A
anyoneshorizon
Member
- Jun 8, 2022
- 96
I've been thinking of suicide every day for almost 10 months. I've never really attempted apart from planning and sometimes going to the train tracks near my house or the top of buildings. The closest thing to attempt I've had was Filling a bag of nitrogen and then pulling it over my head I took it off in a few seconds. I am now trying again with SN I have painkillers, antiemetic, and the SN that is coming very soon. I wasn't feeling this before but now I'm getting nervous and scared. I'm thinking about the possibility of an afterlife and religion and it's stressing me a little bit. I'm thinking about my mother and family friends. I wonder what people will think maybe they won't be surprised, maybe they won't care. Part of me thinks maybe I will get better and have a good future, the part is telling me it hasn't and isn't gonna change no matter what, and doing this is mercy. I am thankful that I don't have to kill myself immediately and I'll always have that option. So when I decide to go it'll be peaceful.