The Right To Die with Support and without Shame

[CannotAnymore]

It's so unfair that in order to do this I have to be alone and it has to be potentially painful or traumatic. My life has sucked, I am 38 years old and I've tried and I've had good days but now I'm just tired, I just don't want to try anymore. I am so sick of people saying 'oh you are strong' 'oh you will get through this' 'oh you are loved' and then you have to basically open up your trauma bag for them to go 'oh man that sucks' or 'you should get help'.

I am not sick, I don't need therapy or meds. I just don't want to anymore, wave the white flag I'm done. Why can't I go to a facility, sign whatever documents I need to sign, record a video saying I am rational and then just have them put me to sleep... then I can donate my organs to people who actually want to live, do whatever research you want on the corpse and then dispose of the body however you want. I can go with the love of my life and last person I have holding my hands and rubbing my forehead and telling me it's ok I can rest now.

I am exhausted but rational, I have suffered enough, it shouldn't have to be violent or traumatic. My final act should ruin the man I love so much, I don't want to traumatize some poor housekeeper or some family hiking in the woods, I don't want to ruin my car so it can't be sold. If my partner helps me do this, he risks going to jail and he risks being blamed.

I am so tired. I am so ready.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I am not sick, I don't need therapy or meds.

I think the DSM would say different for any of us who wants to ctb. We're not exactly the "normies".

Why can't I go to a facility, sign whatever documents I need to sign, record a video saying I am rational and then just have them put me to sleep

Unless you have a terminal illness, this doesn't exist anywhere in the world. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting on it to happen, either.

then I can donate my organs to people who actually want to live, do whatever research you want on the corpse and then dispose of the body however you want.

You can do this, but not under your "rules". If you get in a car wreck and perish, your organs can be used to help others. You can, also, donate your body to science, like at a teaching hospital, to help new doctors learn. After they're "done with you" ( that sounds so callous ), they take care of your cremation.

So, evidently, you're just "tired"? Just because you haven't been diagnosed with a mental illness, doesn't mean you don't have one. And you never really said in your post why you want to go. What has made you tired? What is your suffering caused by? You say you don't have an illness. A little more info might help if you're up to it.

 

[CannotAnymore]

Unless you have a terminal illness, this doesn't exist anywhere in the world. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting on it to happen, either.

In Belgium you can be approved for chronic depression. It's legal there. I am actually looking into that too.

You can do this, but not under your "rules". If you get in a car wreck and perish, your organs can be used to help others. You can, also, donate your body to science, like at a teaching hospital, to help new doctors learn. After they're "done with you" ( that sounds so callous ), they take care of your cremation.

Method has a lot to do with it. I know that (don't know the acronyms yet) but anything extremely graphic just won't work for me, I just can't actually do it, I rationalize my way out of it. The main reason right now is traumatizing other people but I know that certain organs are only viable for so long and if I use certain methods then that won't be a possibility.

So, evidently, you're just "tired"? Just because you haven't been diagnosed with a mental illness, doesn't mean you don't have one. And you never really said in your post why you want to go. What has made you tired? What is your suffering caused by? You say you don't have an illness. A little more info might help if you're up to it.

It's a long story but the TDLR is a lifetime of just just bad shit happening. I had some great years and then the last 3 were really hard, I pulled my way out of that and thought I was going to make it out but life went to shit again. It was just hit after, hit after hit and then something happened that was just the final straw and now I don't want to anymore.... Society sucks, people suck, I don't have anything left. I've reached out for help and the truth is no one cares and no one is going to help. I tried starting over, I took one last attempt at trying to be happy and it didn't work. I can't fake it anymore. I don't know how to explain it other than I just don't want to anymore. It's not that I can't, it's that I'm tired.

There is more detail but the more I write about it the more upset I get and I am trying to just not go down that rabbit hole.

I really did try, I almost had it..... I was soooo freaking happy.... I had like a year where the future looked soooooo bright...... I thought ok, I can do this and then life said... SIKE!

 

[waitingforrest]

I really hate how society treats people with suicidal tendencies. They want us to reach out for help, but then force us into their treatments that constantly prove to not be very effective.

