RedHates
Professional Victim
- Jun 21, 2023
- 130
There are currently 2 events that will undoubtedly make me CTB.
TW: rape
1. If anyone I'm close to dies.
I have had a problem with death since 2015. I usually block it out as best as I can, and I've even managed to convince myself that those people are still alive somehow. I avoid anything to do with them: their names, people who look similar, their passions and hobbies, their stories, their jobs. Even though I know the truth, it's so much easier to believe otherwise. But I have the feeling that the next person to die will surely push me over the edge. Every time I even think about one of my friends or family members dying, it gives me a crushing sense to CTB before any of it even has a chance of happening. I literally can't even bare the thought.
2. If I keep getting raped and end up pregnant.
I'm non binary but afab. I hate pretty much every part of my body but there is one person in particular that is obsessed with me. This person happens to be a family member that I hate with a firey passion. He rapes me practically every day and if I get infected with his demon spawn, I have already decided I will either kill myself on the spot or starve myself or something. I refuse to continue his bloodline that has done more harm to my family than anything else. I can't really leave because the physical abuse I get here is slightly more bearable than the abuse I get from my parents.
I actually don't like my family because of their religious and political stances. Of course everyone in my family is an uber christian conservative asshole. Which I guess would make point number 1 ridiculous, but I still can't bare to lose what little I have left. Maybe if I ever create the family I've always wanted, I could let my blood relatives go.
TW: rape
1. If anyone I'm close to dies.
I have had a problem with death since 2015. I usually block it out as best as I can, and I've even managed to convince myself that those people are still alive somehow. I avoid anything to do with them: their names, people who look similar, their passions and hobbies, their stories, their jobs. Even though I know the truth, it's so much easier to believe otherwise. But I have the feeling that the next person to die will surely push me over the edge. Every time I even think about one of my friends or family members dying, it gives me a crushing sense to CTB before any of it even has a chance of happening. I literally can't even bare the thought.
2. If I keep getting raped and end up pregnant.
I'm non binary but afab. I hate pretty much every part of my body but there is one person in particular that is obsessed with me. This person happens to be a family member that I hate with a firey passion. He rapes me practically every day and if I get infected with his demon spawn, I have already decided I will either kill myself on the spot or starve myself or something. I refuse to continue his bloodline that has done more harm to my family than anything else. I can't really leave because the physical abuse I get here is slightly more bearable than the abuse I get from my parents.
I actually don't like my family because of their religious and political stances. Of course everyone in my family is an uber christian conservative asshole. Which I guess would make point number 1 ridiculous, but I still can't bare to lose what little I have left. Maybe if I ever create the family I've always wanted, I could let my blood relatives go.
