Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I'm.... originally I had a ctb date that was... 2 hours 45 minutes from now. But I stopped that for other things.
I thought the countdown was stopped as I didn't have a non-stop awareness of time from existing time to that time. But still... first time of planning, and postponing.

Plus I know that since I don't have set date, it's almost worse, as it means I could make a snap decision within like 24 hours..

But for now, I'm just drinking, and distracting myself. and hoping that once midnight + some time hits i'll just sleep (in the normal way). wake up tomorrow, and hopefully be fine.

It's just weird to be 'fine' but uneasy.
I am in the same boat.

I am going to say the same thing he told me. Stop that clock in your head. It is not your time yet.

You will not to anything impulsive (I am not one to talk lol). You will PM me, or get a hold of someone (Hence the Kitchen Sink thread I am starting tomorrow.)

We will get you through it. Remember. I understand, and if I am still here, you have no choice. :blarg:
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
I am in the same boat.

I am going to say the same thing he told me. Stop that clock in your head. It is not your time yet.

You will not to anything impulsive (I am not one to talk lol). You will PM me, or get a hold of someone (Hence the Kitchen Sink thread I am starting tomorrow.)

We will get you through it. Remember. I understand, and if I am still here, you have no choice. :blarg:

Yeah.

So many things, so many.

And get through it.... yeah for a while at least. No matter what, don't want to make a completely 24 hour decision, not that I'd regret it, but, that's how you make mistakes.

But yeah, Still here for now lol
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Yeah.

So many things, so many.

And get through it.... yeah for a while at least. No matter what, don't want to make a completely 24 hour decision, not that I'd regret it, but, that's how you make mistakes.

But yeah, Still here for now lol
You are making no decisions. You are going to hang with us until we are past the time.
 
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
You are making no decisions. You are going to hang with us until we are past the time.
Yep, tonight, I will make it past that time no matter what... I'm also out of wine... which honestly is probably good since I shouldn't really drink with my meds, and I've had 3/4 of a bottle in like 8 hours.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Yep, tonight, I will make it past that time no matter what... I'm also out of wine... which honestly is probably good since I shouldn't really drink with my meds, and I've had 3/4 of a bottle in like 8 hours.
Hit the coffee!
 
M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Ooo coffee sounds yummy
 
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Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
Some dear persons in my life have been sending me "Happy New Years" messages and well wishes for the upcoming decade. I am really struggling to reply to them because I feel so guilty. I have never liked the closing of the year because when I reflect I tend to pull up a lot of regrets. This year has been especially difficult to let go of and part of it has to do with my time on this forum. I did not mean to get attached but I knew coming in that I probably would and I was right. There have been a few that I have spoken to that have since boarded their bus and I can only wish them - and the loved ones who cherished them - all the best.

I have managed to associate the end of 2019 with leaving those members behind an impenetrable wall that forever separates the "before" and the "after", and I don't like it at all. I am a hypocrite and I don't want the year to end because I hate the idea of leaving people behind. It is silly because I never got to know anyone intimately and I will be the first to acknowledge that all of the voices that play in my mind whenever I read member's posts and messages are merely a product of my imagination...and yet, it still hurts to let go.

I am extremely shy and quick to hide when approached one on one but I do think of you guys quite regularly. No matter what you decide in the end, I really hope that in 2020 you will all do what is good and right for you because you are all worthy of being treated with compassion
.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Have an instant coffee mix t hing that my mom made.... one of the ingredients seriously needed left out, but it's coffee, so I"ll suffer.
What is the Ingredient?
 
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
What is the Ingredient?
pudding.... pudding! like wtf?

instant coffee, creamer, something else like those two--normal.... then PUDDING!

have I mentioned pudding? because it's weird to be in it.
 
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Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
Have an instant coffee mix t hing that my mom made.... one of the ingredients seriously needed left out, but it's coffee, so I"ll suffer.

Coffee contains caffeine, which is commonly referred to in most academic circles as "vital life essences". Knock that coffee back and keep that pesky adenosine at bay.
 
