So at some point in writing this ADHD, hyper focused, useless, biased, opinionated reply of mine, I realized I probably needed to put in bolded font sections so it's easier to read. Sorry if I derailed, maybe went overboard. I think I probably could've tried to talk about being accepted as far as looks themselves go, and relationships. But I feel like it already goes all over the place because I @ 3 people instead of just the original topic. So yeah my bad. Who knows, maybe everything I said is rtrded and controversial and derailed, and I shouldn't have, idk, I'm ADHD and also a part time idiot so yeah lol.
TLDR: [Opinion] - "Conforming to be accepted and therefore, successful" is being phased out of modern society, because of people making and literally being the changes they want in the world or specifically fighting against that kind of thinking.
A very quick thread , but what I mean is that to be accepted as part of a crowd , you usually have to accept their beliefs and act out their nastiness or arrogance or even liking a certain type of music
To get a girl , you have to do a lot of the above what I just mentioned . You will not be accepted as you are
A lot of people's perception's or what they like or do not like are in my opinion mostly influenced by the media and / or television programmes , movies or music
I have witnessed people admit that first hand
As Mike Smith said , the world is not the way it was intended to be or the way it should be { the latter of you are a atheist }
That is the most prominent reason I think that I want to leave the world
Sorry got the silly and simple rant
FKING WITH THE SYSTEM & BEING HONEST
I've figured out a good balance where I can just be the friendliest person you'll know but also not give a fk about anything. I find it hilarious personally. I went to a Christian school when I was
much younger, not by choice, and I was mocked and made fun of and fked with for not coming from the school originally and not being part of their beliefs. So to them I was the one standing out who didn't fit in with the crowd or group because I didn't match their ideals... So.... I told them openly I was an atheist, although I understand now that what I did was extremely rude and morally questionable, and obviously I wouldn't do it now, at least not so obviously, I got good grades, passed all my classes, and never got into trouble. I was forced to be accepted because they couldn't find a reason not to. when you do something better or more efficient in society than someone of the original group, it really makes them question
why they don't accept you. Like if you give them a reason then ok, and granted not everyone can push themselves to constantly try to "achieve" to make a point to people. So yeah the argument of "you won't be accepted unless you do x and x" is still there. Meaning, yes it's possible in many cases that people won't accept you if you just say "Hi, this is me". But rather you have to do something unique or extra for that acceptance, which is a flaw in society and unfortunate. But my point was that you can set certain safeguards for yourself if you want people to accept you all while being completely different and outstanding from the "crowd". At the end of the day, you can be successful and have any opinion you want. But it's true you will suffer a bit and it will be harder to attain. One of the main thought processes that I was interested in was that we live for such a short time, that we should make the most of it. I was always kind of against that thinking at first, and find myself distancing from it as my life gets worse, but I've always been against anything that was set in place and widely "accepted" without anyone questioning it. So when I turned 18, I just realized I needed to stop caring about what others think in order to be happy. So I did lol. I wear whatever I want, I'll tell people I play games, watch anime, and do nothing all day. I cook, I clean, I paint, I sing. I listen to k-pop, jpop, edm, techno, rap, pop, hip hop, dubstep, hardbass, jazz, literally everything. Everything I own is black because I like the dark colors. When I was younger I thought painting nails was awesome, and I love pink clothes. I stayed to myself and didn't talk much. I always had my head in a book. I didn't make eye contact and kept my head down. So I was kinda all over the place, you can see this already puts me into different categories to help people more easily identify me and just how much of an "outcast" I'd be made into. But I realized that If people wanna stay surface then cool, they're really not anyone I want as a friend anyways, but if people wanna actually get to know you in life, then they will, and that part is how I've one of my best friends currently in the world. Lots of people are just closed off too, so unfortunately, to form meaningful relationships with some people, you gotta really dig for it. Personally in response to the original topic, I think the reasons and experiences I told are some reasons that make me believe it's less important to fit in with any given "crowd" or that it's too much effort to try to appeal to everyone if that makes sense. But rather it's more important to find a "crowd" that you enjoy being with. Or maybe make your own group set apart from everything else. This is how movements and some of the most famous groups were started. They turned their outcast status into an exclusivity through success. They're lack of acceptance, literally made them successful, which is the greatest twist ever. And this can be attributed to the fact that so many people felt the same way. Hearing their stories, seeing who they were, how they came about, there's a reason people like rooting for the "underdog". People that hate the thinking of the original thread topic "to be accepted as part of a crowd , you usually have to accept their beliefs and act out their nastiness or arrogance or even liking a certain type of music." are
not the minority. Also it should be noted that "herd" mentality is dangerous in itself and lots of "crowds" have that. You'd be better off not going near them IMO anyways. As for honesty,
@Kramer like with you said, I think people should do it more. The thing is people say "I wish honesty was a more natural thing". But people get their feelings hurt really easily. Honesty in concept is great, honesty in practice makes people cry. There's definitely a line between insensitive and honest, but when people say "I just wish people were more blunt and honest" and then take everything personally, that's on them I believe. Back to the original topic quickly
"but what I mean is that to be accepted as part of a crowd , you usually have to accept their beliefs and act out their nastiness or arrogance or even liking a certain type of music". I do agree that this is present, this isn't a counter-argument to that, just an opinion on the topic, I'll cover in more detail why I think that this type of thinking is being phased out later and what it means for current acceptance on a wider "group" scale of individuals who aren't accepted in the typical way, banding together to form groups/movements like I mentioned before.
