The people you leave behind are effected/affected?

[GarageKarate07]

I called out to a friend because I'm having a hard time on too many levels at once. I have 4 methods right next to me that I have had for months. My friend said that CTB is the end of suffering for the deceased but the ones left behind are who is effected/affected.

Which word is it? I googled it and still couldn't figure it out.

So, the question arises again.
Why should we care about the ones we leave behind?
Why should we stay and suffer just for them?
Is this a form of selfishness?
Who is more selfish in this scenario?
Also there's no real help (state and government mental healthcare) so what choices do we have?

I'm at the end of my rope as many many are. I'm shaking and crying and all of the thoughts I have are simply not good. I am catatonic with fear. My anxiety has been killing me for years and I've been alone for months without family or friends trying to decide if I should die. I should be finding reasons to live but instead I'm listing all the reasons to just call it quits and die. I know I'm not alone. Maybe individual circumstances but I'm not the only one.

 

[ClownMe]

The only thing im currently living for is my dog, but i know if it was a human(s) i was living for then i would ctb when i pleased, if i want to live for a human(s) then i have to live in misery for the rest of my days but with my dog i only have to suffer for a certain amount of time and im willing to make that sacrifice because he is the only one that has made my life even remotely enjoyable.

Dont let people guilt you into living for them though, its your choice, they dont know the pain youre going through because they arent you. it may seem selfish but the reality is that you wont be there once you ctb to see how they react, mourn or suffer from your death, you will be free.

Hopefully things turn around for you (if that's what you want), if not, then feel free to ctb and be free.

Remember, everything is YOUR CHOICE.

 

[mini_weeny]

I think the answer to the question is how much do these ppl care about you??
If they don't care about you as they should then you shouldn't care about them.
I also have no family or friends one or two ppl care about me but that's not enough to stick around for me, only my cats are stopping me because I know since no one cares about me no one will take care of them and that breaks my heart. Also only method available is rope.
I know that paralyzing fear and it's awful I really feel for you. Being alone without a friendly face or helping hand in life is absolutely scary. Life is so scary. People are so selfish, I helped a lot of ppl and none of them helped me when I was in need so fuck them and fuck humanity, we are rotten to the core.

The only thing im currently living for is my dog, but i know if it was a human(s) i was living for then i would ctb when i pleased, if i want to live for a human(s) then i have to live in misery for the rest of my days but with my dog i only have to suffer for a certain amount of time and im willing to make that sacrifice because he is the only one that has made my life even remotely enjoyable.

Dont let people guilt you into living for them though, its your choice, they dont know the pain youre going through because they arent you. it may seem selfish but the reality is that you wont be there once you ctb to see how they react, mourn or suffer from your death, you will be free.

Hopefully things turn around for you (if that's what you want), if not, then feel free to ctb and be free.

Remember, everything is YOUR CHOICE.

From what I have seen only a handful of ppl really miss you and are affected, the rest are shocked for a day or two then continue living without giving a fuck about you. Seen it so many times, life goes on and everybody goes on without us when we leave. Only those that are super close and that really love you suffer , the rest I.e "friends" don't give a shit after a week.
A friend of mine committed suicide and my other friend was like oh how sad but I hope he is in a better place and she moved on ...and I was like traumatized for many months, thinking of him being cold there six feet under, rotting, still traumatized, and I remember him on a regular basis. It's shocking how people forget so easily, we are nothing.

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

If they really cared about us, they would let us end our suffering.

 

[mini_weeny]

If they really cared about us, they would let us end our suffering.

They would actually actively help us get the necessary means to die.

 

[GarageKarate07]

The only thing im currently living for is my dog, but i know if it was a human(s) i was living for then i would ctb when i pleased, if i want to live for a human(s) then i have to live in misery for the rest of my days but with my dog i only have to suffer for a certain amount of time and im willing to make that sacrifice because he is the only one that has made my life even remotely enjoyable.

Dont let people guilt you into living for them though, its your choice, they dont know the pain youre going through because they arent you. it may seem selfish but the reality is that you wont be there once you ctb to see how they react, mourn or suffer from your death, you will be free.

Hopefully things turn around for you (if that's what you want), if not, then feel free to ctb and be free.

Remember, everything is YOUR CHOICE.