M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Pudding is strange. I added Baileys.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
pudding.... pudding! like wtf?

instant coffee, creamer, something else like those two--normal.... then PUDDING!

have I mentioned pudding? because it's weird to be in it.
Maybe they were trying to make chocolate flavored coffee.
 
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Maybe they were trying to make chocolate flavored coffee.
I honestly don't know.... even she was like it needed left out. She made so much of it though, I hated to waste it. And well, not being too picky at the moment.
Under an hour for east coast now!
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Well it looks like I might actually have to stick around in 2020 longer than I thought I found out recently my dog needs an expensive surgery and I'm going to try and get a job again to pay for it.
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Well it looks like I might actually have to stick around in 2020 longer than I thought I found out recently my dog needs an expensive surgery and I'm going to try and get a job again to pay for it.
I'm sorry about the dog needing surgery and everything.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Well it looks like I might actually have to stick around in 2020 longer than I thought I found out recently my dog needs an expensive surgery and I'm going to try and get a job again to pay for it.
Now this is tough. I am really sad about your dog and want to hear about what is happening...but Yaayyyyy! You are staying!
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I'm sorry about the dog needing surgery and everything.
Thanks. He is ok. It's not life threatening it's just really really expensive. My family will take care of him if I'm gone but I want to make sure there is money for his surgery. I think sometimes I have a tiny bit of hope left too...I keep wanting things to turn around for me.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Thanks. He is ok. It's not life threatening it's just really really expensive. My family will take care of him if I'm gone but I want to make sure there is money for his surgery. I think sometimes I have a tiny bit of hope left too...I keep wanting things to turn around for me.
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Now this is tough. I am really sad about your dog and want to hear about what is happening...but Yaayyyyy! You are staying!
Thankfully it's not life threatening just a really really expensive surgery. I can't leave yet until I know there is enough money to cover it. Plus deep down I have this tiny bit of hope left....like I want my life to turn around so bad!!
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Thankfully it's not life threatening just a really really expensive surgery. I can't leave yet until I know there is enough money to cover it. Plus deep down I have this tiny bit of hope left....like I want my life to turn around so bad!!
We can do it girl. We're in such similar situations, you know I'm cheering you on.
 
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Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
Thankfully it's not life threatening just a really really expensive surgery. I can't leave yet until I know there is enough money to cover it. Plus deep down I have this tiny bit of hope left....like I want my life to turn around so bad!!

You really seem to care a great deal for your dog friend. He is very lucky to have you as family! I am cheering for both of you and hope that your efforts to raise those funds goes well. Please continue taking good care of him ad try not to forget yourself too!
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Thanks. He is ok. It's not life threatening it's just really really expensive. My family will take care of him if I'm gone but I want to make sure there is money for his surgery. I think sometimes I have a tiny bit of hope left too...I keep wanting things to turn around for me.

It's amazing what we do for our fur-family isn't it? I love my cats more than... even family.

Granted, I do have the "yay you'll be around longer" in my head too.
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
You really seem to care a great deal for your dog friend. He is very lucky to have you as family! I am cheering for both of you and hope that your efforts to raise those funds goes well. Please continue taking good care of him ad try not to forget yourself too!
Thank you. I really appreciate it! He is such a good dog he needs me.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
It's amazing what we do for our fur-family isn't it? I love my cats more than... even family.

Granted, I do have the "yay you'll be around longer" in my head too.
Animals are better than any human, and I will share my yayyyyy with you. ;)
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
It's amazing what we do for our fur-family isn't it? I love my cats more than... even family.

Granted, I do have the "yay you'll be around longer" in my head too.
Our fur babies become our family. My beloved dog I had for 16 years passed last year and I have not been the same. I promised my current dog (I have had him about 3 years) that I would care for him. I must...it's so hard to hang on. I'm really going to try.
30 more min everyone in EST time! I might even put on a little make up to look extra pretty for my new year kisses! :blarg:
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
24 minutes before the East cost explodes in excitement.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
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