthcoming as possible. I encourage you to tell her the full truth of whatever you're unable to do. Really think about this and consider what thoughts or feelings are blocking you from doing what you had set out to do. The answer to this is more than "barely being out of bed" -- you want to try to figure out the thought processes and physical reasons why you were barely out of bed on a particular day.

I'd also suggest telling her you're feeling embarrassed or ashamed about this to a point where you're hesitant about communicating it at all. The embarrassment and shame -- even with a therapist, of all people -- is an important component in the bigger picture of what all you're dealing with.

The therapist needs to know these things in order to be in the best position to be able to help you.

You're not "failing" at all here. The very fact you're posting about this here is an indication you're taking it seriously. And that you've identified these feelings of embarrassment and shame -- these are important insights that you've figured out, so obviously you've been giving this a lot of thought. What more could anyone ask of you?

I think you're better off being honest about it.
Lying will just tell her that she's successful in pushing you into more healthy habits.

You're most likely better off trying to follow the suggestions to the best of your ability. Taking walks won't solve everything, but it's readily available for free. Consider it a healthy activity at your disposal, rather than a duty. Do push yourself, but there's no need to apply unhealthy amounts of pressure.

Thanks both, i'll try to be honest just feel like I'm having to answer why I didnt do it to a teacher lol. Honestly I try to be honest about most things, I do beleive that therapy doesnt work unless you can be open about your experinces - it only really SS/SN and the dose of HRT im taking that I really lie about. I'm pretty bad at being able to express my emotions, saying I feel embarrased/ashamed about somthing their involved in I feel really uncorfomatable with - but will try to be open where I can, just used too much to bottling everything I suppose.

Defnitlety trying to walk consitently and follow her other suggestions, just the feels when I mess up.

Tbf you do feel better after taking a walk, I'm trying to get out for a 3km walk on my lunch break, like that's only 30mins out of my 24hr day! But like you say, easier said than done I've done nothing all day, but binge, doing as little as possible at work and just waiting for 5pm

It's kinda a mix bag for me. Most of the time getting the fresh air, being active etc does help and improve my mood. It can sometimes have the opposite if I'm feeling particarly bad it gives me time to dwell on my thoughts and problems, which just raises my hoplesness and intent to CTB. Good luck with your walks! I know the feeling of watching the time count down to 5 lol.

hey, i wanted to tell you that its ok, that thats normal. i think that your mindset alone is a huge improvement and something to be proud of. you want to, youre trying and thats amazing even if you arent entirely succeeding to the extent you feel you should be.

i personally found this to be the answer for me an eating/mental health in general. yeah i should be eating, yeah its good for me. but sometimes (a lot of times) its not that easy. my mind falls back down into its "im not interested" pit. my body rejects from not enough food, "too much" food, or just too much of the same foods. and sometimes id take breaks from eating that would cause me to get sick (again...)
but because i started taking it easy on myself "well at least i tried" i found it to be easier. it doesnt fix itself over night but i am starting to eat better more frequently

so i just wanted to drop by and congratulate you on your self awareness. i know it might not feel like it, but youre doing really good.

Thank you that means alot! Yeah I'll try to look more at the times I did manage to go out as success and not letting myself dwell on the failures. Guess it's just when it hits therapy saying I didnt got out on certain days kinda highlights those failures. Thank you again!

 

[-Link-]

I'm pretty bad at being able to express my emotions, saying I feel embarrased/ashamed about somthing their involved in I feel really uncorfomatable with - but will try to be open where I can, just used too much to bottling everything I suppose.

I hear you in a very big way about this. I used to feel embarrassed and ashamed about even attending therapy at all -- just showing up to the office or entering the building, let alone actually speaking of it to another human being. This was the primary reason I went so many years before accepting treatment. In the end, this delay probably cost me dearly because my issues worsened in the interim. I feel like if I'd just been able to open up and let myself be vulnerable sooner, maybe I would have had a better chance in life? I don't know.

What comes to mind about this is that if you're able to open up about your emotions, then theoretically, the therapist will react and handle it in a way that shows you they're a safe person to be vulnerable with. It builds that rapport between you, and then you (again theoretically) become more comfortable opening up to them further. I qualify this by saying "theoretically" just in case you happen to have a bad therapist. Otherwise, though, it strengthens the therapist-patient relationship, reinforces that foundation of trust and safety, and fosters a dynamic more conducive to meaningful progress.

But I know it's a huge leap to make, and this would be especially so if you've been burned by other trusted people in the past.

Also, I feel like I'm putting all the onus on you here. It's also the responsibility of the therapist to work with a patient in identifying the underlying reasons and emotions that led them to seek therapy in the first place. So don't put too much pressure on yourself!

The level of insight and introspection that you're sharing with us here: This doesn't come easy. I hope you give yourself credit for being able to identify it within yourself at all, let alone also being able to articulate it to us here.

You make me feel proud for you, and I'm wishing you the best with this.

 

[chester]

i'll try to be honest just feel like I'm having to answer why I didnt do it to a teacher lol. Honestly I try to be honest about most things, I do beleive that therapy doesnt work unless you can be open about your experinces - it only really SS/SN and the dose of HRT im taking that I really lie about. I'm pretty bad at being able to express my emotions, saying I feel embarrased/ashamed about somthing their involved in I feel really uncorfomatable with - but will try to be open where I can, just used too much to bottling everything I suppose.

This must be hard, I can imagine how it can make you feel. I have to admit though that you've done a very good job at describing your emotions in this thread. I think it would help her help you better if you told here about it in the very same words. About how it makes you feel when you admit to her that you didn't do something and why.

 

[notwhereIbelong]

If I may toss in my two cents, in addition to what everyone has said already; my therapist told me to do the exact same thing, but we approached it a bit differently. Instead of starting immediately with going out every day, I started with once a week. There was no requirement regarding how much I was supposed to walk either, sometimes I would (and still do) just walk around the block once. Once I got used to doing it once a week, I tried doing it twice, then every other day. What's important is that there is no penalty for skipping a day, sometimes I'll get out of the door and decide that, actually, I don't feel like being outside, so I'll just go back inside, and that's fine.
Sure, taking a long walk every day would be great, but the reality is that you don't always feel like it, and there's shouldn't be any shame in that. Another suggestion she gave me was, instead of just walking around aimlessly, to pick a couple of shops or places that interested me and visit those (I live in a city, so if that's not the case for you this suggestion is kind of moot).
The short of it is, do it gradually, once a week, twice a week, and so on. And if some days you just don't feel like it, that's fine, that's just how things go sometimes.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Walks are overrated. I've had doctors and therapists tell me to do the same before but even when I consistently went on two hour walks in my neighborhood at least four times every week, it did absolutely Jack for my suicidality or depression. If anything, the walls just gave me more time to post on this forum. Most of my thousands and thousands of posts were made while on a walk. Nowadays I don't take these walks at all because there have been confirmed sightings of Lyme disease carrying ticks in my neighborhood.

People who tell you this advice don't actually care about fixing it, unless your issues can actually be fixed from walking alone then walking is pretty useless all around. I didn't even get any health benefits from walking because it just made me extra hungry for extra calories plus even with allergy medication, I would still have my pollen allergy to contend with in the spring and summer.