That's about exactly what I think in this situation. Not just for me but anyone who is having a hard time. Also my dog is already on the other side so more reason to go. It just made me kind of mad and it did sound selfish of my friend. I dont think they meant this on purpose but like what the hell? Someone is having a hard enough time to possibly want to die and they should stay because their loves ones might be hurt if they go? Anyway, can't say I didnt "try" and get some help. I also tried to get a counselor but I didn't tell them anything about CTB. I kept that to myself. It sux.

 

[arachni]

Who is more selfish in this scenario?

Nobody on either side would be.
The idea of only living because someone else wants you to is absurd, yet it's painful to hurt or cause emotional pain to others. Unless you have some moral responsibility to them (like if you have a child), I can't think of a reason for it to be considered selfish.
I don't think that anyone will fall into severe depression when I die. They'll be sad for a few months before it turns into an afterthought.

 

[GarageKarate07]

I think the answer to the question is how much do these ppl care about you??
If they don't care about you as they should then you shouldn't care about them.
I also have no family or friends one or two ppl care about me but that's not enough to stick around for me, only my cats are stopping me because I know since no one cares about me no one will take care of them and that breaks my heart. Also only method available is rope.
I know that paralyzing fear and it's awful I really feel for you. Being alone without a friendly face or helping hand in life is absolutely scary. Life is so scary. People are so selfish, I helped a lot of ppl and none of them helped me when I was in need so fuck them and fuck humanity, we are rotten to the core.

From what I have seen only a handful of ppl really miss you and are affected, the rest are shocked for a day or two then continue living without giving a fuck about you. Seen it so many times, life goes on and everybody goes on without us when we leave. Only those that are super close and that really love you suffer , the rest I.e "friends" don't give a shit after a week.
A friend of mine committed suicide and my other friend was like oh how sad but I hope he is in a better place and she moved on ...and I was like traumatized for many months, thinking of him being cold there six feet under, rotting, still traumatized, and I remember him on a regular basis. It's shocking how people forget so easily, we are nothing.

My problems are stacked up pretty high just like many people. The stress is destoying me and has been for years. Nobody can understand that it seems except other stressed people. Life is just cruel. Its not even just my own problems that make me want to go but just the suffering of so many people here in this world. It's pointless!

Nobody on either side would be.
The idea of only living because someone else wants you to is absurd, yet it's painful to hurt or cause emotional pain to others. Unless you have some moral responsibility to them (like if you have a child), I can't think of a reason for it to be considered selfish.
I don't think that anyone will fall into severe depression when I die. They'll be sad for a few months before it turns into an afterthought.

I guess you can always look at both sides. Im not saying they are wrong. Sometimes our friends and loved ones are only trying to help the best way they know how. Not everyone is used to the situation of someone wanting to die. Death hurts us all and even suffering through a hard time makes others sad.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

But are they really affected? And if so: is it correct to put the blame on the suicidal individual?

If a friend cuts you off, or a boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you do we blame them for any pain - do we hold them responsible for "causing" grief to you? In most instances: no. In fact we are told the opposite: that we cannot force somebody else to be with us, and if someone does decide to exclude us from their life then they are not selfish at all, because they have the freedom and the right to do that.

It comes down to the concept of rejection; just because you have feelings for someone, or care for them, that does not mean they are obligated to reciprocate - or so we are told. Surely we should apply this logic to suicide as well? Should we not be allowed to reject those who supposedly will be "hurt" - just as in the same way they can potentially reject and abandon us for being suicidal?

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Affected.

CTB is not selfish - its just that normies don't get it.

 

[FuneralCry]

People will be sad, that is inevitable. It is unfair for people to be forced to stay alive just for other people when they are suffering extremely. That is why I like the idea of suicide notes as that can give closure to other people and they might feel better knowing the person is at peace. If someones life is just pain and suffering suicide should be accepted as an rational alternative as all life is pointless in the end.

 

[BandAddict]

To answer your first question, it would be "affected". I remember it as "affect" = verb, "effect" = noun or something.

And I don't know how to go about this topic, really. It's incredibly difficult when you know people that love you. I know I'd really hurt my mom and sibling, it would really rock their world, I think. I even asked my mom once if they'd be okay and she said no, and something like "that shit fucks families up, of course not." I don't know how to disregard that, but I'll have to very soon in order to go.

I don't know who's more selfish. I feel like I'm extremely selfish, but that's always what I've been told, so it must be true? Outside of that, I think that the people asking you to live can be selfish as well. It's like your standing in a fire and they're saying "Keep burning! It might go out soon! Please, keep burning for us!" At this point it feels like faith to believe things could turn around and the fire will fizzle out. And I wonder too, what options are left when you find that there's been nothing that's worked, and you ultimately give up on looking.

