The risk that we all take when attempting to CTB

[Lifeless mindset]

Aside from SI, the biggest risk we all take when attempting to CTB is risking failure. Failure is my biggest fear and learning to accept failure is my biggest challenge, not only with CTB but with anything in life. The sad part about my life is the fact that I know I could stay here longer if I wanted to. Fail until I succeed and if I fail to succeed then at least I would get some sort of satisfaction out of the fact that I put up one hell of a fight. As of right now all I ever think about is money and how im gonna obtain as much of it as possible. I strive to obtain the freedom that comes with having money, and maybe then I could finally focus on working on myself. For now I'm stuck between two walls waiting for something to happen which that in itself is my biggest issue. I'm always waiting. In order for some change to happen I need to not wait but force myself up and do something about it. Feeling sorry for myself never brought any happiness in my life, it only brought comfort in this dark, lonely, cold abyss we call depression. I'm lazy and would rather kill myself than continue putting effort into my life. Then again, I'm maybe I'm just tired of trying or maybe I'm scared to try again as anyone would expect the same outcome when one has failed so much in life.

 

[Jrmull1993]

Failure is my biggest fear as well. I dont anticipate SI being an issue (I say that now, hopefully I'll be right).

I'd rather die in excruciating pain over a day or two than fail painlessly. (Knocking on wood ️)

 

[takemenowpls]

I feel you both. I've fails many times using pills. Impulsiveness never helps. Lucky I didn't end up with health problems after. But now I'm stuck here too scared to try again. Spent the day thinking of ways to end it but always come back to the one thing that stops me. Fear of failure and how that could make things worse

 

[Idontmatter]

Failure is my biggest fear as well. I'm done disappointing people though and disappointing myself. I'm ready to die so I am determined to make it work.

 

[lionetta12]

My biggest fear is failing and ending up with permanent organ and brain damages and in more pain than I already face on a daily basis.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Is it laziness or depression? I feel as though you cannot claim both as they contradict. One blames an unchosen brain condition for your circumstances (depression), while the other blames some kind of "sin" freely committed by you (laziness).

 

[Lifeless mindset]

Is it laziness or depression? I feel as though you cannot claim both as they contradict. One blames an unchosen brain condition for your circumstances (depression), while the other blames some kind of "sin" freely committed by you (laziness).

It's being comfortable in my depression and not having the motivation to pick myself up and do something.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I agree. Fear of failure (not ctb failure) is crippling to anything in life. From my own experience, I agree that it can be due to a lack of motivation to try- a certain laziness- it takes so much resilience to keep bouncing back after multiple failures. Still, I think as a society, we don't have a particularly healthy view of failure. Rather than something that we use to instruct ourselves with, we use it to demean ourselves. A colleague once said- 'Failure isn't when you fall- because everybody falls- it's when you don't get back up again.' Really good advice but hard to follow.

I don't think you should beat yourself up about trying to get money either. It's a horrible fact but none of us can get by without it. Do you do nice things with the money? Travel, hobbies etc? Some people I've known who seem relatively happy only work in order to save enough to fund what they love.

Ctb failure is terrifying though. I expect it's the major factor putting most people off. It must be even worse with previous failed attempts too. I guess I just hope if I ever summon the courage to go ahead with it that I'll do all the planning and preparation necessary to give myself the best chance. I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

If someone is suicidal because he had no success during his entire life he will probably not succeed in ending his life. It´s a vicious circle.

 

[FuneralCry]

The fear of failure is the main thing that holds me back from ctb as well as limited access to methods in general. It sounds so terrifying ending up in a worse condition. The thought of being dead is extremely comforting and to be gone from this world is all that I want, only dying is just so difficult.

We all deserve the option of a guaranteed and peaceful exit, there really should be no risks when we are attempting ctb, we have all already suffered enough in life without having to worry about the chance of the method failing.