Leavesfromthevine

Leavesfromthevine

Untreated Trauma
Nov 23, 2023
339
I hate feeling a moral obligation to take care of my mom. It's so infuriating because the blame is always deflected onto someone else. I can never be happy if she's not.

She refuses to take care of herself. For example, she hurt her foot a few months ago and refuses to go to doctor even though she has insurance. Won't cook or clean anything, I'm constantly having to pick up everything.

Now the most recent thing is she won't even call for taxes because she needs a document. It's literally all I'm missing to file them and get some more money to survive. It's crucial to file not only for legal reasons but for money until I have another job.

Work is another thing. I've recently been trying to find a job again in case I fail ctb. It feels like a super slow process but realistically it's been average. But she refuses to make more than $10 hourly for some damn reason. If I don't get another job within a month I'll lose everything.

This stress with my personal issues just make the desire to ctb unbelievable. I can't wait for my attempt which will hopefully be within a week.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: reclaimedbynature, leavingthesoultrap, Return2themoonlight and 3 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,920
That must be tiring and dreadful what you are going through, I understand why you'd just wish to be free from it all but anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ijustwishtodie, Return2themoonlight and Leavesfromthevine
Return2themoonlight

Return2themoonlight

Sele'ne shall guide me to peace and tranquility
Dec 31, 2023
153
I hate feeling a moral obligation to take care of my mom. It's so infuriating because the blame is always deflected onto someone else. I can never be happy if she's not.

She refuses to take care of herself. For example, she hurt her foot a few months ago and refuses to go to doctor even though she has insurance. Won't cook or clean anything, I'm constantly having to pick up everything.

Now the most recent thing is she won't even call for taxes because she needs a document. It's literally all I'm missing to file them and get some more money to survive. It's crucial to file not only for legal reasons but for money until I have another job.

Work is another thing. I've recently been trying to find a job again in case I fail ctb. It feels like a super slow process but realistically it's been average. But she refuses to make more than $10 hourly for some damn reason. If I don't get another job within a month I'll lose everything.

This stress with my personal issues just make the desire to ctb unbelievable. I can't wait for my attempt which will hopefully be within a week.
This the most I'll ever be able to relate to someone on here. Im going through the exact same thing. I take care of my mother and we're getting evicted as well as me getting sued cause of a loan I didn't pay off. The pressure and weight of everything got me spinning out to the point I want to ctb. Nothing has been going well for me this whole year, even tho it just started and everyone is blaming me for the situation we are in. I literally don't know how im going to make it out of this. Im losing my freaking mind.... If I cant find a solution, than im going to FIND my solution....

I wanna break down so bad....😩😓😓😢😢😢
 
  • Love
Reactions: Leavesfromthevine

Similar threads

lawlietsph
Replies
2
Views
247
Suicide Discussion
lawlietsph
lawlietsph
Comfydant
Replies
14
Views
585
Suicide Discussion
Comfydant
Comfydant
dqngerous
Replies
3
Views
289
Suicide Discussion
dqngerous
dqngerous
S
Replies
9
Views
701
Suicide Discussion
alltoomuch2
alltoomuch2