NSFW The woman I dated wanted me to brag with her degree in sex education to my male friends

[noname223]

I am not sure whether it counts as relationship. We both said it felt like being in a relationship because we act like that. We had sexual exchanges but no intercourse.

I tend to say in Dating that this was my first relationship. I am not sure though. Never been in a relationship can be seen as red flag.

She Was very much into Sex. Sent me nudes all the time, wanted to talk with me about my kinks, she probably had a higher body count (19) as the rest of my 9 friends combined.

My closest college friend is pretty into sex too I think. I sometimes feel inferior. I dodged the topic with him. I think He noticed that. The woman I Was in a sort of relationship urged me to tell him about her degree in sex education. I negotiated something different because she wanted me to deliver it without context. Instead I sent him the list of Sex questions her Students harrassed her with. She accepted that. I told other less Sex obsessed friends about the Sex education degree though. One reason why I did not tell it my college friend I already anticipated we will never have Sex and I don't want to let him know I am virgin.

Last Saturday I revealed to my college friend with what she urged me to do. He was sort of confused why she demanded that. His first theory was he shall teach me how to do it right with her because I am so inexperienced. My therapist even had the absurd and very unlikely theory she ghosted me because I was so sexually inexperienced. Which is bogus and this theory would certainly undermine my self-confidence. To be honest I think she liked most of the things I did sexually. She said to me how wet she Was and even let me feel it. However, in Kissing I was a disaster. I admit that. Personally, I think she ghosted me because she has Borderline and has such a pattern of behavior with countless of men. I think in her world I pressured her into intimacy which is absurd because she initiated all of that and I was Extremely careful and asked for allowance before any step.

Back to the story. Why did she want me to brag with that to my friends? I think it boosted her self-esteem and she felt more attractive when I did that. She wanted to be seen as the hot highly sexual gf of mine where all my friends get jealous. The irony is I told my friends about what she did because she wanted it. And some weeks afterwards she Was angry with me because I actually did it. Except my college friend in my friend group we define us less about having Sex which is I think healthy.

 

[limpimitation]

Sounds like you've been through something that was intense and really hard to process. From what you've described, I'd say it does count as a kind of relationship. It may not have had the label, but there was emotional closeness and intimacy.

Feeling insecure about sexual experience is really common, especially when people around you seem more experienced or open about it. But being sexually cautious doesn't make you less valid, it makes you discerning.

As for why she wanted you to tell your friends...it probably did boost her sense of desirability or control, especially if that was part of how she valued herself. But then getting angry afterward… that sounds like inconsistency or emotional volatility, and it's not on you. You were trying to honor what she asked.

Honestly, the way you've reflected on all of this shows how deeply you care about doing right by others and understanding yourself. That's a strength, not a flaw. Don't let one confusing or painful situation define your sense of worth or capability in relationships.

 

[noname223]

Sounds like you've been through something that was intense and really hard to process. From what you've described, I'd say it does count as a kind of relationship. It may not have had the label, but there was emotional closeness and intimacy.

Feeling insecure about sexual experience is really common, especially when people around you seem more experienced or open about it. But being sexually cautious doesn't make you less valid, it makes you discerning.

As for why she wanted you to tell your friends...it probably did boost her sense of desirability or control, especially if that was part of how she valued herself. But then getting angry afterward… that sounds like inconsistency or emotional volatility, and it's not on you. You were trying to honor what she asked.

Honestly, the way you've reflected on all of this shows how deeply you care about doing right by others and understanding yourself. That's a strength, not a flaw. Don't let one confusing or painful situation define your sense of worth or capability in relationships.

Thank you very much for this kind and thoughtful reply. Sendling hugs and love :)