The pain is so great that just thinking of death makes me happy

[nunex]

Does anyone else feel like this? I mean, I understand we are all here for diferent reasons, but myself, as a chronically ill person after catching a nasty virus, I feel like its my destiny. I feel like its the solution to my problem. I tried every fucking approach possible, and Death is the only thing that fascinates me.

Anyone else?

 

[sanguineblade]

I am here for health problems as well.
Chronic health issues/disabilities/extreme pain 24/7.
There is no other option...

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Does anyone else feel like this? I mean, I understand we are all here for diferent reasons, but myself, as a chronically ill person after catching a nasty virus, I feel like its my destiny. I feel like its the solution to my problem. I tried every fucking approach possible, and Death is the only thing that fascinates me.

Anyone else?

At least we have the relief of knowing there is a "solution"

 

[nunex]

I am here for health problems as well.
Chronic health issues/disabilities/extreme pain 24/7.
There is no other option...

Being chronically ill fucking sucks man. What is the point in this life, and why us?

I think its God calling us, our time here is done.

 

[Darkover]

yeah we void pain and seek comfort, as most people do. We are literally evolved for this. we avoid relationship break, loss of a loved one, health condition, economic hardship, abuse, bullying, shame, jealousy.

 

[nunex]

yeah we void pain and seek comfort, as most people do. We are literally evolved for this. we avoid relationship break, loss of a loved one, health condition, economic hardship, abuse, bullying, shame, jealousy.

I feel like I am a fucking burden, and I really am. I am sick, just existing, at expense of the people I most like, my family. God, when does my N arrive?

 

[Death is beautiful]

The thought of death certainly pleases me, I imagine non-existence and an absolutely neutral attitude to everything, but when I started preparing my method, it started to scare me a little, it's all fucking SI the closer to CTB the scarier it becomes, I hope I'll have the courage and end it

 

[...]

Does anyone else feel like this? I mean, I understand we are all here for diferent reasons, but myself, as a chronically ill person after catching a nasty virus, I feel like its my destiny. I feel like its the solution to my problem. I tried every fucking approach possible, and Death is the only thing that fascinates me.

Anyone else?

yep it's ironically the only thing that gets me through the day...

 

[sanguineblade]

i only stay because i dont want to hurt friends and family
im living for other people, 4 years now im suffering every second just not to hurt others
but there is a dignity
enough is enough sometimes
and sometimes you gotta care for yourself, gotta care for you not to suffer anymore, cause no one else cares for that
i wish euthanasia was available so the process would be much easier for everyone

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

As I've readed somewhere in here, we are forced into existance, it's not really up to us. Once we are living, we are forced to continue to live, because CTB is one of the hardest things one person can contemplate. But not just that, with our body comes all sorts of desires and needs that we must attend to, and if we don't, we get extremaly unhappy. Furthermore, we are extremaly fragile in childhood and what other people do impact us for the rest our lives. If you come to think about it, life is a desgrace, is much much better not to have existed at all.

 

[nunex]

As I've readed somewhere in here, we are forced into existance, it's not really up to us. Once we are living, we are forced to continue to live, because CTB is one of the hardest things one person can contemplate. But not just that, with our body comes all sorts of desires and needs that we must attend to, and if we don't, we get extremaly unhappy. Furthermore, we are extremaly fragile in childhood and what other people do impact us for the rest our lives. If you come to think about it, life is a desgrace, is much much better not to have existed at all.

Absolutely, it is shame how we have to pay for what our recent ancestors have done to the planet. I have no doubt many mental illnesses are caused by chemical problems, pesticides, trash ass diet, society, and so on.

My last feeling will not be fear, but rather happiness, for the best of the memories I had when I was healthy

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I find it comforting to think about death. Death is the end to all suffering. When I die this life will go away and I will never experience anything again. I see consciousness as being torture. It is very painful being alive, in a way I have already died but I am still breathing. I am not meant for this world, I belong in the nothingness.

 

[nunex]

Yes, I find it comforting to think about death. Death is the end to all suffering. When I die this life will go away and I will never experience anything again. I see consciousness as being torture. It is very painful being alive, in a way I have already died but I am still breathing. I am not meant for this world, I belong in the nothingness.

Forgive me for asking buddy, but I enjoy a lot your statements. I also find comfort in death.
Are you looking forward to CBT also?

 

[Callie Arcale]

Yes, every day. Thinking that life will end one day is my safe place.

 

[milly]

As I've readed somewhere in here, we are forced into existance, it's not really up to us. Once we are living, we are forced to continue to live, because CTB is one of the hardest things one person can contemplate. But not just that, with our body comes all sorts of desires and needs that we must attend to, and if we don't, we get extremaly unhappy. Furthermore, we are extremaly fragile in childhood and what other people do impact us for the rest our lives. If you come to think about it, life is a desgrace, is much much better not to have existed at all.

Life is a bitch

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

All the time! I don't even remember a single day in past 3 months where I haven't consciously thought of my end. And most of those times I felt immense relief, satisfaction and even pleasant feelings. I also suffer from chronic illness along with a plethora of other serious issues. The pain is so severe that coming to this forum is my only sense if safety in this world. When I reflect on how my life went since the very beginning even before I was born, suicide seems the most logical option and infact my absolute destiny. But also the fear of it being a failure fills me up with extreme dread and anxiety.

 

[nunex]

All the time! I don't even remember a single day in past 3 months where I haven't consciously thought of my end. And most of those times I felt immense relief, satisfaction and even pleasant feelings. I also suffer from chronic illness along with a plethora of other serious issues. The pain is so severe that coming to this forum is my only sense if safety in this world. When I reflect on how my life went since the very beginning even before I was born, suicide seems the most logical option and infact my absolute destiny. But also the fear of it being a failure fills me up with extreme dread and anxiety.

You're not alone brother, that is why I think N is the best. My plan is to go on the car, put some chill music, like from Interstellar Movie, and begone. Forever in the universe!

Pain free

 

[noname223]

During my first severe depression. I bought a tent and always lay down in it and imagine to use the CO method. Moreover often bought grills which we used to make food. We always grilled with my family. My mom knew I was instead always suicidal and wanted to use it. But I think it was quite sure I would not do it. I barely had information to that time, I was young and desperate. This method is too unreliable I concluded.

 

[FuneralCry]

Forgive me for asking buddy, but I enjoy a lot your statements. I also find comfort in death.
Are you looking forward to CBT also?

I am looking forward to being dead, but not exactly going through the process of ctb. Ctb is very difficult, I wish I could just disappear.

 

[meetapple]

My pain is awful but I find death to be terrible as well. Maybe this is because my pain is not physical.

 

[Stuckaf2]

I feel like I am a fucking burden, and I really am. I am sick, just existing, at expense of the people I most like, my family. God, when does my N arrive?

What type of virus?

 

[nunex]

What type of virus?

Doctors do not know, but it was on a trip from Vietnam. Some nasty stuff, they suspected Enterovirus71 or Japanese Encephalitis Virus, but you dont wanna dig into that rabbit hole...

I've been researching on my disease for too long, and the more I try to know, the less I actually do seem to know, and the more complex this shit seems.

Its best for me to just hand my body over, and put an end