Ende
Too bad
- Oct 4, 2025
- 2
It's my first time posting something on this website or talking about my feelings in general, so I feel a little bit anxious. My first language also isn't English, sorry for any spelling mistakes.
I'm a fat, ugly and introverted useless piece of shit loser that can't accomplish anything in life. I don't have a job anymore, I never had a girlfriend, I'm not respected by the people around me, I only play video games 24/7, and my parents probably see me as a failure.
I'm just not a functioning human being and I don't fit into this system, I think there is actually something mentally wrong with me. Everyone around me is growing as a person, having relationships, good paying jobs and are fit while I've been left behind for years. I always try to shift the blame onto the people that bullied me as a child or being emotionally neglected by my father but, the choices I made until this point were ultimately my fault. I also wasted three years of my life doing something I never wanted to do.
I could've changed but I decided to give up over and over and over again, until I even lost trust in myself, so I just stopped caring completely. I always make up excuses like the weak minded asshole I am.
Everyday just feels so bland and boring, I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Just thinking about the future, and how horrible things will get if I don't do anything, makes me want to ctb. I feel bad for even thinking about being depressed, lots of people have it way worse than me. They have real problems, real traumas and actual reasons to feel this way, while I'm exaggerating and crying over the smallest problems.
I'm planning to ctb in two weeks, using the Ligature Strangulation Method but i don't know if I will actually go through with it. Even posting this makes me feel like an attention seeking bitch.
I'm a fat, ugly and introverted useless piece of shit loser that can't accomplish anything in life. I don't have a job anymore, I never had a girlfriend, I'm not respected by the people around me, I only play video games 24/7, and my parents probably see me as a failure.
I'm just not a functioning human being and I don't fit into this system, I think there is actually something mentally wrong with me. Everyone around me is growing as a person, having relationships, good paying jobs and are fit while I've been left behind for years. I always try to shift the blame onto the people that bullied me as a child or being emotionally neglected by my father but, the choices I made until this point were ultimately my fault. I also wasted three years of my life doing something I never wanted to do.
I could've changed but I decided to give up over and over and over again, until I even lost trust in myself, so I just stopped caring completely. I always make up excuses like the weak minded asshole I am.
Everyday just feels so bland and boring, I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Just thinking about the future, and how horrible things will get if I don't do anything, makes me want to ctb. I feel bad for even thinking about being depressed, lots of people have it way worse than me. They have real problems, real traumas and actual reasons to feel this way, while I'm exaggerating and crying over the smallest problems.
I'm planning to ctb in two weeks, using the Ligature Strangulation Method but i don't know if I will actually go through with it. Even posting this makes me feel like an attention seeking bitch.