The mental health care system is full of people who don't know how to approach a variety of individuals and revise their methods. It's not as simple as treating us like the textbook definition of our disorders or whatnot. And I'd argue that the mental health care system here in the US is classist in that you'll have a fucking hell of a time getting quality or long-term help if you don't have the money for it. At least I can say I've tried really hard with the resources I have, and found quite a bit of help, but I'm still compelled to CTB. So when are we allowed to draw the line here?

Anyway, that was a rant, my apologies. I don't know if trying everything would be enough to satisfy some people, and they'd still probably think you selfish or want you to keep trying anyway.

 

[Jemo_]

I called out to a friend because I'm having a hard time on too many levels at once. I have 4 methods right next to me that I have had for months. My friend said that CTB is the end of suffering for the deceased but the ones left behind are who is effected/affected.

Which word is it? I googled it and still couldn't figure it out.

So, the question arises again.
Why should we care about the ones we leave behind?
Why should we stay and suffer just for them?
Is this a form of selfishness?
Who is more selfish in this scenario?
Also there's no real help (state and government mental healthcare) so what choices do we have?

I'm at the end of my rope as many many are. I'm shaking and crying and all of the thoughts I have are simply not good. I am catatonic with fear. My anxiety has been killing me for years and I've been alone for months without family or friends trying to decide if I should die. I should be finding reasons to live but instead I'm listing all the reasons to just call it quits and die. I know I'm not alone. Maybe individual circumstances but I'm not the only o

It depends ...if you staying behind will cause you as much pain or even greater than the pain it would cause on those you're leaving behind when you ctb, then I think I'd rather go anyway.
I don't see the point of inflicting pain on others while you're here as a burden, a waste or a disgrace...infact to me it's double pain ( on yourself and your loved ones as well)

 

[Anonymous_A]

We all die, we all mourn.

Think of it this way..I'll either mourn for my dad, or he'll mourn for me.

The only thing I can do is, not doing something silly (silly being subjective) like letting my dad find me somehow hung, hanging by my spinal cord, from a failed shotgun attempt to my face, while hanging.

(better terms, I'd keep everything as peaceful as possible, which I've selected, so it won't add to the trauma)

 

[Desi]

Definitely the thing that prevents me from.
my sister is strong, she would get over it. But i'm worried about my nephews, although they are quite big, now but still children. my parents, it's complicated.
god i feel so awful today.

 

[Fera18]

Yo creo que se pondrían tristez un tiempo, quizá se sientan un poco culpables, en típico "si hubiera hecho, si hubiera dicho, si no hubiera hecho ...." Y así sigue la lista, pero lo que no entienden es que es una elección personal, ellos deben aceptarla y respetarla, no juzgarnos.
muchos creen que estar vivos es vivir, pero creo que no todos se dan cuenta de que estar vivos no significa vivir. Antes me preocupaba por mi perrito, pero sé que mi hermana lo cuidará bien. A veces creo que eso es lo único que me detiene.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Man, I wish your friend had simply given you some comfort, understanding, and support instead of a guilt trip. Don't they comprehend that line of thinking everything worse a suicidal person because we start blaming ourselves once we get pladtered with the misnomer of selfishness?

When you are alone, it truly does feel like empty words to be told that people care and your passing would affect them- when there is no evidence to validate this claim. I wish that you had some loving people in your life, because you deserve it. Although my father died when I was young and I don't remember very well how it feels to have a dad, the vibe you give off in your posts here is like what I imagine a supportive father figure would be like.

As for the questions you pose, I would say it depends on the individual and their circumstances. In a way, suicide is selfish, in the sense that a person does it to end their own personal suffering, independent of the wants of others. A person chooses to die of their own will, regardless of how other people will view the decision. Typically, in 99.9% of cases involving ctb urges, the majority will not give even an inkling of consideration for what you want, even if you have a horrible quality of life due to illness and disease.

In my case, I think that my dying would actually be beneficial for others, even if they reject my point of view. Due to my disabilities, I am objectively a burden. My partner has admitted that he wishes I could be like I used to, when I tried to force myself into work and "cared so much about my internship and my education". When I was some cute cosplay girl online who provided enticement and pleasure rather than real world problems.

