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Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Bacon? That stuff will kill you! It contains Sodium Nitrite!
:pfff: :pfff: :pfff: It's also not kosher.

But I have totally talked about sodium nitrite and people using it to kill themselves in conjunction with bacon and my mom was like "well that's stupid".
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
Stupid hot flashes & thyroid symptoms!!!!!!

I put my robe on and I'm burning up because of the hot flashes. Then I take it off & a few minutes later I'm freezing so much I'm shivering because of the thyroid problems!!! It's driving me crazy!

menopause sucks!
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Ugh, now my mom is making me help my brother with his homework. I feel like it's hopeless as I tried to teach him yesterday and he didn't pick it up.
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
AE9958E6 F52D 4E9F 8326 28D95C291748


On the plus side, I now have lots of chocolate!
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Can i just post in here when i'm ready to go? I feel like everyone here is everyone i would really want to know from SS.

I have 20 other letters written to send to people IRL. Don't really need the extra company.
Post here and I will let Stan know you are coming. :heart:
 
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LegaliseIt!

LegaliseIt!

Elementalist
Nov 29, 2019
808
Well, I am off to dinner. TTYS.
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
Can you send the link for those? :) I think i might get some.
Got them on Amazon. Can I send a link from there? Is that allowed? In a PM? I'll try to figure out how to do it.
 
B

Backwood_tilt

UnEnlightened
Dec 27, 2019
889
I've never been more impatient about anything in my life as I am about getting this nitrogen tank right now. I've never felt in such a rush to do anything. Even when I first made up my mind to CTB, this was so much more abstract a thought. But the way things are going now, i am so prepared....

I have a few fleeting obligations and i'm not sure i'll get everything resolved in time. I wish there were a version of me that didn't have all these problems I have, to help fulfill remaining professional/social obligations, but then i guess that wouldn't be the real me...

I would only post on this site, but there's a song I want to post. I don't know. . . maybe I'll just post the song on here when I go. I had intended to make a thread just saying what this site and the people here have meant to me, but I think most of the people that I would've been talking about, other than all of you here, are almost all gone now.
Hmmm. . . I'll have to think about that a little bit.

The song sounds like a nice idea :)
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
I've never been more impatient about anything in my life as I am about getting this nitrogen tank right now. I've never felt in such a rush to do anything. Even when I first made up my mind to CTB, this was so much more abstract a thought. But the way things are going now, i am so prepared....

I have a few fleeting obligations and i'm not sure i'll get everything resolved in time. I wish there were a version of me that didn't have all these problems I have, to help fulfill remaining professional/social obligations, but then i guess that wouldn't be the real me...



The song sounds like a nice idea :)
I hear you. I've got all kinds of stuff that I'm going to have to leave undone because I just can't physically get it done because of all my illnesses and such. The irony is, if I had the ability to get the stuff done, I might not have to leave quite as quickly. But I feel like I am deteriorating so fast at this point that it's probably better that I leave sooner rather than later before I get to some point where I can't do anything for myself anymore. Or where I slip up and tell somebody what I'm doing when I don't mean to because I'm so brain foggy that I don't know what I'm talking about.
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
I hear you. I've got all kinds of stuff that I'm going to have to leave undone because I just can't physically get it done because of all my illnesses and such. The irony is, if I had the ability to get the stuff done, I might not have to leave quite as quickly. But I feel like I am deteriorating so fast at this point that it's probably better that I leave sooner rather than later before I get to some point where I can't do anything for myself anymore. Or where I slip up and tell somebody what I'm doing when I don't mean to because I'm so brain foggy that I don't know what I'm talking about.
I've never been more impatient about anything in my life as I am about getting this nitrogen tank right now. I've never felt in such a rush to do anything. Even when I first made up my mind to CTB, this was so much more abstract a thought. But the way things are going now, i am so prepared....

I have a few fleeting obligations and i'm not sure i'll get everything resolved in time. I wish there were a version of me that didn't have all these problems I have, to help fulfill remaining professional/social obligations, but then i guess that wouldn't be the real me...

Granted, once you're dead... things like that won't even apply.

I've actually wondered... would knowing you're going to be dead from an attempt that you won't (most likely) survive be any different than being told to prepare not waking up from a surgery.... like would your last moments be completely focused into a few things that summarize the only things that really matter to you... like the last thing that really matters, or whatever.
 
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Backwood_tilt

UnEnlightened
Dec 27, 2019
889
like would your last moments be completely focused into a few things that summarize the only things that really matter to you... like the last thing that really matters, or whatever.

I have a feeling i know what bluewidow will be thinking about.

I know i will be thinking about my ex, as i do every day and all day.

will other thoughts drift into my mind? maybe..... probably wondering why that meteor still hasn't showed up
Granted, once you're dead... things like that won't even apply.

to me! but i am responsible to other people and my absence is going to be an obstacle to some degree. And i wish i could do better by them.
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
Granted, once you're dead... things like that won't even apply.

I've actually wondered... would knowing you're going to be dead from an attempt that you won't (most likely) survive be any different than being told to prepare not waking up from a surgery.... like would your last moments be completely focused into a few things that summarize the only things that really matter to you... like the last thing that really matters, or whatever.
Yes, I'm sure I'll be thinking of my husband. But I'm also going to be thinking of how I am about to be released from my mind & my body which have become my prison. I'm going to be thinking about how I'm about to be free. In fact, that's the last word of the song that I chose that I will post. The last words in the song are "she's free".
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
I have a feeling i know what bluewidow will be thinking about.

I know i will be thinking about my ex, as i do every day and all day.

will other thoughts drift into my mind? maybe..... probably wondering why that meteor still hasn't showed up
I know it focused my thoughts very quick when told I might wake up from surgery. MY entire life compressed into a few things. instantly. nothing else mattered. I decided then to never have regrets, no matter what, and until last year, I managed that. Now I have one. Well two, but one I can't control, and technically the one I can't fix now. And if there was an afterlife, I could take care of the other one.... probably get slapped while making up for it if at all possible, but still lol.
Yes, I'm sure I'll be thinking of my husband. But I'm also going to be thinking of how I am about to be released from my mind & my body which have become my prison. I'm going to be thinking about how I'm about to be free. In fact, that's the last word of the song that I chose that I will post. The last words in the song are "she's free".
Aww, the last words of the song sound neat!

Interesting... I did a quick search for those words because it sounded familiar, and it returned a single song.... doubt it's it though, but won't ask given it's something you want to be your final possibly.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I feel like it's hopeless. My brother isn't picking up on his math homework and his ADHD is kicking in big time. He's not focused at all.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Was talking to my mom and she called me a hypochondriac, said I like to have stuff wrong with me and that I have a title for everything because I told her I have seborrheic dermatitis (which is true, my hairdresser thinks). And that I like drama.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Nooo! You're going to be admitted for sleep deprivation here soon at this rate :(
A simple PM will put me to sleep. It's going to be night 7 lol.
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Was talking to my mom and she called me a hypochondriac, said I like to have stuff wrong with me and that I have a title for everything because I told her I have seborrheic dermatitis (which is true, my hairdresser thinks). And that I like drama.
Everything has a name... literally... the plastic part at the end of shoelaces has a name. just because you know it doesn't mean you're a hypochondriac, it just means you know the name of it. Really it means you've been told what it is.
 
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B

Backwood_tilt

UnEnlightened
Dec 27, 2019
889
SQUIDSTERRR

:(
 
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