the world is a worse place because of me

[wildflowers1996]

i try to convince myself otherwise but i'm sure it is
i keep thinking about how my parents sent me to private school - which i hated anyway - and thinking what a WASTE of money???? it makes me feel so guilty to think about.
That money could've been given to charity
It's not like having a "better" education has made me do beneficial things for the world
every time money is used on me or people use their time on me I feel so guilty

And I'm sure I made my mum's life worse by being born????? all I do is cause her stress for being so mentally ill??? and I've caused so many other problems

I was hateful to someone who I thought had been really cruel to me but they weren't cruel I just thought they were but I'm sure I actually deserved to be treated "badly" by them or expected too much from them so I shouldn't have reacted how I did

I'm self centred too ugh and I don't even know if I care???? like it FEELS like I feel horribly guilty and I /hope/ that's because I regret causing people so many problems but maybe I just don't like feeling ashamed of myself or I think I'll be punished somehow and I'm just being selfish again?

why am I always so focused on my own stupid problems
I do try to be there for other people but it's just never enough

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

It's your parents who decided to have children and send you to private school, so therefore not your fault.
It's not your fault you are mentally ill, and focusing on your own problems is also a symptom of mental illness.
I honestly wouldn't be too harsh on yourself because all of these things were, and are out of your control.
Yet, I can understand your feelings of guilt.
I hope you can take it easier on yourself, you deserve to be free from these thoughts.
And I doubt the world is a worse place because of you.

 

[ColdPhoenix]

You are the main character of my own story. It's normal for you to care about your own problems more than anyone else's problems.
As a violent perfectionist myself, I feel overwhelmed by shame and regret for every little thing. But I wasn't born to be of service to someone or to please a particular person. I was born to seek out my best interests and be successful. I don't think I'm competent enough to actually do that (which is the cause of my own problems). But I wouldn't apologize for feeling self-centered. The most successful people prioritize themselves, and that's how they get ahead. Utilize the resources others provide for you.

 

[Meditation guide]

i try to convince myself otherwise but i'm sure it is
i keep thinking about how my parents sent me to private school - which i hated anyway - and thinking what a WASTE of money???? it makes me feel so guilty to think about.
That money could've been given to charity
It's not like having a "better" education has made me do beneficial things for the world
every time money is used on me or people use their time on me I feel so guilty

And I'm sure I made my mum's life worse by being born????? all I do is cause her stress for being so mentally ill??? and I've caused so many other problems

I was hateful to someone who I thought had been really cruel to me but they weren't cruel I just thought they were but I'm sure I actually deserved to be treated "badly" by them or expected too much from them so I shouldn't have reacted how I did

I'm self centred too ugh and I don't even know if I care???? like it FEELS like I feel horribly guilty and I /hope/ that's because I regret causing people so many problems but maybe I just don't like feeling ashamed of myself or I think I'll be punished somehow and I'm just being selfish again?

why am I always so focused on my own stupid problems
I do try to be there for other people but it's just never enough

You gave yourself the name wildflowers and you are beautiful, I can tell. You have it all wrong about yourself. You're a very lovely person. You are being terribly hard on yourself. You do the best you can and stop worrying about all those things you mentioned.

 

[hellispink]

Your only responsability are your actions. Other people miseries are not your problem. The world doesn't revolve around you. You existing or not existing doesn't make anything worse or better. One exists or one doesn't , one or the other. But if it makes you feel better, all humans are shitty , even those who help the dogs in the street. All of us