If only I was not treated as insane everytime I talk about how I really want to ctb. Or have to justify how my conditions could not improve no matter how much I try because some things are permanent.

But it's not like that in reality. All of the time for me, just talking to people about ctb freaks them out and destroys relationships. It really is lonely.

 

[ornitier199]

"Treatment" and Meds" did not add the necessary money to my pocket, instead it took it out.
It is permanently ineffective at solving the root cause, because it cannot.
Pseudo is a term for it, as to "believe" like it is, when reality becomes repressed into dreams. The dream of this and that.

But it's good it takes money out of my pockets to put into theirs, to get hooked and depended on such a thing; and milked dry. until you've nothing left but an empty shell.
Now I've gone cryptic.
Here's it more legible.
"Happiness" is subjective, to me; enjoyment is dissimilar, for me. Happiness is considered, to not be obtainable without currency. And instead of being what is perceived as grumpy (Lulu) or miserable, I can ctb.

 

[Wizard999666]

Now that I'm about to do it, I view people as insane and crazy, not to be trusted. My parents would rather lock me up in a ward and see me reduced to 0,1% of my previous self and visit me once a month, than dealing with the grief of me dying. People are unsympathetic and shallow, and the current system is causing enormous suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

We all deserve the option of euthanasia, none of us asked to exist in the first place and we should all be able to exit peacefully when the time is right for us. It is cruel to expect people to suffer for decades against their wishes, no one should have to resort to a painful or a risky method. Life is completely meaningless and we will all die eventually so why try to force people to live if they do not want to. I am also tired and I just want to be gone. I wish that we lived in a world where our right to die is respected. I hope you find relief from your suffering.

 

[wljourney]

Most countries that accept mental illness as only reason for medical assistance in dying (MAID) have a number of requirements and restrictions in place to prevent "suicide tourism". Belgium afaik requires you to be a resident. They also need you to have a long established relationship with your treating physician and most (nearly 90%) of all applications are denied.

There are options like Pegasus, but they are very costly and still will only approve certain cases.

Canada is about to legislate MAID for people with mental health illness but they too require you to be a resident and eligible for provincial healthcare.

It won't be easy to qualify and will require a great number of hoops to jump through, paperwork, supporting letters etc etc.

I am having this conversation right now with my doctors and it all seems like DIY is still my best option.

Though it will be sad and lonely and traumatizing for those who find me.

Sad.

 

[BellaB]

I just wanted to say that I'm grateful other people actually think the way I do about suicide.
Simply matter of factly.
I just don't want to be here I'm tired of living. Yes thats making me depressed. But I'm not insane. No one is available to talk to in person where I am without just assuming I'm a lunatic. It's an informed choice. One day people will be able to decide if they wish to live or die peacefully. Its a human right to choose what happens to your body.
One day it'll be an accepted form of death.
Just not this day.

Using barbaric methods is heartbreaking for everyone.

 

[CannotAnymore]

I just wanted to say that I'm grateful other people actually think the way I do about suicide.
Simply matter of factly.
I just don't want to be here I'm tired of living. Yes thats making me depressed. But I'm not insane. No one is available to talk to in person where I am without just assuming I'm a lunatic. It's an informed choice. One day people will be able to decide if they wish to live or die peacefully. Its a human right to choose what happens to your body.
One day it'll be an accepted form of death.
Just not this day.

Using barbaric methods is heartbreaking for everyone.

THIS! I am not irrational or emotional. I don't need medication or treatment. I just don't want to anymore. I can't. I am about to run out of money and then I'll get evicted and once you slip it's harder to get back up.

I TRIED, I really did but unfortunately society doesn't operate in a way that works for me. I am kind and honest and I have integrity but that has made the people closest to me hurt me in a way that I cannot recover from. I don't want to keep going, I don't want to try.

But I also don't want to die alone and in pain or worse 'almost' make it and then end up in a worse place alive than now.... I just want to die, that damn survival instinct, that glimmer of hope that just maybe it will just be ok. It's exhausting, it's exhausting to pretend that I"m ok and happy and I can't

I'm so tired