The prospect of losing support and becoming homeless wobbles over my head at any given moment. The disabled and the sick are treated like pests by society, and while we are alive, they torment us constantly about being unproductive and worthless. So I think I would be doing the collective a favor by offing myself.

I stay alive for other people, but they care little about me except when it's to guilt trip about how I'm not appreciative enough to have food and shelter, or how I am not in love with the miracle of life, when sooo many people surely have it worse than me. At least I'm not a starving African orphan, right?

Yes, my death will likely hurt several people. Yet, I have no family and no stable means of support. If I physically need other people to help me, that is viewed as entitlement and selfishness. So I don't think anyone could label my suicide as an evil act of egocentric solipsism, rather, it is the necessary conclusion of a life of being told that needing assistance from others is weak.

 

[Zzzzz]

I think it's more selfish to expect someone to live for your sake than it is to Kill yourself to relieve your own suffering. Suicide is not a violation of someone's consent, but forcing someone to live against their will is. Imo the argument falls in favor of the right to die.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, this is my eternal dilemma "to live or not to live..." (because of X person)

In my case, I'm still on this blue rock because I don't want to ruin my dad's life.

If I ctb, he'll probably have a heart-attack or stroke. I'm literaly his EVERYTHING.

Still, unfortunately, I think I'll end up leaving this world if things get harder.

 

[Storm225]

I'm probably one of the rare people that find it selfish but not in the way you think.

I have family, friends, an awesome cat (in profile pic) and my mum in particular would be devastated so i do feel awful and selfish at the idea of SH or CTB.

However I've also been the one that carried everyone and their problems, I have always been the family member or friend that goes that extra mile. I want to be selfish for once in my life. If that makes sense?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't really care about the people I'm leaving behind no matter how much they need me. I suppose that makes me pretty evil which honestly is just another reason I need to die anyway.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Man, I wish your friend had simply given you some comfort, understanding, and support instead of a guilt trip. Don't they comprehend that line of thinking everything worse a suicidal person because we start blaming ourselves once we get pladtered with the misnomer of selfishness?

When you are alone, it truly does feel like empty words to be told that people care and your passing would affect them- when there is no evidence to validate this claim. I wish that you had some loving people in your life, because you deserve it. Although my father died when I was young and I don't remember very well how it feels to have a dad, the vibe you give off in your posts here is like what I imagine a supportive father figure would be like.

As for the questions you pose, I would say it depends on the individual and their circumstances. In a way, suicide is selfish, in the sense that a person does it to end their own personal suffering, independent of the wants of others. A person chooses to die of their own will, regardless of how other people will view the decision. Typically, in 99.9% of cases involving ctb urges, the majority will not give even an inkling of consideration for what you want, even if you have a horrible quality of life due to illness and disease.

In my case, I think that my dying would actually be beneficial for others, even if they reject my point of view. Due to my disabilities, I am objectively a burden. My partner has admitted that he wishes I could be like I used to, when I tried to force myself into work and "cared so much about my internship and my education". When I was some cute cosplay girl online who provided enticement and pleasure rather than real world problems.

The prospect of losing support and becoming homeless wobbles over my head at any given moment. The disabled and the sick are treated like pests by society, and while we are alive, they torment us constantly about being unproductive and worthless. So I think I would be doing the collective a favor by offing myself.

I stay alive for other people, but they care little about me except when it's to guilt trip about how I'm not appreciative enough to have food and shelter, or how I am not in love with the miracle of life, when sooo many people surely have it worse than me. At least I'm not a starving African orphan, right?

Yes, my death will likely hurt several people. Yet, I have no family and no stable means of support. If I physically need other people to help me, that is viewed as entitlement and selfishness. So I don't think anyone could label my suicide as an evil act of egocentric solipsism, rather, it is the necessary conclusion of a life of being told that needing assistance from others is weak.

See, I feel I am a burden on others for financial and emotional reasons. They have a hard time paying financially for their own lives and I hate feeling like a drain. They also don't deserve to have to deal with my sadness while they are sad for their own reasons already. Money and time from loved ones shouldn't be a problem but it is. This life makes us depend on each other but tells us to ignore each other for our own sake because jobs and time are hard enough to manage. My opinion anyway. I think this system is built to bring everyone down and make us hate each other. Just like how people hate the homeless, mentally ill, and so on.

 

[loopylou]

Think it's phrased

'suicide doesn't end suffering it just passes it on to someone else '

or some shit like that