Venting The world is so messed up

[endless_pain]

This place seems so hellish to me, and messed up.
People that have fun while there is people rotting in their own room isolated. I know that pain is with you even when the source is not haunting you anymore.
I mean they are not accountable for our sufference, but there is people who experience real happiness, they feel safe, loved and live the life. I know this exists. I am not referring just to people that have fun and then they rot again in their sufference. There is also fun to distract yourself, I do not mean that.
Even if I heal, I don't even know how should I suppose to be happy one day if I am in a world where there is so much pain, and I have experienced it. Seems so selfish. But like animals where they catch their own prey to survive, how the world is set up seems quite cruel for me. This is thinking to an existential level.
I don't understand how I am supposed to be here. It's not possible to resolve how the world is set, I don't see the point to do anything else living knowing this lie that they tell us.
They always look at the symptom, never at the root cause of someone's sufference. This is the lie. The circle restricts so much at this point. Society that contributes to the worst of humanity, just thinking about the victim blaming and gaslighting for example.
I see too much things apparently, wish I could be stupid at this point, but it would make no sense anyway.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do view the existence of life as being a cruel, horrific mistake, it's really impossible to comprehend the amount of suffering that has been experienced in the past and will do in the future as long as life so cruelly continues to be brought here.

To me this world could never be a desirable or appealing place to exist in, there is far too much endless pain and suffering that has been experienced all for no reason, I certainly have the awareness to recognise that existence is nothing more than an unnecessary harm. This world undeniably is so hellish which is why I would personally always see it as being preferable to not exist at all.

 

[FrostedHoax]

This plays a large part in my reason for wanting to CTB. Even if my life were to magically start getting better in every way and I were to start achieving my goals and dreams, I don't think I'd be able to relax and peacefully live my life in a world as horrible as this one. No matter how good my life is going, I think I'm just hardwired to obsess over the bleak state of the world and how there's nothing I can do as an individual to help put this world on the path to a brighter future.