Really, fuck this life.
What is it all about?
Why is there so much fucking pain?
The world could be such a beautiful place if only it were. But it's not.
For every reason to be happy and joyful, there is at least one, if not several, reasons to be unhappy and to feel suffering and pain.
The psyche is a mistake of nature.
Once you have seen this world, how can you not start crying and wishing for a way out?
But a way out is not for everyone, because a way out means there was already a way in.
And if this way in is the problem, then even the way out won't change anything.
Only if you never got in and never existed would it be a solution.
Existence is an ugly movie.
Deleting a movie after it has already been shown in theaters may prevent further suffering, but the mere fact that it ever existed and was ever filmed and written is pain enough.
It just hurts so much. This fucking world hurts me so much.
How am I supposed to put up with it? Fucking how?
How weak am I supposed to be? How strong should I be? For how much longer?
If only I were weaker, I could leave this existence.
If only I were stronger, I could leave this existence.
I can't leave this world and it hurts. I want to leave so much.
It hurts so much to exist, to have ever existed, in this cruel and grotesque work of time that has taken up space and calls itself reality.
I not only weep that I feel this way, but I shed tears for the fact that all this is even possible and that so many feel this endless pain.
"Things can change, everything can be good, and you can have beautiful experiences," you say?
Yes, the world could be a beautiful place if only it were. But it's not.
Everything I experience, no matter how emotional it may be, whether beautiful, bad, positive, or negative,doesn't matter because the basic pain of this world,
of this existence, always was, always is, and always will be.
Evolution gives us all random traits and perceptions so that the most adaptable survive.
This randomness also creates complete errors.
It creates an inability to live. And it seems to me that I am one of these incapacities.
I am not made for this world, this existence. I am a mistake of nature.
And yet, as a mistake, I am forced to exist and suffer, like a fish with lungs in the desert.
How much longer can this all go on?
Fuck it, if this is supposed to be existence, then it's simply indescribable.
Even in this existence, there are no words or concepts to express the pain of existence.
It hurts me so much.
It is just pain.
Just pain.
Pain.
What is it all about?
Why is there so much fucking pain?
The world could be such a beautiful place if only it were. But it's not.
For every reason to be happy and joyful, there is at least one, if not several, reasons to be unhappy and to feel suffering and pain.
The psyche is a mistake of nature.
Once you have seen this world, how can you not start crying and wishing for a way out?
But a way out is not for everyone, because a way out means there was already a way in.
And if this way in is the problem, then even the way out won't change anything.
Only if you never got in and never existed would it be a solution.
Existence is an ugly movie.
Deleting a movie after it has already been shown in theaters may prevent further suffering, but the mere fact that it ever existed and was ever filmed and written is pain enough.
It just hurts so much. This fucking world hurts me so much.
How am I supposed to put up with it? Fucking how?
How weak am I supposed to be? How strong should I be? For how much longer?
If only I were weaker, I could leave this existence.
If only I were stronger, I could leave this existence.
I can't leave this world and it hurts. I want to leave so much.
It hurts so much to exist, to have ever existed, in this cruel and grotesque work of time that has taken up space and calls itself reality.
I not only weep that I feel this way, but I shed tears for the fact that all this is even possible and that so many feel this endless pain.
"Things can change, everything can be good, and you can have beautiful experiences," you say?
Yes, the world could be a beautiful place if only it were. But it's not.
Everything I experience, no matter how emotional it may be, whether beautiful, bad, positive, or negative,doesn't matter because the basic pain of this world,
of this existence, always was, always is, and always will be.
Evolution gives us all random traits and perceptions so that the most adaptable survive.
This randomness also creates complete errors.
It creates an inability to live. And it seems to me that I am one of these incapacities.
I am not made for this world, this existence. I am a mistake of nature.
And yet, as a mistake, I am forced to exist and suffer, like a fish with lungs in the desert.
How much longer can this all go on?
Fuck it, if this is supposed to be existence, then it's simply indescribable.
Even in this existence, there are no words or concepts to express the pain of existence.
It hurts me so much.
It is just pain.
Just pain.
Pain.
