the urges are getting serious again

[immrw]

i get these vivid flashes in my head of slitting my wrists open or jumping in front of a train. and they're not really scaring me anymore. they feel peaceful?

i can't eat. i can't even force myself to eat. i'm lucky if i can get down one meal a day.

things are just nose diving and no one around me rly understands how serious this is. they all have their own shit going on.

 

[roxx]

i get these vivid flashes in my head of slitting my wrists open or jumping in front of a train. and they're not really scaring me anymore. they feel peaceful?

i can't eat. i can't even force myself to eat. i'm lucky if i can get down one meal a day.

things are just nose diving and no one around me rly understands how serious this is. they all have their own shit going on.

I know how it feels, I call it "the viper". When the "viper" is out, things got harder. Day passes slowly, nights are eternal. No eating, no drinking, just drugs (i'm very addictive to Xanax right now). I manage these days sleeping the most I can....taking 4 to 8 mg of Xanax to keep me sleeping. All those days I think the same: maybe I can reach the xanax limit today and day sleeping.....but it not that easy, unfortunatelly.