The paradox of social anxiety

[Greyhawk]

I assume social anxiety is common here. Does anyone else suffer from it to such extent that they really deeply want to form new friendships irl/online but suffer from severe social anxiety which keeps you totally isolated. I have had this for months. I feel so isolated because none of my irl friends know what I'm going through and I would like to meet new people who struggle with the same issues but I just can't.

I remember when I tried to meet new people through video games and people just kept thinking why I'm such a quiet weirdo. I'm even afraid just posting stuff here and thinking whatever I write something it must be so stupid no one gives a fuck or It's cringy. I also hate myself for being such an incompetent whiny asshole. All the while longing for close human connection with someone that understands me :/. I'm also drunk while writing this so this comes from the heart and it might not be the most coherently written post.

 

[deadstillwalking]

Social anxiety ruins my life. I sit in the very front row of my class and my subcounscious mind always thinks everyone is looking at me. It took me a while to figure out why I always come home absolutely drained despite having 7-8h sleep. I always love talking with my friends, but as soon as they introduce me to someone unfamiliar I completely crash. My mind starts overthinking, trying to "choose the right dialogue option" because I know nothing about them. The more outgoing the friend, the greater the variety of personalities and thus the more panicked I am. Everytime I talk it feels like walking on thin ice and the eye contact feels like they are judging my very soul. Even if I feel absolutely confident and don't feel any of the mentioned distress, my brain automatically shuts down, goes blank and refuses to come up with things to talk about when speaking with strangers, as if it was trying to say "I won't engage with someone who could pose a danger to me". Same issue online, even trying to keep a newly started conversation is enough to make me sweat. They respond in seconds while it takes me minutes to make a perfect reply. I've never met anyone irl who has this horrible condition.

 

[Mooncry]

Yeah… I've just accepted it as a way of life. It took me forever to even feel somewhat comfortable interacting on anonymous forums like this one because of my anxiety. But then I started seeing all the weird shit people post here and it made me feel normal and accepted. I know I'll never be fully rid of it until the day I die though.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

I truly believe social anxiety, severe social anxiety, is the worst mental illness one can suffer through and always invariably leads to extreme depression to boot.

I sometimes even feel brave enough to wager it's worse than the worst of plights like poverty, humans evolved living in the wilderness at least but we weren't ever meant to be solitary (as far as I know).

 

[patheticparasite]

I feel so isolated because none of my irl friends know what I'm going through and I would like to meet new people who struggle with the same issues but I just can't.

That's why I recently joined group therapy and a self-help group. Nothing much has come from it yet and it doesn't look like I'm making progress, but I can say at least it's keeping me busy enough to take my mind off ctb.

I remember when I tried to meet new people through video games and people just kept thinking why I'm such a quiet weirdo.

My mic has always been defective. I had to give up that hobby eventually. Too distressing.

I'm even afraid just posting stuff here and thinking whatever I write something it must be so stupid no one gives a fuck or It's cringy.

I'm just waiting for some troll to bully me into tears. My biggest fear actually is that someone who knows me in real life finds my posts here.

I'm also drunk while writing this so this comes from the heart and it might not be the most coherently written post.

More coherent than I could write sober.

They respond in seconds while it takes me minutes to make a perfect reply.

Yep, incredibly intimidating.

 

[alwaysalone]

I assume social anxiety is common here. Does anyone else suffer from it to such extent that they really deeply want to form new friendships irl/online but suffer from severe social anxiety which keeps you totally isolated. I have had this for months. I feel so isolated because none of my irl friends know what I'm going through and I would like to meet new people who struggle with the same issues but I just can't.

I remember when I tried to meet new people through video games and people just kept thinking why I'm such a quiet weirdo. I'm even afraid just posting stuff here and thinking whatever I write something it must be so stupid no one gives a fuck or It's cringy. I also hate myself for being such an incompetent whiny asshole. All the while longing for close human connection with someone that understands me :/. I'm also drunk while writing this so this comes from the heart and it might not be the most coherently written post.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm also sorry you don't see that what you have to say is just as important and interesting as others. I have anxiety but no to that extreme.

 

[deathbydesign]

I have it bad too. I used to be such an extrovert but years of back to back traumas ruined me I guess. I am so envious of people that make great friendships here and seem so outgoing and amazing when I have to talk myself into posting anything let alone making friendships

 

[hereornot]

I only feel safe away from everyone.
I only feel safe away from everyone.

 

[gottacheckout]

In my short time here I've found that it is one of the safest places you will find to open up in. I personally don't judge others because I'm so fucked up myself.

If you find it easier to open up to just one person you can always reach out and start a conversation with me or someone else you feel comfortable with

 

[The Unanswered Q]

Social anxiety makes it completely impossible to function in society, it's the main reason want to die.

 

[AnEpilogue]

Seriously. People don't even understand. 'Why can't you just give them a call?' Because phone calls make me feel like I'm dying. 'Why don't you ever wanna talk about yourself?' Because I don't trust anyone to handle anything about me properly. 'Why is shopping so hard for you?' Because I feel like everyone is staring at me all the time. 'Why can't you even make online friends?' Because communicating with people in any capacity makes my stomach hurt from stress.

Et cetera, et cetera.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It affects me severely in real life and especially work situations. I've become less reliant on friendship as I've grown older because I learnt that you can't really rely on it.

I'm not so bad online. This forum is such a lifeline for some human contact. It's been nice to get to know a handful of members better here through PM's but, it's really the same as real life in that- it hurts if they go. So, I have to remind myself to try not to get attached. I'm actually pretty lucky though, seeing as I don't tend to get lonely (so far.)

My social needs are maybe less than they used to be. I suppose I weaned myself off the need for others when I realised how much it hurt when they let me down. I do agree though. The combination of loneliness and social anxiety is a particularly cruel thing to suffer from. I'm sorry.