MODERN JOB PROCESS
To touch on the topic from
@WornOutLife When I used to have a job before Covid, I always had a good attitude and worked as hard as I could. I never left early and always tried to be on time. I was hired by a younger worker, who realized how stupid half the questions on an entry survey are. What I do or don't like doesn't have a direct impact on my work ethic. It's hilarious watching the bosses/shareholders who were much older really
want to fire me because of my lifestyle. And yet it made 0 sense to fire me over it when I was literally the best worker. So there are certain things you can do to really challenge the standards and societal norms, while not catching any flak, like safeguards for yourself, like I touched on earlier, perhaps do something no other worker does, do something no one in your class does. Make the individual part that separates you from the crowd, be something that is sought after and not ignored. Or maybe it could be in your personality. And for what it's worth, if someone of any age asked me a stupid question about anime or games or being lazy and how it relates to work. I'd literally just ask how that question has any impact while your on the job. Like what a stupid question "oh so you'll be lazy in work". Btch no ofc not I'd be working lmao. It's just an old way of thinking. Although there are a lot of people with beliefs that the current generation is "overly lazy" and "wants to work less for more" or is "entitled". There is perhaps truth to this, but it creates negative ways of thinking and stereotypes, which sucks. That stereotyped way of thinking might be what you encountered. My employer literally was like "Yeah and you gotta fill these online things out but literally I just put on the football game and drank beers while doing them". Most people realize how much effort and time is wasted on stupid sht, stupid questions for jobs and are adjusting their questions and expectations around it. Like to further explain, the forms showed how to do the tasks, but it's the typical "memorize and forget" model of tests. He realizes it's useless. The employer would rather have the person go to work the next day and spend 1h actually learning and doing the task, rather than just something they'll forget in a day. So yeah he was like "do whatever, get drunk, watch games, you can literally fill this out whenever you want". Just my opinion but I'm sorry you had to deal with that stupid bs of outdated thinking formats and stereotypes.
SUCCESS AND ACCEPTANCE, ONE AND THE SAME
@Now_And_Then you can also seriously fuck with the system by being successful in your own life on a small scale. The point of "to be successful you have to be accepted" can easily be reversed to "to be accepted, you have to be successful". But nothing defines that success more easily than how you present yourself. Although perhaps ridiculously, confidence is the one thing that people place on a pedestal when looking at another person, you could even apply it to relationships. If you're confident in your actions and beliefs, I'd say that's already a massive success as a person, people will see that and hear what you have to say. Success doesn't have to be the typical massive image everyone imagines. But I have realized that success in a lot of systems will be extremely hard to change. Seeing the world for how it is and all the flaws with it really increased my wish to die as I've grown up, especially probably the most notable case of this:
to be accepted as part of a crowd , you usually have to accept their beliefs and act out their nastiness or arrogance or even liking a certain type of music
Is easily found in politics, which is extremely discouraging. But I firmly believe that our generation is already changing what "is" or "isn't" ok or accepted. We literally define what the "system" is.
ACCEPTANCE IN MODERN SOCIETY
This is more on a "group" scale. More of beliefs and identities, but I think writing about body types or in-depth beliefs would take an entire essay and this is already ridiculously long. So Media and banks, politicians, news, can do whatever they want, but at the end of the day, the opinions of people will always persist. From what I've seen, our generation understands that something is fucked up with the system and they're less likely to just get info from 1 source and call it good. I've seen less bandwagoning and other bs with opinions from the media like you said. This could be from experience, location, or maybe age variables, but I think that younger people are more willing to stay open minded and hear each other's argument. Older generations, no offense, are very stuck in their ways from what I've experienced firsthand. Younger generations are more likely to try and stay laidback and let people have their opinions openly and hear each other out because we know what it's like growing up, dealing with so much stress, anxiety, broken education systems, dealing with needing to be accepted into a group to be successful. Just biting the bullet and nodding absently to opinions and beliefs you don't care about just so we can gain success. And no one who experienced that would wish that torture on anyone. Plus they're less likely to just take sht how it is. There's less of older teaching younger or even forcing their opinions/beliefs on others and instead younger learning with and from each other, and realizing what was wrong with the last 100 years that we've done. There's, I believe, a huge disconnect in culture and experiences from the last generations to this one. I personally think it's a good thing. I'm a big believer in questioning everything, and time will carry these changes in society through generations, just like changes with the acceptance of different sexuality, different beliefs, and even groups. Look at what happened with Aimee Stephen's Supreme Court Case. It was a huge win for Trans Rights in the workplace. The success of the #MeToo movement. Sexual and racial equality is a constant battle but we're getting there. Look at what Argentina did with legalizing abortions in a historically Catholic belief system. This stuff all happened in the last 15y or so. People are being gradually accepted for what they are, or rather even who or what they identify as, and there's less of a focus on the old ways of "you need to conform to be accepted" or "you need to be successful, or you need to agree with common beliefs to be successful, accepted". It is specifically because people are actively fighting against it that things are changing. I believe changes will continue happening, especially with our generations and even open minded people voting on these important issues, like the Abortion laws that just got passed in Argentina, or even getting more younger people into offices. I'm certain in the next 5-15y, there will be even more laws passed and widely accepted views and opinions. And one of the biggest reasons people are being accepted for who they are, is because people look like fucking assholes for not doing so, even if you're dealing with a typical "crowd". Most "crowds" are on board with a wider acceptance, so the smaller "crowds" can shut the fuck up and keep their bullying shit out of the world because they know people won't stand for it. We've literally reversed the system already. The same goes for bullying and racism. Back when my Dad was younger, he met with a black girl in his school, they started dating, would you like to guess what names they were called? See what happens if someone does that today, you better believe they getting a Twisted Tea to the face lol. It's because we've made it unacceptable to
not accept someone for who they are. We are literally the changes we want to see in the world, believe me, things are changing, It's just a shame that it takes so long. Anyways I just found your thread really interesting, sorry if I derailed or went overboard, or even missed the topic point completely, I'm an idiot. I hope you have a good day though. :)
